#askmalu

you may not want to clean your room, but you like the peace and call it brings you after

you may not want to study, but you like the confidence and satisfaction you get from being prepared

you may not not want to apologise, but you like the relief and connection that reconciliation brings

you may not want to cook, but you like the satisfaction of eating a healthy come cooked meal prepared with love

you may not want to exercise, but you like how you feel afterwards and how it makes you confident

you may not want to journal or write, but you like the reflection and calm it brings you

you may not want to step out of your comfort zone, but you like the new experiences and growth you gain from it

My moisturizer. I use the Neutrogena aqua creme, and they changed the formula... SO GOOD

Poetry. I've always been a poetry girly, but lately, it's been a lot.

Wool coats. Cute, classy, and warm. LOVE IT

Charlotte Tilbury wands. I have a blush and a highlight one, and they make you look so glowy <3

Tea. So. Much. TEA.

Zara home candles. I love the gingerbread one!! <3

Cheesy mugs. I can't stop buying them; it's a disease...

Ralph Lauren knits. Really cute and great quality, I've been loving their bear collection!!

Overnight curls. Keeps your hair healthy, is easy, AND looks cute?? AMAZING.

Books books books. Lots of ancient Greek stuff... kinda nerdy, lol...

Jello... I can't explain this one... I am literally addicted lmao

how do I want the world to see me, and does it match how I see myself?

how do I show up for others, and how do they show up for me?

what about my life feels like love and what doesn't?

where does my time go, and where do I wish it would go?

who do I admire most, and what about them speaks to my soul?

is the way I live aligned with the life I dream of, or a I just coasting?

what qualities in others feel the most magnetic to me? Do I reflect those?

what’s inside my bag, and what does it say about me? (be honest, even the gum wrappers count.)

if I could script my perfect morning, how would it begin?

what passions have I ignored that I would like to reclaim?

what’s one small, powerful shift I could make today to move toward my dream life?

write a tender letter to the future version of yourself. What do you hope they’ve become, and what do you want them to remember about now?

As always, please feel free to share your own prompts and check out my insta for more of me! <3

what you need

a messy notebook (I like the Leuchturm bullet ones)

a pen

a beverage for emotional support (or several <3)

how to get started

grab your notebook, and sit down in a quiet moment with enough time so you won't stress even more. The point of a brain dump is to unload all your thoughts, everything that is stressing you is put to paper. not aesthetically, no cutesy Pinterest vibes; we need it plain, unromanticised, and personal.

some prompts to get you going

do I have any deadlines coming up?

have I been making time for myself and my hobbies?

what projects, tasks, appointments, and/ or plans are currently stressing me out?

am I procrastinating anything?

am I properly looking after myself? (mental/physical health, skincare, hobbies, school/work, etc etc)

am I currently working through any challenges, and if yes how is that going so far?

how are my friends/relationships doing?

is there an area in my life that I should prioritise right now?

do I feel confident and comfortable at the moment?

Review and reflect

take some time and go over your writing; you can underline or highlight the points that you find most important. make this whole "brain dump" thing a routine; sometimes it takes a bit of writing until you actually get comfortable with putting your emotions onto paper (it sounds easier than it is..), but the more often you do this, the more comfortable you will get!! <3

As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and tips in the comments! <3

romaticise studying. rainy autumn nights were made for this. a dim lamp, rain pressing gently against the window, your handwriting sprawling across the pages. it doesn't matter if it's neat. the trick is to believe you're part of some story, the lonely student in some tower, reading while the world darkens outside.

leave the house sometimes. yes, it's cold, but crisp air can save your mind. the way streetlights glow in fog is reason enough to go outside. sometimes the best cure for autumn melancholy is just to walk until your cheeks burn and you feel alive again.

candles and fairy lights. no one survives autumn in a bare room. you need atmosphere: flickering shadows on the wall, the soft glow of lights draped clumsily but perfectly. your space should hum like a secret.

embrace the solitude. autumn isn't a group project. you can let yourself vanish a little; spend evenings buried in blankets, rereading the same book over and over again, replaying the same song until it feels like a prayer. solitude doesn't mean emptiness; in autumn, it feels like a secret you get to keep.

accept the melancholy. autumn is supposed to ache a little. don't fight it. make the sad playlist, write the unfinished poem, stare out the window longer than you should. sadness is softer in autumn, it can be beautiful if you let it.

part two of 'how to survive autumn without becoming feral' which could also simply read as 'how to not get depressed' haha

layer, don't suffer. autumn is not a season for stoicism. wear the big coat, wrap yourself in a scarf that could easily double as a blanket, let your sleeves swallow your hands. there is something romantic about being slightly hidden inside too many layers, like you're a mystery passing through the cold air.

