#ask phi

So. Um. I get you. I'm not exactly a super duper fan of his wicked training era either but… the outfits are WOOOOF WOOOOOF

OOOF BREEDING KINK OK. OK!!!! I genuinely never thought about it with them, so sorry if this sounds a bit fucke up, but #hear me out

Hotch probably has it, but doesn't talk about it because he doesn't even realize it's a thing. Or that it's... like... how to say. Allowed. It's very much a lmao I thought everyone kind of thinks that too situation. He'd probably hear the term, associate it with the kind of extreme fetishes he's seen in case files, and immediately dismiss it as something people only confess to during interrogations lmaooooooo

It wouldn't even occur to him that it could be normal that it could belong to the realm of intimacy rather than pathology. So it's not that he's repressed about it, he's just... completely unaware he's allowed to want something like that (does it make sense??)

It's more of a 'so I have a secret...' kind of energy that never fully makes it to the surface. He's sexually illiterate and painfully vanilla, but more like in a nobody ever told me I could explore this way. He'd probably think the appeal comes from some primitive need for closeness or permanence, and he'd rationalize it to death before he ever calls it a kink.

On the other hand, if she has it, it's her biggest secret. The one she'd never ever tell him (especially not sober) because she knows what it implies. Because of that slight dom/sub undercurrent that sneaks into it, the way it's about power as much as it's about trust. She'd rather swallow the thought than risk him misunderstanding it, thinking it's literally about wanting to get pregnant with his hyper-organized, rule-abiding, FBI-certified offspring

And yet, he'd probably notice eventually. He always does. #Profiler. She's too much of an open book around him, and he's too attuned to her shifts... sooooooooo...

But still. She'd never admit it. Not out loud. Maybe.

MAAAAAN this is hard! You have to factor in a lot… and depending on how you headcanon his parents, that can shift things, but the baseline, in my opinion, is that no matter what, he grows up with the persistent belief that: he is only as good as his last achievement and that he is never enough.

That sense of duty he carries as an adult starts in school. School becomes the obligation. He treats studying like performance, and if he doesn’t meet (or exceed) his usual standard, he feels guilty, like he’s let everyone down. Because if he’s not achieving, then what is he, exactly?

No one (and probably not even himself) ever really sees him as a person, so he fills every second. He’s always busy. Clubs, committees, anything that justifies staying out of the house a little longer. He probably does his homework in his school library.

He always knew he was going to end up in law because, again, that is his duty. So he starts early. And he reframes it as a kind of blessing: this is the one stage where he’s allowed not to be perfect and where mistakes are still (kind of) permissible. If he puts in the work now, if he studies enough, gets ahead, eliminates every gap… then by the time it actually matters, he won’t make mistakes.

He’s competitive, but he is not a showoff.

It also never really translates into team sports because failure is public and shared. He’ll participate just to blend in if he really has to, maybe even working out lineups with coaches, but he’ll always prefer individual disciplines because, at the end of the day, he cannot control what others do or feel.

He doesn’t try new things. Trying something new means risking being bad at it, and why risk that when he can simply avoid it?

Friend to many, best friend to none. He knows everyone, but give it a few weeks without contact and it’s like he’s back to square one. So he narrows it down and keeps it manageable.

Romantic connections are… off the table. Not until he’s certain he can be exactly what the other person would need. Not until he can provide. There’s this voice in his head that keeps insisting that love is something you earn after you can sustain a family.

For fuck’s sake, he’s just a teenager!!! But what if they need him?

The problem is, the second he feels like he’s failed, the whole structure collapses. Which is ironic, because it happens all the time, because in his mind he could always have done more. There’s always something missing.

He wants attention but the moment it’s on him, he pulls away.

He starts smoking more to blend in rather than as a mere act of rebellion. To test something, too. To see if anyone notices. If his parents care enough to stop him. They probably don’t. Or at least, not in the way he needs.

He outgrows the religion his mother raised him with, or maybe he just thinks too much and became too analytical to believe in it the same way. Either way, the faith is gone. But he still goes to church because it makes her happy, because not going would feel like failure. But without belief, it all feels hollow. So he replaces it.

Obviously, his and Haley's marital house was out after everything but the same apartment he got stabbed in is wild to me and to then to Jack who was held hostage by the guy who stabbed Hotch by the dining table? I get if it was for security with less points of direct entry but Foyet got in??? Is there a garden or green space for Jack to play in? Does Hotch do a background check on all new tenants?

Anyway, this is not anti-apartment slander because I happily live in one myself but I'm so interested in why Hotch would since he clearly has the means (Rolex watches are not cheap lmao) and this feels like the right platform to discuss it haha what do you think?

Breaking down Hotch's apartment layout until someone from Criminal Minds slides into my DMs with the damn floorplans: (The Empire Strikes Back)

I’ve thought about this a lot (maybe too much) and I honestly believe Hotch stayed in that apartment building for a mix of reasons. It’s not just one thing. Maybe one factor weighed heavier than the others, but ultimately, I picture him doing one of those classic pros and cons lists, like the fussy man he is, and letting the whole picture guide the decision... does it make sense??

Now, if we look at the architectural typology of his building, we know it follows a comb-plan layout - meaning it features two semi-enclosed, semi-public green spaces that are open toward the street. (I even made a little sketch to visualize it because I’m a visual learner... Like, I don’t know what “Hotch’s hands” means until I see them. Someone please send references...pls???)

That said, the green spaces aren’t the reason he stayed. Sure, the building has them, but they’re likely shared among all tenants, mostly decorative, and maybe even off-limits in terms of actual use (some buildings do that.. yikes). Plus, they’re super open to the street, which means they’re not really safe or private enough for Jack to play in.

So I don’t think the green spaces themselves were the selling point.

I think he stayed because of the overall architectural quality of the building. It's a historic structure (from mid 1920s-1930s??) that’s been carefully restored, updated with 21st-century systems and amenities, and built with high-quality materials and finishes. Maybe there’s a park nearby where Jack can actually play safely. Maybe it’s closer to his school. It also doesn’t strike me as a suburban area, which could be another plus - city life offers access to public transportation, shops, cultural spaces, sports activities… all of which might've played into the decision.

Top 5 Hotch’s looks my love 🫵🏻🩷

AAAAA ALI THIS IS SO EVIL

(all of them. In my mouth pls. Need to bite them bf I can rank them properly.)

Sooo! Hotch looks!

Snowhite starts crying

S7 finale forearms

BEARD HOTCH!!!!!1 BEARD HOTCH CAN TO- to...tofu me

10X20 BOOBIESSSSSSS

OH LORD. I don't even know how to name this. The reason why I started the fleabag!reader series.

Oh anon, you're sooo right... I should tooootally delete my whole account rn. Why am I even here, wasting my creative juices on that dried up prune of a constipated unit chief...