On April 25th, 2018, I posted my very first post here on this blog. After having failed countless times of making ask blogs before in the past, I didn't expect to even get 20 followers. Now a year later, I have achieved 1,110 followers, posted 626 times, and befriended countless fans of DDLC. Inspired by Mod Sour's @ask-recovering-dokis blog and a DDLC comic I saw on deviantart, I created @ask-trashed-ddlc. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing or where I was going with the story, even my OCs were designed on the spot. But after looking back, I realised I could've done better, and that the story I had produced made no sense.
I ended up cringey at this blog and founded hard to continue the story I had started. Still, I pushed forward, thinking I could make it better, but then other factors came in and started intervening with my motivation to continue this blog. I tried very hard to continue this, but I just couldn't... I decided a long time ago that I would be ending this, but I didn't just want to quit out of the blue. Despite many long hiatuses, I wanted to end it with a proper ending, even if it had to be a bad one.
I will say this, in spite of all the cringe and disappointment I have for this blog, I still love it. It was my first blog that became a success, it was this blog that tumblr became my second most used social media, it was this blog that I was able to meet you guys. My fellow followers who I consider to be my friends, whether you're old or new, whether you have sent an ask or not, whether I remember you're username or even knew you were there, all of you are truly the greatest friends I could ever have.
My favourite parts of this blog has always been involving you guys (and not just as askers), that time when we had a tea party with the dokis, the Monika Protection Squad, the LGBT Power Club, that was fun XD. In fact, this whole blog had been fun. A part of me feels sad for ending it (especially like this), but as we all know, all good things must come to an end. Thank you for everything you have given me. Happy One Year Anniversary @ask-trashed-ddlc, and goodbye.
I know this may be over but @cupcakes-and-demons and @red-determined-souls are still on going despite me still being on a hiatus. You can also contact me on my personal blog @artsy-diamond-2004 if you wish to. Okay, bye for real.
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I don’t know how well I can replicate your style of writing, but I hope I do your beautiful story justice. Fair warning: it’s long.
Monika awoke with a start.
No, rather, she became aware that she was awake. She was standing, her arms wrapped around someone, tears streaming down her face onto their shoulder. She could tell the person was crying too.
She released the hug, backing away questioningly, to see that the person she had been hugging was Max. Her good eye went wide with shock, her body trembling.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Max asked, wiping tears from their eyes. As their vision came into focus, though, they caught the glint of an object, clutched in Monika’s hands.
“Monika... why do you have that...?” Max asked fearfully.
Monika looked down at the object clutched in her right hand: a knife.
Monika jolted, dropping the knife to the ground. She looked around, taking in her surroundings. It was the recycle bin, just like it was before...
“Monika, what’s going on? Why do you have a knife?” Max interrogated. “Did you... lure me out here to...”
Max couldn’t finish their sentence, as Monika grabbed them by the shoulders.
“R̸҉̡͝u͘͢ǹ̶͠.̴͟͞.̷͞.̀͠” Monika managed to say through her broken voice.
She then twisted, hurling Max behind her as she dropped to her knees, clutching her head.
Monika screamed out in her glitched voice, a presence invading her mind from every angle. Max looked back in horror at the scene.
“Max!” A voice called from behind them. Max turned to see the Natsuki, Yuri, and the Recovery world’s Monika approaching.
“I heard... screaming, I think? What’s going on!?” R!Monika asked.
“I-I don’t know! One minute Monika had a knife, and the next thing I know, I think she told me to run, and then ended up like this!” Max hastily explained.
R!Monika turned to T!Monika worriedly, cautiously approaching. T!Monika had since fallen silent, hunched over and trembling.
“Monika, be careful!” Max shouted.
“Moni...? Hey, are you alright...” R!Monika asked.
A quiet, yet unsettling laughter was her only response.
“M-Monika?” R!Monika said cautiously.
“M̴̨̛͢O̷̶͢͢V҉͟͟͞͠E̷̢!̵̶̢͟” T!Monika suddenly screamed, and almost in the same moment, turned around, taking a swing at R!Monika.
“Wah!” R!Monika shouted, jumping backwards just in time to avoid a slash from the knife.
