#ask:zana

"Like, dreaming dreaming? I take an anti-anxiety and it gives me the wildest dreams. They're like, super vivid, sometimes even lucid dreaming or night terrors, but once I wake up whatever it was is gone.

But like, daydreaming? Lately it's been about maybe going back and getting my masters in counseling or something so I could do art therapy? But I've also been thinking a lot about fostering and I wouldn't want to be in a rigorous program as a foster parent, so I'm trying to set the short, medium, and long term goals.

"It's obviously been hard in the dating scene here, whether it's the lack of candidates or just... How the world is, my biggest heartbreak was the betrayal I felt from my ex-husband.

Y'know this was someone that was supposed to be my person, and love me and respect me, and... Just... The way he changed so fast and the way it was so... Malicious how it all played out whether it was breaking down my confidence or isolating me or letting his family bully me, I have never felt so... Little. And then at the end of it all to not sign the papers and I had to beg for release from all of that?

"Lately How Do I Say Goodbye by Dean Lewis or Every Light In The House by Trace Adkins have been reminding me of my grandmother. I've been missing her terribly."

"Well," She laughs with a shake of the head. "If I had a love interest, I could tell you that." A pause as she stirs her drink with the straw, chewing on her lower lip for a moment. "I'm kind of assuming I'm being taught to be alone, I don't really foresee a lover in the future, though it would be nice... I think I would be really insecure about, like," She sighs. "How hard I love, and how sensitive I can be. Alex used to say I'm a crybaby or make fun of me so I think it's just trauma but..." She ends with a shrug. "Some people just aren't meant to be loved, I suppose."

"Ooo tough question! I go between Dahlia's, Baby's Breath and Sunflowers!"