walk everywhere. if the leaves are falling, you owe it to yourself to hear them crunch. take the long route home just to see how the streetlights catch on wet pavement. every walk is a small theatre piece when the world is turning golden and red around you.

hot drinks as a coping mechanism. it's not really about the coffee or tea; it's about the ritual. holding something warm so your soul doesn't leave your body. watching the steam curl in the cold air like poetry.

movies that feel like sweaters. dead poets society, for when you want inspiration to ache, when harry met sally, for the comfort of love wrapped in autumn leaves, little women, for that bittersweet warmth that feels like home and heartbreak at once.

read something dramatic. autumn is not the time for light paperbacks. it's for Brontë storms, Dostoevsky despair, Euripides wailing choruses. books that feel bigger than you, so when you close them, the silence of your room feels charged with meaning.

finally back with my usual tumblr posts right in time for the beginning of autumn hahah. <3

Step 1. Set Your Standards

Because if you don’t, the universe will send you men who text “wanna hang?” at 11:52 p.m.

Know what you want, even if it’s irrational. Tall, plays piano, Catholic guilt, looks good in black. Whatever. You’re allowed.

No chemistry? No deal. A good résumé means nothing if you feel nothing. You're trying to find love, you should feel something. A spark, a shiver, or a silly smile when he texts.

He should be a bit obsessed. Not restraining order obsessed, but “sent you a poem at midnight” obsessed.

“Busy” is a myth. If he wants to, he will. If he doesn’t, he won’t. There’s no mystery.

Step 2. Prepare Yourself

Not in a “fix yourself” way. In a “become so hot and self-possessed he can’t think straight” way.

Update your social media. Post hot pics, read pretentious books, quote Sappho. Let them suffer.

Romanticise your routines. The skincare, the gym, the getting ready playlist, it’s part of the charm.

Don’t try to be chill. Be passionate, a little dramatic, slightly impossible to forget. (we hate nonchalant here.)

Have a life. Not to impress him. To survive him. Join a class, go dancing, make art. Text your friends more than you text him. You need something to come home to if it falls apart.

Step 3. How to Actually Meet Guys

Yes, unfortunately, you do have to leave the house (or at least open your DMs).

Be online strategically. The story with the books, the wine glass, the dangerous neckline? Essential.

Go places alone. Cafés, galleries, vintage bookstores. Hot people live in those.

Talk first. Say something weird. Say something dry. Say anything at all. Most guys are just relieved. He won't think you're weird, and if he does, that's useful data. You don't want someone who's scared of a girl with opinions and a personality.

Mutual friends? Ask. Being set up is underrated. Just make sure it’s not someone who still says “epic.”

Step 4. Surviving the Talking Stage

Also known as: limbo, hell, emotional roulette.

Keep texting fun. You’re not here to conduct an interview.

Match his energy, then go slightly colder. Mystery keeps the plot alive.

Don’t over-invest. He’s cute, not a life plan. Don't build an entire narrative off a playlist and three emojis.

Pull back if needed. You’re not being “too much.” You’re being someone who doesn’t beg.

Step 5. Dating 101

Congratulations. You’ve made it to the main event. Don’t panic now.

Look stunning, obviously. Even if you’re just getting coffee. Especially then.

Ask good questions. The goal is connection and psychological evaluation.

Stay unpredictable. Be kind, funny, engaging, but also allow for some silent moments. It shouldn't feel awkward.

Know when to walk away. If it’s not fun, not flirty, and not fulfilling, you can go.

Step 6. Debrief & Detox

Even CIA operatives get to talk to someone after a mission.

Tell your friends everything. Especially the ridiculous parts. Especially the unhinged texts. Your group chat is sacred.

Let them reality-check you. They love you. They see the red flags when you’re busy romanticising the beige.

Don’t skip the closure. Even if the ending was awkward or slow-fade. Name it, process it, laugh about it. Then leave it.

Step 7. If It Works Out

Not every story ends in disaster. Sometimes it actually gets good.

Stay a little delusional. You still get to romanticise it all. That’s half the fun.

Keep your identity. Don’t fold into each other like laundry. Stay weird. Keep your rituals. Be your own person with someone.

Let yourself be happy. Not suspicious. Not waiting for it to crash. Just happy. Let it feel real. You don't have to apologise for being loved. You don't have to brace for impact. allow yourself to enjoy.

Still debrief with your friends. Even in love. Especially in love. They were there before, and they’ll be there after—if it ever comes to that.

And if none of this works? Post a blurry photo in your favourite outfit, listen to Norman Fucking Rockwell, and disappear for 48 hours.

lots of love (literally) to all of you and if anyone has a question or request feel free to submit it here -> <3