#asktheincubi

If the boys had a little sister what would her name be?? and how would the boys treat her?? & what are her genes (genetics) ,like sam he’s got a bit of dragon in him what if she was like 1/4 of succubus, 1/4 brute demon & 1/2 of dragon

Idfk 😅 btw love your work your amazing

Matthew: DeAr GoD!!! I just baked some cookies too! There are so many cookies everywhere, man! We could fill a room. Do you even know what that means?

Damien: That we’ll have to eat cookies for every meal for the next few days?

Matthew: NO! I mean, yes, that too, but that’s not the point right now. 

Matthew: The point is so many cookies mean crumbs!

James: Crumbs?

Matthew: *Narrows his eyes and stares directly into the camera like in the Office* Crumbs. Everywhere.

Matthew: And that means Mika will whoop our asses. We need to find ants. A lot of them.

Sam: What?

Matthew: Ants will come in and they will eat the crumbs or take them home to their kids or something, and there will be no more crumbs.

Matthew: Then when all the crumbs are gone we’ll bring in the anteaters.

Erik: *Deadpan voice* The anteaters.

Matthew: Yeah! Those ants won’t even know what hit ‘em. One moment they’re all like “WoOoOoAaAh! There’s so much food here! This is great! I’m having fun!” and the next thing they know it’ll be like “BAAAM!! NO MORE FOOD! ONLY DEATH AND DESTRUCTION!”.

Matthew: And just like that both the crumbs and the ant will be gone. Problem solved.

Damien: …

James: …

Sam: …

Erik: …

James: *Sighs* You see what I mean by “weird behaviour”?

Matthew: Hey, this isn’t weird! This is just a perfectly normal problem solving process.

Erik: No. A “perfectly normal” problem solving process concerning cookie crumbs would involve a vacuum cleaner.

Matthew: Fine. You go ahead and be boring with your vacuum cleaner. In the meantime, I’ll bake more cookies so that there’ll be even more crumbs and we’ll see how yoUR VACUUM HANDLES THAT!

Damien: Matthew no!

Matthew: MaTtHeW yEs!

Sam: Should I go stop him?

You wanna know why? Sam here.

I just love her. The way she talks, acts, works, walks, looks, everything.

She drives me fucking nuts and I can’t get enough of it because she makes me feel like I’m not a damn monster.

Sam: *Shrugs* I’ll take it.

James: *Slaps his hand*

Sam: Hey!

James: Manners, Sam. There’s no need to apologise believe I witness behaviour that’s a lot weirder than that everyday. Everyone who sees Matthew or Sam on a daily basis does.

Matthew: Hey! What did I do?

James: I won’t grace that with an answer for you already know exactly what you do. 

James: Anyway, thank you again for the cookies, miss/ter. They’re just in time as Damien just said it would’ve been nice have something sweet to eat with our tea.

Damien: Yes! Thank you so much.

Sam: How do you know they’re sweet? What if they put salt instead of sugar? You know, just to fuck with us.

Erik: Not everyone is you, Sam.

I’m gonna go with Sam being drunk this time. I don’t even know if demons can get drunk but even if not, they can in here!

Sam: Hey. Hey! Hey, doofus! 

MC: Yes, Sam?

Sam: *Laughes* Doofuuuuuuuuss!!!

MC: Uhh… Sam? You okay?

Sam: Fuck yeah, man! Never been better.*Belches*

MC: Oh, my God. You’re drunk, aren’t you?

Sam: No shit! What gave it away?

MC: Just a hunch.

Sam: The fuck’s a hunch?

MC: Nothing. You should go to bed. I have some work to do.

Sam: Oh, come ooooon! You’re always workin’. Come ‘ere and gimme a smooch!

MC: *Laugh* Dear God, Sam! What have you been drinking?

Sam: Dunno. Matthew was brewing some sissy ass drinks and wanted me to taste ‘em. I did and told him that those weak ass drinks *belches* ain’t gonna get anyone drunk. 

MC: Guess you were wrong.

Sam: No no no no, I wasn’t wrong. I downed a bottle of *belches* vodka and two beers after that. Or three. Not really sure.

MC: Well, I hope to God that demons can’t get alcohol poisoning. Come on, then. Let’s get your ass down stairs and I’ll make you some coffee.

Sam: Can I have it in one of ‘em fancy ass glasses?

MC: Those are martini glasses, Sam.

