fuck starters ( accepting ).  ll  @leafmedic.

SHISUI.   a growl sneered askance,  a smear of snarl as fingers curl && ache && curl more tightly into metal.                                     shackles.                                   fuck.“ i don’t care who’s fault it is, ”   low && dangerous,  sharp as the flare of ( tone it down, tone it down ) sharingan in cell’s shadows,              “ i’m just gonna get out. ”

                                                         carefulquiet,  yet intensity lashes across                                                             too little distance between them.                                                         it’s not sakura,  && it’s not the scrubbed                                                          clean smell of stone && steel,  it’s not the                                                          stale air weighted with something                                                              between them.

it’s just - [ wrists rubbed raw, the chain ‘twixt cuffstooshort ] - just a lack of control as its tail ends slip through struggling fingers,  the [ shortHOTrasp of breath too high in his chest, high in his throat ].

            “ never mind me, ”                     mutter mutter eyes wild && wide open,  “ don’t mind me - ”

because he’s losing it && this is dumb && he’s in a prison cell && this is fine,  he’s got this,  can do this,  no problem in sight– hah —-

“ i’m fine. ”

nobody asked ( not here, not now ),  but whatever.        how the fuck is he supposed to remember the [ splash of reckless joy in his chest, breathing light ] or the [ soft hiss of her voice not in fury or pain, but in the simple frustration of a mom friend ] like time && space are not choked out of a mind usually spacious — there’s not enough room for fuck’s given about how they got here.

it’s fine.   at least the place smells clean.   that’s fine.   [ there’s probably no disease, no terror, no— ]      he’s fine && sakura’s fine,  but he’s not gonna look cuz he knows what he’ll see.   don’t look don’t look don’t look.   && don’t start beating yourself up over this fit,  cuz it’ll only make it harder.                slow breaths,  mind’s retreat from the war that isn’t there.they’re fine.   && this is going to suck,  but they’ll only be in here for a few days. that’s manageable.   … he’ll live,  anyway.

exhaustion creeps into what tiny crevices that stress reluctantly surrenders.   shisui slinks backward into the darkest corner ( the one that would spin tales of the worst if looked into ) without meeting green eyes.   a breath,  steadied by will alone.   this is a fit.   don’t let it control you.   ease up there,  soldier …… okay.

this is really going to suck.   haha.

         “ don’t … ”   a stutter behind curved bone,  pale features briefly taut.   the ceiling then,  let’s stare at that instead - block out the humiliating fact of another’s conscious presence.   “ … don’t tell anyone. ”

TRUTH SERUM.  ll  @leafmedic  ll  not accepting.

 && he says,  with         the flattest possible expression     on smooth features :

                       “  ----------------------   p i n k .  ”

             well,  i mean.   sorta ?         it’s certainly not a lie.

@leafmedic​ YES. ALL ‘I HATE ANGST’ WHILE ALSO 'HERE’S ONE OF YOUR TREASURED RAREPAIRS NOW WATCH AS WE TEAR THEM APART WITH NO WAY TO PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER’. Just– Just give me something. A glimpse of happy. We both need it

ok ok here i go forgive me if i miswrite sakura.

it’s months later.   && that is a misleading way to put it - it’s easily a year since she left && he wandered,  a year && three months since he gained && lost // she lost && recovered.   or sought recovery. as usual,  an anxious mind had presumed to know the outcome - death && sadder things life’s only blessing.   hatred would have been a welcome lash - but distance was the remedy they both needed.   hated,  needed.   loved,  wanted // could not have.   odd,  to think back through memories && recall the echo of how vivid those emotions then had been.

             bittersweet.   with all that has happened && not happened ( most importantly ) between them,  it is,  all in all,  with happiness that shisui looks back.   despair itself is not so bad when prelude to truer things,  real reasons to light a smile as you hold the sky in high regard ( rather than curse it, question it, turn away ). it’s bluer now.   somehow.   nearly cloudless ; what few tufts up there chase a lazy cat && mouse across a blue like deidara’s eyes.   if shisui leant up on his elbows && looked right,  he’d be able to see it there,  under the crooked smile he’s sharing with the easy set of sakura’s shoulders. unwilling to put in the effort,  one merely glances right - directly into a mass of rose locks,  soft && tangled && littered with grass.   they’d just mowed in the uchiha compound.   sakura’s namesake stretches out above them with old,  gnarled branches that seem to capture the soft sound of joking tease,  familiar banter.   deidara sits cross-legged,  fingers ever moving through the grass.   thankfully he’s given up on yanking out what’s left && shredding that - turns instead to what’s yet fallen to sharp blades && - what the fuck,  is he braiding a grassy crown.