Finally, the group could see T!Monika’s face: Her beautiful emerald eyes faded and pale, her mouth contorted into a hideous, wicked grin.
“Would you just stop fighting already?” T!Monika said, her voice silky and venomous.
“M-Monika!?” T!Natsuki asked, shocked by hearing her voice, however distorted, after so long.
“You think because those pathetic little entities from outside our narrative took pity on you and turned back the clock, that means you can avoid the same result?” T!Monika, or whatever was inside her, spat.
“Yuri, what’s happening!?” T!Natsuki asked. “What’s wrong with Monika!? Why can she talk again!?”
T!Yuri stared daggers into the possessed T!Monika. “That isn’t Monika. Not right now, anyway.” She said gravely.
“W-What do you mean!?” T!Natsuki asked fearfully.
Yuri moved quickly, pulling Max up from the ground, and leading them back over to T!Natsuki.
“Cupcake, take Max back to the others, and get as far away as possible. Tell them our Monika isn’t herself anymore.” T!Yuri said quickly.
“W-What are you gonna do!?” T!Natsuki asked.
“The other Monika and I will buy you as much time as we can.” T!Yuri said.
“B-But-!” T!Natsuki started.
T!Yuri placed a kiss on Natsuki’s forehead.
“I love you Natsuki.” Yuri said with a smile. “Remember that.”
She then turned to T!Monika. “Now go.”
Natsuki hesitated, before grabbing Max by the shirt and turning to run.
“You can’t save her from me, you know that.” T!Monika said coldly.
“I can try.” T!Yuri said defiantly, looking to R!Monika.
“She’s still in there, Yuri. She warned me.” R!Monika said.
T!Yuri nodded. “Then we’ll just have to beat that thing out of her.” She said.
T!Monika grinned wickedly. “I’d like to see you try.”
T!Sayori shuffled around worriedly, the other girls from the Recovery world sitting nearby.
“R!M should be back with the others by now.” She pondered aloud. “I wonder what’s keeping them.”
“Sayori!” T!Natsuki’s voice rang out.
T!Sayori turned to the direction of her voice, seeing Natsuki and Max approaching rapidly. “Natsuki? What happened?” She asked.
“Are you ok? Where’s Yuri and R!M? Did you find Moni?” T!Sayori asked in quick succession.
“We have to get out of here.” T!Natsuki said, red tears in her absent eyes.
T!Yuri staggered, her arm covered in cuts. The first fresh wounds she’d received since the arrived in the recycle bin. R!Monika stood beside her, her own condition not much better.
“You sure know how to put up a fight, don’t you?” T!Monika said, panting, sporting several cuts of her own.
“I’m just glad the askers gave me some of my knives back.” T!Yuri said defiantly.
“Yuri...” R!Monika said in a low voice. “We’re not making it out of this, are we?”
“If we die, we have to take her with us...” T!Yuri said. “We can’t let that thing inside her hurt our friends.”
“What is inside her, anyway?” R!Monika asked.
“I don’t know exactly...” T!Yuri said. “I think it might have been inside of me at one point, but it’s clearly moved on to our Monika now.”
“If it can just hop from person to person, won’t she just possess someone else even if we do beat her?” R!Monika asked gravely.
“Well well, you figured it out.” T!Monika said spitefully. “This is a fight you can’t win, no matter what you do.”
T!Yuri smirked, however.
“Something funny?” T!Monika asked.
“It’s just... if you can really jump from person to person like that, why haven’t you possessed someone in better condition already?” T!Yuri asked.
T!Monika scowled, not answering.
T!Yuri nodded in satisfaction. “As I thought, you can’t...” She said, then got a determined look on her face. “Because our Monika is holding you inside her body!”
T!Monika grit her teeth. “Pathetic. Even if I can’t jump out of her right now, I’m still more than strong enough to kill you two, and move on.” She said. “You’re merely delaying the inevitable. I always get what I want.”
“We’ll see about that...” T!Yuri said.
“We can’t just leave our friends, Natsuki!” T!Sayori protested.
“Yeah! Well, Yuri didn’t just risk her life fighting that thing for us to go back there!” Natsuki retorted.
