#assma

This is it , life You know when I were little I always believed that everyone is good and there is not evil. Everyone will live in peace including myself , but I was wrong , actually very wrong. Let me tell you why my friend ? Trust no one , no one is good , people will leave you and disappoint and followed by the most ridiculous reasons you'll ever hear. At first you would never know you why , you'd only question yourself , it's like a maze that you're stuck in and you can't find you'll way out . Days , weeks and months pass and you found your waiting out ; you tried to help yourself and it somehow worked , probably some friends helped , you fixed your relationship with your family and you're happier than you have ever been. One night , I sat alone in my bed and I remembered you , I got my camera and watched every single video of us , im not going to lie I teared up a little , I remembered how I spent my favorite holiday with you , I remembered our laughs , hugs and tears , I didn't let a single memory pass ; I believe I remembered everything , I listened to our favorite song with regret , it tore me into two , I felt like I couldn't breath for a second , like the whole world stopped revolving and I stayed and stopped at one point where I remembered how you broke your promises and you told me you would stay forever , but our forever was the biggest lie I've ever heard , you kept bullshitting me with lies for two years , twenty four months , one hundred and five weeks , seven hundred and thirty one days and seventeen thousand five hundred thirty one hours. And you left me alone with your memories with me crying at three am while listening to our favorite song with no one but the four walls in my room to hear my pain and know how hurt I am. This is life and no one is good.

Why do we romanticize harming our selves What's so beautiful about sticking your finger down your throat ; throwing up everything you eat , thinking this will give you the one thing you want which is skinny. What's so beautiful about starving yourself for days , thinking that if you skip that meal ; you will be skinny. What's so beautiful about slicing up your skin and watching yourself bleed for a peace of mind that you will never have. Why do we think we would be prettier if we were a little skinnier or a little bit taller. if we see a flower we would automatically think it's beautiful without a second doubt ; we wouldn't say , if it was only red or white , why ? Because it's a part of nature and we think nature is beautiful no matter what , aren't we souls a part of nature , why would we harm ourselves ? Just for ideas of perfection that society and media craved into our minds. But they were wrong. Since when was loving someone for their physical self much more important than loving them for their soul. Since when girls had to have that beautiful smile and small waist so they can get the guy they like. Since when boys are supposed to have perfect smiles and perfect bodies ; to be attractive. Since when do we love someone for their look..... ♡