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she could have just been the journal keeper she could have had a simple straightforward title or role like the other birds but no she’s lonely too. it’s so important that she is lonely. she’s been lonely forever. and I’m fine it’s fine i’m feeling so fucking normal about it
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Lets see where this leads, I suppose.
sick to my stomach thinking about team dark in sonic 06. they just keep saving each other. they don’t want to hurt each other. they sacrifice for each other. they stay loyal to each other thru space and time. FUCK
still waiting on a beauty and the beast retelling where the woman is the beast and she actually does kind of suck personality-wise and does actually look like a monster and the cheerful smart sweet natured male belle wants her to be better because he loves her but also thinks the ugliness and fangs and stuff are kinda hot too
i know the original poem is over 100 years old and loreena mckennitt's rendition is nearly 30 but i don't think i'll ever get over "the highwayman", it gets better every time i listen to it. just the parallelism of the way he and she strain to reach for each other -- he for her hand, she for the trigger -- and the descriptions of their faces -- "his face burned like a brand" when she lets down her hair, "her face was like a light" when she hears him on the highway (and then, rule of three, "his face grew grey to hear" when he finds out that she's dead). it's unbeatable romance for me, this is my "the gift of the magi," this is my orpheus and eurydice
and the way both characters are framed...........it's named for him but she's the closest we get to a hero. we see and feel from her perspective, she's attacked and abused and she keeps her composure, she bloodies her hands to either free herself or free him, she wields the weapon, she is the one who gets a win over the redcoats. she's noble, she's strong, she's faithful, and, you know, she's in love with a highwayman. meanwhile, he does not keep his composure, he goes wild with grief and rage, his emotions overpower him -- and when he dies, it's not heroic, it's an anticlimax, it's undignified and abrupt and almost shameful. but they're both so HUMAN, it's not a lovely innocent woman wearing white waiting, faintingly, for him by the window, and he's not a strong brave hero who sweeps her away to safety. the romance is in the fact that they are not Romantic. the romance IS her bloody hands and her undone hair and his shriek of grief and his death like a dog in the highway. does any of this make sense, am i coming thru. orpheus and eurydice want what they have
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gives me the creeps that some people actually enjoy the “you, the audience, are culpable for/complicit in the terrible things that have happened here” thing in storytelling. like. oh, you don’t feel enough needless sourceless guilt and shame in your life? you need to concoct a reason to feel guilty? you WANT to feel shame for doing nothing but existing in proximity to people having a bad time? cool beans cool beans
anyway it still fucks me up that the episode is called “the homecoming.” this guy who had a short reign of terror in the local college exploiting students for money, who burned down two separate buildings, who nearly killed three separate people, who was in detention for several years for his crimes. this guy who nobody misses and most people still resent. and when he comes back it’s a homecoming. prodigal son something something something. whatever
i get what people are saying when they tell people looking for masc knitting/crochet patterns that clothing has no gender and everyone of any gender can wear whatever they want and if a certain gender wears a certain piece of clothing then that clothing is for that gender. i get it. believe me. i get it. however. i live in the Real Fallible World of People Assuming Gender and i would like to not writhe in the internal flames of dysphoria hell because sooooo many of the not-boring knitting patterns are very femme. when i say i am looking for masc knitting patterns i'm not trying to reinforce centuries of a strictly gendered fashion binary. i am simply, on an individual level, trying not to Die Inside. thank you for understanding.