“We need to make a decision, girls!” Max said desperately. “Yuri and Monika are fighting that thing as we speak, so if we’re going back, we need to now!”
“Didn’t you hear that asker!? You’re the key to this somehow! We need to keep you safe!” Natsuki shouted.
“Guys! Come on! Quit fighting!” R!Yuri said, trying to reign everyone in.
“I don’t care!” Max shouted back. “I already left you girls for dead once, I won’t do it again!”
With that, Max turned and started sprinting back the way they’d come.
“Max you idiot!” Natsuki shouted after him. She hesitated for a moment, then stomped her foot, and ran after Max. “Damn it, wait for me!”
“Come on, girls! We have to save our friends!” T!Sayori shouted, as the remaining girls took off after Max and Natsuki.
“Shall we end this?” T!Monika asked, looming over T!Yuri and R!Monika.
T!Yuri looked up, her vision blurry from blood loss.
“For what it’s worth, you fought well.” T!Monika said sadistically. “But you’ve wasted enough of my time.”
“As long as Max is alive... we still have a chance... to win...” T!Yuri struggled.
“Max will be dead with the rest soon enough.” T!Monika said, raising her knife.
“Try me, bitch!”
T!Monika suddenly collapsed past T!Yuri, falling to the ground.
“Gah!” T!Monika cried out angrily.
T!Yuri looked up, seeing Max, holding an old Vine meme, which they had apparently beat T!Monika over the head with.
“What do you know, memes have a use after all.” Max said, tossing the recycled object aside.
“What are you doing here!?” R!Monika asked.
“Saving your butts.” Max said, helping R!Monika to her feet and away from the downed T!Monika. T!Natsuki quickly attended to her girlfriend.
“Cupcake... you were supposed to escape...” T!Yuri said deliriously.
“Yeah, well Max picked now of all times to be a hero.” T!Natsuki said. “Besides, I don’t want to see you dead on the ground a second time...”
T!Sayori and the others arrived shortly after.
“D-Did we make it in time!?” She asked.
“Yeah, we got them.” Max said, T!Sayori sighing with relief.
Everyone’s blood ran cold, however, as a wicked, mad laugh erupted from the prone form of T!Monika.
“Well well, you saved me the trouble of tracking you down.” She said, rising to her feet, knife in hand.
Everyone stood defensively, as T!Monika grinned at them.
“Get out of our friend, whoever you are!” T!Sayori shouted.
“I would love to, but she seems quite fond of me.” T!Monika mocked. “She’s holding desperately onto me so I can’t escape.”
“Just give up! We have you outnumbered!” T!Natsuki shouted.
“So what if you do? What are you going to do if I refuse?” T!Monika asked. “Will you kill your friend to stop me? That would only set me free!”
“Why are you even doing this!? Didn’t they suffer enough in the game!?” Max shouted.
“You don’t need to know why.” T!Monika said coldly. “Especially since you’re about to be dead!”
T!Monika suddenly charged at the group, taking them off-guard.
As T!Monika reached Max, however, she opened her hand, dropping the knife.
“W-What are you-!?” T!Monika began, only to make contact with Max, who suddenly vanished.
“Max!?” T!Sayori shouted in alarm.
“What did you do to them!?” T!Natsuki shouted, having seen Max’s blur vanish.
Max awoke with a start in their own room. They sat up quickly, looking around.
“Was it... all just a dream?” Max asked aloud.
Max jolted at the voice in their head, then sighed.
“Right, because anything goes these days. I’ll take your word for it.” They said, standing up.
Their eyes then lit up, and they rushed to their computer, opening their recycle bin.
“Man, I hope this works...” Max mumbled, moving their mouse over T!Yuri’s file.
Suddenly, T!Yuri vanished. Everyone’s eyes, even T!Monika’s, widened in shock.
“Y-Yuri!? Where are you!? Where’d you go!?” T!Natsuki shouted in panic.
“What are they doing!?” T!Monika asked angrily.
Suddenly, R!Monika disappeared as well, followed by the other girls from the Recovery world.
“Are they... restoring their files!?” T!Monika asked in shock. “No! I won’t allow it!”