Sam: So?

MC: *Sighs* Fine. You can have your coffee in a martini glass.

Sam: Fuck yeeeeeeeee *belches* aaaaah!!!

*Later in the kitchen*

MC: You’re being awfully quite, Sam. Not that I’m complaining but I feel like you’re thinking real hard about something. 

Sam: …

MC: Sam?

Sam: I don’t get how you do it.

MC: Do what?

Sam: How do you put up with me? And why? I mean, I know that I’m an asshole. But you still stick with me. 

MC: Oh, Sam! Don’t think like that! You’re a great guy! I mean, yeah, you’re an asshole. A big one. All the time, but you’re a well meaning one.

Sam: The fuck’s that mean?

MC: It means even though you treat people like shit, you don’t really mean to hurt them. Except Matthew sometimes, but still! I know that you love all of us. And you’ve also been a little less asshole-ish lately.

Sam: Thanks, doofus. Really. You know, you’re like the best thing that ever happened to me. I kinda wanna be a better fuckin’ person for you. You’re so good and beautiful and caring.  You’re like an angel without wings.

MC: *Touched* Sam, I-

Sam: So like a person. But like a nice ass person. With a really nice ass. Damn!

MC: *Facepalms while laughing* Thank you, Sam.

Sam: No problem. You know what? I’m gonna get ya a *belches* fuckin’ cup. It’ll say “#1 Doofus”. ‘Cause you deserve it. 

MC: I’ll look forward to it. 

Sam: Yeah, well, I’m gonna go hit the hay. You comin’?

MC: Yeah. I’m coming.

This isn’t exactly what you wanted but this is all I can do right now. So I hope you like it.  

MC: Eriiiiiiiiiiiik! *Hic*

Erik: Princess? Are you… alright? You sound quite different.

MC: Oh, I’m fiiiiine! But not as fine as you if you know what I mean ;)

Erik: Princess, are you intoxicated?

MC: NoOoOOoooo! *Frowns* Maybe

Erik: So you are. Come on, then. I’ll take you home before you hurt yourself.

MC: B-but we were having so much fun! And that outfit looks sooooo good on you, but I’m sure *hic* it’d look even better on the bathroom floor, you know? ;)

Erik: Princess, this is hardly the time for- oomff! *Blushes* Did you just grab my-

MC: Dick? Yeah. 

Erik: We really need to get you home. Please come with me.

MC: Oh, I’ll come with you, alright ;)

Erik: Heavens help me. 

*Later in the car*

MC: You know, Erik?

Erik: Yes, princess?

MC: You’re really *hic* sweet and kind and gentle and nice and some other complicated adjectives that *hic* I’m too drunk to be able to say.

Erik: W-why, thank you, princess! I-I’m flattered.

MC: Nonononononono! ‘Tis true. You’re like, wow, so perfect aaaaalll the time and I kinda feel like *hic* I don’t appreciate you enough. Everyone should appreciate you like aaaaaaall the time. Because you’re so wonderful, Erik.*hic*  

MC: *Pauses* You’re the light of my life.

Erik: *Speechless*

MC: I’m gonna go nap-nap now. G’night.

James react the most calmly. He gets that humans can sometime experience hormonal changes that cause their moods to constantly change. He would try to calm her down if she’s angry, encourage her if she’s down. He’d be most supportive. If it keeps happening on an unhealthy level, he’d take her to a psychiatrist.

Erik would also be mostly calm. He might also believe he did something to trigger this and ask if he did something wrong. He’d hug her if she’s sad, or let her take out her anger on him if she’s angry. He’d give her a massage and prepare a nice, hot bath for her.

Sam is absolutely clueless about what he did wrong when she suddenly starts yelling at him out of the blue and then start crying  before he even gets a chance to open his mouth. He panics, thinking he must’ve said something wrong. He fumbles with his word and panics even harder when she starts crying even harder. He calls all of his brothers and their wives, but they’re not much help. He eventually picks her up, throws her to the bed and hugs her to his chest. They stay like that until she calms down.

Matthew is also quiet confused when she starts changing from laughing to crying, and crying to absolutely livid in a time span of 10 seconds. At first he just sits and watches her laugh, cry and shout. Then he gets up, grabs her and sits her ass down on the couch, and brings her some hot chocolate from the kitchen. And it works. There’s nothing a good hot chocolate can’t solve.