finally moved to get the hell up,  shisui frowns ( loudly ) at the sight of saturated greens on pink.   “  sakura.  ”   harrowed,  yet all this tone earns itself is a perfectly innocuous quirk of brows.   “  it clashes.  ”

she scoffs.   “  no it doesn’t.  ”

ere complaint can argue this,  deidara commits to further crimes by dropping a similar crown on sooty locks.   he is glared at accordingly // smirks something wicked // && drops a third onto his own golden head.   “  shut up,  uchimwah.  ”

fucking -   “  shut your -  ”

“  uchimuahaha~  ”   the true glint of mirth ( && taunt ) in warm green eyes catches the irritation in his throat ; it is strangled into a lurch of uneasy happiness that does terrible things to this mask of vexation.   deidara further aids this cause by grabbing porcelain cheeks ( no tan for shisui ) && tugging them sideways.

            “  thath noth a thmiwe awfhow.  ”       “  did you just call me a hoe.  ”             “  did you just reduce my clan’s name to a villainous cackle ?  ”       “  yeah.  ”             “  well then.  ”

“  what is the dirtiest thing you’ve ever called sasori ?  ”

shock turns to the medic caught betwixt their bickering.   she looks quite at ease right there - far more so than either male knew to expect with this...  topic.   they’ve not,  really,  spoken of it - not... really.   y’know ?   been careful.   but she’s been taking care on her own,  && they really haven’t had a proper conversation in over a year.   ( it’s practically scandalous. )

      “  what ?   you’d both sooner eat a cactus                needles && all than insult him to his face,  so...  ”

               “  are you trying to figure out what you can get away with,  hm ?  ”

pale brows rise,  form perfect arches of innocence over the wicked colour of her lips.   she does well - her veneer of playfulness barely trembles around one edge over there,  && the sentiment is not fake to begin with.    shisui figures he shouldn’t be applauding her ability to compartmentalize,  but that’s not...  really what’s going on here ( or it is, but not like he’s used to ? ).   whatever this is,  he’s lost control of it.   that’s about fine.

        “  maaaaaybe~  ”

‘’’’’’’’cute’’’’’’’ questions.  ll  @leafmedic  ll  accepting !70. is there anyone you would die for?

OOC::   i strive for this to be no.   i don’t see why my existence should be worth less than another’s,  why i should love myself any less.   if it comes to that,  if it turns out to be what i want or what i prefer - i’ll see.   but,  no.   principally no.   there is no point && i will not be that callous toward me && my own dreams.but on the other hand i’m totally the kinda guy who’d pull that stunt PROVIDED my feelings aren’t unrequited.   like.   if you won’t die for me,  then uh.  you ain’t worth my life honey.   i just ??   i know what i want,  && to be a hero isn’t it.

DEIDARA.

        “  die for !?   i’m not dyin’ for anyone,  lmao.  ”                oh,  i said lmao out loud.                          “  i quit my shitty-ass village.   i’m not dyin’ for no-one but myself.  ” 

SASORI.

        “  you misunderstand my nature,  my character.   i would not die for someone.   i would make others die to reach a better result.  ”               if the artist dies,  so does the art.   strings not cut,  but lifeless - soulless.   pointless.   pointlessness is worst,  perhaps,  of all.

HIDAN.

      “  well,  duh.   i’d fuckin’ kick it for jashin-sama.            but he wants me alive.   so,  y’know.         that’s the way it is until he changes his fuckin’ mind.  ”

SHISUI.

        “  ...no.  ”

SAKURA.

     faces pass in mind’s periphery - sasuke’s,  naruto’s,  shishou’s... kakashi,  iruka,  more.   on && on && on it goes...                 but where is she                            in this line-up of important people ?