However, before anything could happen, T!Monika fell to her knees, seemingly unable to move.
“Y̨͢͝ò̀͟u͏͘͟͝.̸̧́̕.̶̡.̴͠ ̷͞l̢͡o̷̢͟͡s͢͏̴́e̕͏͡.̶̧͠.̛̕͢͡.̴̴̷͘͢” T!Monika said, her eyes brightening a little.
T!Sayori’s eyes lit up. “M-Monika!? Is that you!?” She asked desperately, T!Natsuki vanishing next.
T!Monika looked up at T!Sayori, tears forming in her eyes.
“T͟͏͘͞ḩ̴̸a̸̵̴̷n̶̨̕͘͜k̵̵̷̶ ̡̀́͘ỳ̵̧͟o̕͟u̧̨͡҉.̨̀́͠.͏̢́.̵̵̀͞ ́҉̷͠f͏̨̨͞o͞͏̸̀͜r͢͡ ́͢b̶̸̨́͜ȩ̷i҉̧̛͠͠n̨͜g̡͘͟͞͞ ҉̛͞m̢̛y͏̵ ͜͝f̵͘r̶̨͢͝į̡̛҉͝e̵̡̕͜ņ̢d́́̀͡s̢̧̛͜.̵̡͞͠.̴̢͜.̀͞͠͝” She struggled to say. “G̵͢o͠҉̕͡ò̢d̢̧͘͢͢b̛y̶̨͜è͟҉.̶͟.͡҉.̸̷͢͟”
“W-What!?” T!Sayori asked in shock. “What do you mean g-”
And then, T!Sayori vanished, and Monika was alone.
“Hehehehehe...” Monika laughed to herself. “Honestly, do you think this will stop me? I’ll escape once that fool restores your file, and then this will all start all over again.”
Her eyes lit up in terror. “W-What!?” She shouted.
“Alright, that’s all but Monika.” Max said to themself. “I hope just dragging them out of the recycle bin is alright. I don’t exactly have a game folder to put them in anymore...”
Max moved their mouse cursor over Monika’s file, preparing to move it as well, when a popup message appeared on the screen.
[No.]
Max looked at it, puzzled. Another popup appeared over the first one.
[She’s still inside me. There’s only one way to get rid of her.]
Max’s mouth fell agape.
“Monika, no! I can’t just-!”
[I know you probably don’t want to, after everything, but please. It’s the only way to keep my friends safe.]
“Monika...”
[Let me save them one last time...]
Tears formed in Max’s eyes. Taking a deep breath, they pushed the “Ok” button on the last popup.
[Thank you.]
Suddenly, a familiar sensation took hold in Monika’s body. A burning that encroached up her arm and across her body, as her very being was torn apart.
“Are you insane!? You’re going to die here too!” Monika shouted.
Tears flowed from her good eye, and she smiled.
“No! Let me out!” Monika screamed. “Let! Me! Out!”
Monika finally relaxed, as her body began to dissipate.
Finally, after everything, she forgave herself.
Tears flowed down Max’s face, as the recycle bin finished emptying. Their arms slipped from their desk down to their sides, as they silently cried.
“I-I’m sorry...” They said.
Max took a few days to recover emotionally, so they could figure out what to do next. They hated to leave the girls stranded in whatever the folder they put them in looked like, but they knew they needed to think straight to put the pieces back together.
When they finally did return to their computer, they found a folder and text document open.
[This is our last gift to you, Max. You won’t have to put up with us random voices in your head anymore. I figured you could use a break from the moral quandaries, so I made sure to keep the .chr’s that originally lived in this Literature Club safe and sound with me.
I’m sorry about Monika.
Sincerely, the Askers]
Checking the folder, Max found that it was a copy of Doki Doki Literature Club, that indeed had no files in the characters folder.
Tears came to their eyes again, for what seemed like the thousandth time that week, as they opened the folder where they had moved the girls’ .chr files.
Sayori opened her eyes to the soft glow of sunlight through a window. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up, and looked around her environment. The Literature Club, just as she remembered it.
Her eyes widened in shock as she stood from her desk, almost tangling herself in it as she did.
