#askboot

Like when I moved out I tried to be like “this is a fresh start, I’m not gonna take care of anyone” but obviously I can’t just ignore people when they talk to me about their problems and honestly I’m not even really sure how to have friendships where I don’t take care of people? It’s just really annoying lol

Oof.

I think for me personally, an important revelation was that, by trying to support and protect and fix the problems of the people I cared for, I was sort of just…. Sort of just causing an atrophy around an emergent problem, and just overburdening myself while building up a bigger issue for them down the road.

My brother and my mom, for example, had a huge fight and went no-contact for several years at one point. And our mom was devastated, so of course I tried to mend the bridge.

But all that really did was turn me into a carrier pigeon while enabling her to avoid dealing with it. So eventually I had to tell her, “look. If you need to tell him something, do it yourself, because if the two of you can’t have a relationship without me, then maybe you just shouldn’t have a relationship.”

Lo and behold, within the year they were magically talking again.

So like… if you’re like me, and you can’t seem to care about anyone without becoming their helicopter mom, I recommend putting yourself into the mom mindset, and remind yourself that the end goal is for them to be able to support themselves when you’re not around.

If they are in immediate danger, do your best, but you can’t truly help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves, not every complaint is a request, and sometimes people just need to fuck things up for themselves in order to learn and grow.

Thank you so much for your ask!!!! I'm really happy that there are people who take an interest like this!!

Just to be clear upfront: I don't really like vomit itself that much. I hate stuff like irrumatio or being covered in puke. What really turns me on is the act of vomiting—the appearance, the breathing, the expressions. Real footage or audio is fine, but personally, I love vomiting scenes in movies and dramas the most.

It's not really tied to any specific "because it's Cats" setting. I just want to make the Cats characters vomit exactly the way my desires want.

For example: getting sick and throwing up, vomiting from stress, vomiting from trauma, drinking too much and throwing up… things like that.

Here are my favorite episodes, summarized briefly↓

Alonzo is working hard every day as Munkustrap’s right-hand man. But sometimes the stress piles up and he gets sick and vomits. Cassandra takes care of him there. Alonzo tries to act tough and tells Cassandra to leave him alone. But his retching sounds and vomiting won’t stop. Seeing the usually overachieving Alonzo become so weak and vulnerable, even the normally unflappable and cool Cassandra feels her chest tighten. Alonzo squeezes his eyes shut tightly and endures the stomach-turning sensation. Cassandra wipes away his sweat and stays by his side until the very end.

Late at night. Demeter was sleeping with Munkustrap. She has a nightmare about Macavity, wakes up with a start, and nausea surges up. She immediately twists her body and retches into the trash can. It doesn’t come out easily, and tears start flowing. Munkustrap hears the sound, jumps up, and gently rubs her back. Demeter keeps letting out sobs. She puts a finger in her mouth and finally vomits. She instinctively covers her mouth with her hand, getting it dirty with vomit. Munkustrap gently strokes her and says, “It’s okay, just vomit everything you need to.” Demeter’s tears won’t stop. She tries to say “sorry” and vomits again. Munkustrap keeps reassuring her with kind words: “You don’t need to apologize… I’ll protect you.” To Munkustrap, Demeter’s vomit is no big deal. He wipes the finger he had put in her mouth earlier and cleans her dirty hands with a cloth.

Tugger gets carried away partying in the night streets and drinks way too much. By the time he gets back to the junkyard he’s hungover. He vomits straight into the river—like a waterfall. He’s shocked at himself but can’t stop. Just then his girlfriend Bombalurina walks by. “Geez! Leave me alone already—you think you’re a patient or something!?” she snaps angrily. Tugger can’t say a word and just keeps vomiting. “Bombal… give me a towel…” he begs, but Bombalurina just laughs and ignores him.

Alonzo is kidnapped by Macavity during a night patrol. Macavity taunts him: “You really want to be held by a man, don’t you?” Alonzo resists violently but is grabbed by the henchmen and dragged to Macavity’s hideout. The place reeks of blood and the disgust hits him hard. Alonzo leans out the window and vomits. Macavity laughs and says, “I wanted to smear that puke all over you—why are you throwing up outside?” He shoves his finger into Alonzo’s mouth. Seeing Alonzo retch again makes Macavity happy. But only gastric juice and saliva come out, no actual vomit, which frustrates him.

Macavity actually loves scat play. He thinks forcing Alonzo to drink urine might excite him and make him vomit again. Alonzo resists; even when it’s forced into his mouth he immediately coughs and spits it out. What Macavity wants to see most is Alonzo masturbating while he vomits. Does vomiting turn him on enough to masturbate? Or does vomiting while masturbating give the ultimate pleasure? It all depends on Macavity’s mood. But in reality Alonzo hates vomiting, so Macavity’s dream might never come true… maybe.

(Actually I don’t really like scat and don’t know much about it. But check out the famous Japanese AV “Welcome to the Scat Restaurant.” It’s honestly really funny lol)

Mistoffelees keeps having days where his magic practice doesn’t go well. The most effective thing in those moments is supposedly masturbation. But Mistoffelees doesn’t have time for that. He can’t afford to escape into sexual desires. Mistoffelees is weak to pressure. Before big performances he always locks himself in the bathroom. It gets bad from both ends, apparently. Maybe it’s better to empty everything from his stomach and intestines so his body feels lighter and his movements get easier!?