         “  i... don’t know anymore.   i think -  ”

life outside the village - all its little pleasures && glories,  the sweet ache of having earned enough to secure a place in a good inn.   the knowledge that she can make it on her own, - not do everything alone,  but much.   the alone part,  the independence part - that’s not even it,  it’s...

               “  i don’t.   i think i’d.   i’d die for myself.                  so i wouldn’t have to become...                  something i don’t want to be.  ”

WALK IN ON MY MUSE ( or don’t ).  ll  @leafmedic  ll  accepting !

SASORI.      it’s not that [  quick steps,  quiet breath  ] have escaped one’s notice ; nor have [  faint perfume,  bodyheat  ] even across several feet.   OBVIOUS is the slip of breath from softer lips,  the hitch of it within her throat.for all intents && purposes,  however,  sasori remains unaware.   the breadth of one’s shoulders is set calm for once,  relaxed.   honeyed silk his skin,  crushed into scar tissue ( old,  since before death && rebirth && the same again ) - soundless yet perfectly telling to any with the right kind of experience [  she should be such  ].   deceptively soft ‘twixt two furled lines,  scar && silk && scar again until both sink down into slender of waist // hips’ flare - disappear under towel’s simple folds.had she come any earlier,  it might’ve been to the sound of INVITATION.   alas.

he can pretend to be studying his nails all afternoon if it means she remains caught,  gaping.   there’s no need to check - whatever has brought her here stands ignored in favour of the sight he makes ( && it’s in an oddly detached fashion that he wonders what sight exactly that may be ).   tut,  tut.   so easily distracted.

childish,  perhaps.   to cant hips && allow a hiss of ivory fabric as it loosens,  clings — ultimately falls away ( in a glide t’ward gravity’s embrace ).   copper tickles along one’s nape ‘till amber hues catch jade,  follow the lines of her expression.perfectly flat is one’s voice when —

                                “  — haruno.  ”

RANDOM TEXTS.  ll  @leafmedic​  ll  accepting !

DEIDARA ( a late night text ).

( sms ) — r u up( sms ) — u better b up

( sms ) — ... ive been sleeping on ur roof the past few nights just fyi

SASORI ( a hyper text [  challenge accepted...  ] ).

( sms ) — ten to the wall of mearcair. three set stone to the nine of my dynamics && i have only four - FOUR - scrolls with me. empty ones. i have

( sms )— come.

HIDAN ( a taunting text [  coffeeshop au  ] ).

( sms )— you couldn’t even reach,  shorty.   whatareya gonnado ??   hop up && down while u try to punch me in the fucking face ??( sms )— if you do  i’ll tell your manager to get me free shit( sms )— so by all means  bitch

SHISUI ( a scared text [  coffeeshop au  ] ).

@leafmedic

DEIDARA && SASORI.

          “  nature && nurture.  ”

albeit naught but scientific in context,  inflection’s sour note does roughen boy’s smooth voice ( suggests skepsis ) - muted by the tight && tuck of lips to pearlen teeth // tension to belie the fold of arms beneath his head.sasori’s glance is askance ; decoration to the scoff at throat’s back when bitter sentiment is so very poorly hidden.   deidara’s façade is an artless one ( despite years of practise ). [  perhaps that’s for the best.  ]

                 “  loving && losing,  ”                          offers the eldest ( not oblivious                                  to jaw’s tightening clench ),           “  pain && pleasure,  if you will.  ”

    “  choice && the lack thereof.  ”             bounced back as though another argument - && perhaps it is,  despite being of the same mind in this.   it is not an arrangement that lends itself to animosity // layers the air with a heavy,  but companionable mood.

“  hn.   conditioning && personal will.                  ---  sakura ?  ”

NSFW QUESTIONS ( probably ).  ll  @leafmedic  ll  accepting !

SHISUI.       words slip through full lips thinned ere one     can really wonder ; reflex takes charge of this retort.

“  ---  the one where we mudwrestle.  ”

                 grave,  as though this                 were a matter of great importance.

       “  && that’s probably my favourite too.  ”