T!Sayori turned slowly, her friends coming into view before her. Her eyes slowly lit up, a joyous smile on her face. All of her friends, the ones from her world, and the ones from the Recovery world as well, were sitting around a cluster of desks, eating cupcakes and drinking tea.
“Sorry we didn’t wake you, we figured you might want to sleep in after all that.” T!Yuri said with a smile.
“Guys!” She screamed, running over to them and latching onto the first person she could get her arms around, which happened to be herself.
“Whoa, hey, take it easy, me!” R!Sayori laughed.
“I-I can’t believe it, you’re all here! Max did it!” Sayori cheered. However, everybody else’s faces fell.
T!Sayori looked around at their downcast expressions. “W-What is it?” She asked.
“We’re not... all here...” Natsuki said sadly, tears coming to her eyes. Everyone else wore similar grief-stricken expressions.
T!Sayori immediately did a head count, coming up one short. A pit formed in her stomach, as one word echoed through her mind.
“Goodbye...”
“Where’s our Monika...?” Sayori asked, her voice cracking.
“She... never appeared.” R!Monika said sadly.
“Max left this in the game files.” She continued, handing T!Sayori a document. “We think this is a modded version of the game, since they seem to be able to drop things into it for us...”
T!Sayori took the document, tears welling up as she looked at it.
[Nothing I say can make this alright, but I know you need to know. Monika had to hold that thing inside her while I deleted the recycle bin for us to get rid of it. After everything I already did, and now this, I wouldn’t blame you if you never forgive me. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself. Just know that she wanted to save you, no matter what.
I’m so sorry...]
T!Sayori stared at the page for the longest time, before it slipped from her hands.
“Sayori, I’m so sorry...” R!Monika tried to comfort.
“Just before I got pulled out...” T!Sayori said, sobbing. “S-She said... ‘thank you for being my friends’...”
T!Natsuki finally broke down, T!Yuri holding her tightly, her own eyes overrun with tears. The girls from the Recovery world also shared a moment of silent mourning.
R!Monika approached T!Sayori, gently placing her into a hug.
“You know, I think you must have made her really happy.” R!Monika said, herself crying. “She was me, after all. I think you made her the happiest she’s ever been...”
T!Sayori hugged her back, letting her emotions out.
Eventually, the two separated, and T!Sayori sat back down at a desk, unable to continue standing as she was.
T!Natsuki, wiping tears from her eyes, brought her a cupcake. T!Yuri followed behind with a cup of tea.
T!Sayori stared at them for a long moment, before lifting the teacup.
“You’ll always be our friend, Monika.” She said, voice cracking again. “I promise, we’ll never forget you, ever...”
The other members of the Literature Club, Trashed and Recovered alike, raised their own teacups.
“Thank you, Monika... for being our friend...”
Well, there we go. And I didn’t even cry once while writing this that’s a lie you big baby.
Full disclosure, I’m the anon who was devastated by the ending. I actually found your blog and started reading it right when the whole ending thing started to go down, and it kind of punched me in the gut.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. I guess I am a lot like Sayori, because I can’t seem to write anything without it turning out bittersweet. I hope you find it an acceptable ending for your story.
Time for some facts about Ask-Trashed-DDLC’s Monika!
-Fact 1: Pretty much half her body is scarred with actually scars and glitches.
-Fact 2: The glitch on Monika’s left eye however is purposefully put up by Monika herself to hide her missing eye.
-Fact 3: When she tries to talk, only a glitchy static noise could be heard, making her actually unable to speak.
-Fact 4: No one, and I mean NO ONE knows about this.
-The other dokis think that the glitch on her eye is a permanent effect and that behind the glitch, Monika’s eye is still there.
-They think she is still able to talk but just chooses not to.
-They are unaware of her scars and do not know about the “incident”.
I probably won’t reveal this “incident” until much later. But I’ll say this: Someone long ago had asked something before and Sayori replied with something that wasn’t entirely true. She doesn’t know this because she wasn’t there when it happened.
((EDIT: I just realised I forgot to put scars on her leg, just imagine some at the bottom left of it, ok?))
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