We interrupt modern au to bring you angst with my OCs that literally no one asked for lol
“Where are you going?”
Astorrel tied her pack closed and threw it over one shoulder.
“Hunting.”
“Is this the kind of hunting trip where you disappear for a couple months and then come crawling back half-dead?”
“Maybe.”
She had the cottage door open before Lina could catch her arm, but she did pause there on the threshold and tried to smother flames before they caught in her gut. Lina’s hand was warm and firm against her skin. Familiar. Astorrel knew every detail of those hands, and just now she could feel the slight bump of scar tissue where Lina had slipped taking a cutting once.
This was too good for her. Lina was too good.
“Don’t do this again,” Lina said softly behind her. “Please.”
“I have to.”
“You don’t have to do anything. You could just stay here and help me with the garden and let yourself be happy for once.”
Astorrel was quiet for a long time. After a while she shrugged off Lina’s hand.
“He made it personal.”
“You don’t want to be that person. I know you don’t.”
The dusk was very still. Somewhere in the woods a bird was trilling, and closer a cricket sang, but they were the only sounds to shatter the golden air.
Astorrel noticed she was shaking so she put her hand on Mirlach’s hilt to reassure herself.
“I have to kill him, Lina. I have to know what he is.“
The woman gave an exasperated groan.
“Why can’t you just walk away?”
Astorrel closed her eyes.
“Lina…”
“You always say you want to cast aside your family’s legacy. How you won’t be counted as one of them. But every chance you get, you go running back to fight their battles. It’s as if you’re stuck, you’re trapped, but you won’t even let me help you out. As if you like it in the mess.”
“Would you rather I did nothing?” Astorrel’s grip tightened on the hilt of her sword. “That I stand by, farming, while innocent people die?”
“I would prefer you didn’t go pursuing invincible enemies in hopes you’ll be killed.”
Again, Lina touched her arm, but this time she recoiled as if burned by the touch.
“Even if you can find him, Garavdúr will kill you,” Lina said, some of the warmth gone from her voice. “What point do you see in it?”
“That creature spoke Quenya and he knew my name. That is not an orc.”
“Why does it matter what he is?”
Something in the pit of Astorrel’s belly went hot. The fire she worked so hard to contain crackling in her soul. Inherited passion.
“It could be someone I knew.” Hot, blinding anger. “It could be one of my cursed line and it is my responsibility to rid the world of Fëanorians before we can kill anyone else.”
She closed her eyes again, trying desperately to let the flames sizzle out with the setting sun. Just let them die.
Lina sounded almost as angry as she was, but her voice was steadier- stone turned brittle in the heat.
“Your father is dead. There are no more Fëanorians.”
Astorrel shook her head. Images of a black iron mask played before her eyes, expressionless. Words in the language of Valinor that no one even used anymore.
“Well met, Estelmist, Maedhros’s heir.”
The gleam of Noldorin steel in his hand, and a star scratched faded into his breastplate.
“I know him, Lina.”
“Then go.” Affection drained from the voice; nothing left but unhappy defeat. “I’ll be here to put you back together when you’re done, so you can do it all again next time the fancy takes you.”
She didn’t know why she had to ruin everything she touched. She didn’t know why she couldn’t just let herself be happy.
Maybe it did just run in her blood.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I have to do this.”
She was caught in the mire of the family curse, no matter how she tried to pull herself out. Deep down she knew she would never find escape. There was no satisfaction waiting for her in this life.
