#askmerriauthor

NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. DON’T DO THIS TO ME. DON’T MAKE ME THINK ABOUT THE AU I’VE BEEN SITTING ON FOR SIX YEARS. DON’T FUCKING DO THIS TO ME--

Sort of works as an early warning system for me. Anytime I’m talking with folk and they bring up Freudian psychology as anything other than “this debunked dumbass”, their voices rapidly turn to white noise in my ears and signals to me that such a person’s statements need to be viewed with heightened scrutiny from that point forward.

You have many options. But you also have the chance of being Taxi Cab Driving Lark's buddy, and who would pass on that? :3

My name is MerriAuthor and I endorse this.

Best part is I wrote this as a joke in an OOC thread on RPoL in a game I play a cop.  She still hasn’t gotten her coffee despite everything she’s been through.

Ed is a disgusting heathen who will eat any steak you give to him because god, fuck, it’s a meal and will keep him alive another day. But if he actually gets his preference, he takes it medium-rare, grilled on one side, with as many spices and herbs in the rub as can fit. He loves it with a glass of whiskey or bourbon, or if he has to be “civilized,” some of the darkest merlot you can find for him. Drier and bitterer the better. He will by default prefer it come from a restaurant because chances are someone’s buying for him, and the cooks are better at cooking than he is, but he actually makes pretty tasty campfire steaks. He suspects he’d about die and go to heaven if someone better at cooking were to cook it just right over a campfire for him. He’s one of those people who like knows a lot about cooking steaks rarely does, himself.

(He’s actually a barbeque ribs boy though, when it comes to cooked meat.)

TB is impossibly picky, will almost never eat steak that someone else made, and will just give the steak to Momo and Ains like fighting dogs throw it out if it’s not perfect. He likes his steak at an even 120-125 degrees after five minutes of resting, preferably salted and rubbed beforehand, and cooked in a red wine and butter. The leftover liquid in the pan is then reduced with mushrooms, and more butter and red wine, to make a glaze to pour on top of the steak. He undoubtedly loves tenderloin and filets best--mostly for the texture. He SAYS he prefers them with a vintage Douro Red that probably cost a hundred dollars, but what he’s hiding is that the best wine he had paired with a steak was probably a regular California Zinfandel that was about $30 at a restaurant twenty years ago.

Given how rarely he can be satisfied with a steak. he tends to opt for fish. White fishes most often, but he’s also been happy with salmon, swordfish, and mahi-mahi.

Momo is a young, stupid idiot who eats whatever grandpa puts in front of him because holy shit he needs a billion calories in a day, but if he’s on his own, he probably opts for cuts that aren’t necessarily tough, but are tougher than a tenderloin, like rib-eyes and strip-loins. He like the chew. Probably medium-rare at most, I doubt grandpa would let him have beyond that. He absolutely could not cook a steak to save his life, and grandpa makes it just right every time, so he’ll always go with grandpa’s cooking. He probably drinks red wines with it, but might prefer an IPA if he gets the chance to try it with steak. 

His favorite meat anything though is anything that was very heavily marinated in something acidic, spiced, and flavorful. Greek food, Indian food, Persian food, Korean, etc.

Pel has vague preferences but, in the event she’s eating with food snobs, purposefully chooses the worst steak and cooking combinations possible just for the pure joy of watching them froth at the mouth. She pretty much never has steak at home, so she’s undoubtedly eating at a restaurant to get steaks, so she probably has it with soda and mashed potatoes with instant-gravy. Don’t make me write more on her this is painful to write help me

(on Apex): “For having the most brilliant minds in the universe, somehow, they managed to pick the most unflattering aesthetic possible for their smelly monkey fur. -clap. clap. clap- Congratulations.”

(on Avian): “Feathers. How original. Nothing says ‘I know nothing about dressing myself’ like using one’s own feathers in their clothing as if they'd just invented Armani.”

(on other Florans): “I can smell the dirt in their loincloths from here.”

(on Glitch): “By gods, when they’re not wallowing in fluffalo shit, they seem to have a generally decent sense of taste. At least the programmed nobility do, anyway, most of their peasant coding seems to have ‘brown’ and ‘feels like a burlap sack’ ingrained into it.”

(on Hylotl): “Humans did it first and did it better.”

(on Humans): “Apex Lite.”

I LOVE IT SO MUCH. And you are very correct! Ed has a LOT of waterbending in his airbending, with a push and pull of air, sometimes pulling up air like how waterbenders will pull up water like a shield, and he can certainly turn a boat into a swamp-surfing airboat like the Foggy Swamp benders--only in his case, like an actual airboat, air propulsion and all! 

Estella was like. The fieriest earthbender. Kicking up earth in a way much like firebenders will kick up flames, with fast, rapid movements. Lots of legwork, as opposed to the power strikes of earthbending. Momo, her son, is mostly firebending style, but there’s plenty of the strength and power of earthbending thrown in. His slingshot move is pretty much just taken from an earthbending fastball. 

Pel too, doesn’t know it, but a lot of her forms are water and air. Swift, evasive, ribbon-y and whirling like air to whip around the superheated steam or send it forward in a gale.