Episodes I want to think about someday:

Junkyard group food poisoning, Tumble and Pouncival getting dizzy from doing too many acrobatics and vomiting, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer’s vomiting episode, Jennyanydots’ binge-purge vomiting from heartbreak over Skimbleshanks, Jemima’s poor health being cared for by Munkustrap and Demeter, Coricopat down after using too much magic, Electra causing Mistoffelees to vomit and then taking care of him, Exotica’s struggle to treat the whole junkyard… etc.

Sorry if you were hoping for more extreme stuff! I think I’m probably on the lighter side even among emetophiles.

I just tried it out! It’s so cool!! Thank you for recommending this to me hehe <3

When I was a suicidal 15 year old everyone told me “it gets better”, and it sounded like bullshit. And frankly, it still sounds like bullshit. Like oh, what, I’m living in hell and you’re not gonna help me or *do* anything or give me any useful advice and I’m supposed to just hang in there on the nebulous, pithy promise that things are just gonna work out on their own? And you can’t tell me how or why, I’m just supposed to take it on the faith that I don’t have that something might change in ways I haven’t considered?

But yeah. It does. And it’s frustrating as hell.

Yes, things are gonna get better, and they’re gonna get better in ways I can’t describe even after experiencing it myself. Things you don’t even know CAN be different WILL be different. One day you’re just going to step outside and realize things got better somewhere and you didn’t even notice it happening.

And there’s really nothing I can say that makes that sound even a little bit believable.

I’m. Actually going crazy rn I’m not concerned with her finding this cus at this point I’m convinced uhhh nothings gonna change i just ?? am baffled honestly

Oh that’s actually perfect one sec

Hey, if anyone is reading this who has a trans sibling

whether they’ve medically transitioned or not or even if they never plan to

I’d like to break the fourth wall right now to ask that you take this as a sign from God or the Universe or whatever to stop misgendering them

Yes, even if you think it’s a phase or an attention grab or a trend, or whatever you’re holding in your mind to make it feel okay to do

Because there is a nonzero possibility that this random blog you follow from whatever side of the planet is in theoretical support of your sibling kicking your ass

I guess I wanted to ask if you ever caught yourself thinking what if? What if he is in fact trying to gaslight you or someone else- why else would he say that? And, how healthy is that line of thinking? I don't think it's very healthy but I keep finding myself in this pattern of thinking, just trying to survive in a highly political first job

You know what, I DID on occasion suspect it was happening again, and as it’s kind of a personal cptsd trigger I DID have a couple embarrassing meltdowns over it, but at the end of the day I figured either his memory was bad or he had some personal issues I couldn’t account for, and decided to continue taking notes as normal and if it conflicted with his reality to treat him the same way I would someone experiencing psychosis

Which is. I guess when he said stuff that didn’t make sense- like that I had done something I was pretty sure I hadn’t- instead of spiralling down that “am I crazy” hole again, I’d say. Like. “I believe that you’re telling me what you remember but I genuinely can’t recall that”, or, “What I remember you saying was actually X”, or, “I think this might be a miscommunication- when I say X, how does that make you feel?/What does that make you think?/What does that mean to you?”.

Basically, like. Instead of saying “you’re gaslighting me” or “you have memory problems” or “you’re lying” I’d just. Verbally affirm that I understood what they were saying, reassure that I didn’t think it was false, and remain firm that my own experience or perspective on the matter was different from theirs. And if they felt like discussing it, I’d be happy to narrow down where exactly our perspectives diverged, and if they weren’t- well. In hindsight, he’d get angrier, which makes sense, but when he started getting accusatory or loud I’d just leave.

Like. I’d just ask him to lower his volume, or tell him his language felt unprofessional, or tell him I didn’t want to talk to him while he was acting combative and I’d take my break early so we could both calm down. I’d explain exactly what language was unfair and if he was flat-out saying things like “I don’t care” or “that’s stupid” then I’d point it out immediately as hurtful and unproductive.

That held the ship together long enough that we still OPERATED fairly well together, and I was mostly able to brush it off as a rough personality until he… exited… and it all came out.

Whoops?

When I was a kid I’d steal my bio dad’s jacket and wear it to bed. It smelled like his house (cigarettes) and helped me fall asleep. Maybe find a good smell with a positive association that works for you?

A hot shower or bath before bed can work wonders, especially in hot or cold weather.

Wash all your sheets and blankets, then make your bed with the proper sheet tucks and everything. Feels like staying at a fancy hotel for the night.

Make a playlist of your most relaxing music and play it so quiet you can barely hear it.

Find a podcast to listen to, or an old radio play. (I listen to MBMBAM because if I listen to a book or a mystery I get too invested in the plot lol)

Find a set of comfy pyjamas and ONLY wear them at bedtime. This one sounds weird but I find it helps me shift gears into rest mode.

Weighted blanket

Gentle fan

White noise

Orgasm

Meditation

Melatonin

180° horizontal rotation

Change locations and sleep in another room

Move the furniture in your bedroom

Open a window

Talk to your doctor. I personally am on a prescription now because I was always TIRED but never sleepy and needed something to knock me out.

Surround yourself with pillows or rolled-up blankets and towels so you have a bit of side pressure when you lay down.

Wear a heavy work jacket to bed

Change your diet and see if that helps (sugar used to put me out flat)

Let yourself be bored

Wear an eye mask

Plug in a night light

Turn off overhead lights and switch to lamps 1-3 hours before bed

Check out the thrift store for some blackout curtains