Whoâs A Little Leech?
Official Release: 3/29/2020 Available on all streaming platforms.
Teased on Instagram in 2019 (see below the cut)
DR. LYMER: A superior creature! A gift from the gods to the mad the desperate, deathly despondent, disgustingly sad, disappointed, and down on their luck, whose distinguishing feature, and why I am protectively clad, is, no, not the three sets of teeth that could pierce the hide of an African elephant, rather more relephant is the magnificent, truly spectacular, marvelous, hardly believable, and unachievable by any other conceivable parasite: The unearthly ability to simply suck!
Whoâs a darling? Whoâs a dear? Whoâs a little blind? But you never mind, for your papa is here. Whoâs a little miracle, and proof empirical, of heaven above? Whoâs a little leech? Whoâs a little peach? Whoâs a little love?
Look! Some luscious juicy veins! Take a little bite, whatever will delight all your thirty-two brains. Whoâs a little sanguivorously carnivorous? Please, donât bite my glove! Whoâs a little leech? Whoâs a little peach? Whoâs a little love?
Wiggle wiggle wiggleâŚ
Willingly, and rather thrillingly, I watch you writhing as you wait, wanting only what you so rightly deserve.
Man! Wonât you hold her down more tightly! I might have hit some sort of nerve.
No, no, wait, get the plate! Bless my soul, grab the bowl, and the salt!
EMILY: What is that for? Stop! Youâre killing it!
DR. LYMER: God damn you, youâre spilling it!
She is most particularly filled with demon blood, the cause of every ill. Letâs bleed the bitch until sheâs drained of every bloody drop!
There we are.
JarâŚ
Whoâs a wondrous little worm? Hereâs a fleshy slice. Doesnât that look nice? Oh, youâre sweet when you squirm. Isnât it divine that what you like to dine upon is what weâve got plenty of? Whoâs a little leech? Whoâs a little peach? Whoâs a little love?
Wiggle wooâŚ
You are exotic, and aquatic. Did you know theyâre imported from France? Fancy fancy France, fancy France! Once they were British, the Queenâs loyal subjects, but nobody objects to foreign romance!
Still, although theyâre hermaphrodites, self-reproducible, supply canât keep up with demand.
Now her handâŚ
Thus I felt it was right that I make them reusable.
Servant! The scissors! Now watch, this is grand!
When sheâs pliant and pale, and heâs full to exceeding, I cut of his tail so that he can keep feeding, and feeding and feeding and feeding and feeding, and she can keep bleeding and bleeding and bleeding and⌠Yes! Yes! Yes!
Whoâs a darling? Whoâs a dear? Utterly humane, friend to the insane, from Ophelia to King Lear. And if you could speak, Iâd surely hear you squeak, âDear Doctor Lymer, I love you too!â
Whoâs a little leech? Hereâs a little clue: Whoâs a little peach? Itâs a little you! Whoâs a little diamond, slithery and slimy, dearest little dove? Whoâs a little love!
You might feel a little pinch.
