#ask lilina

It was nice to see Cecilia again, it really was. After seeing so many good men betray her, and her father, seeing a familiar face that wasn’t out to kill her, was a blessing in disguise. 

She wants to smile, shrug off the concern and tell her it’s okay, don’t worry, he fought bravely and true, it was a fast clean death. But it wouldn’t come out. She stood there, looking down and away from her teacher and trying to struggle and find the words to reply to her. 

“It.. it’s okay Cecilia. He.. he died with honor.” Her voice is shaky, eyes burning from tears and throat aching from trying to hold it all back. Her head hurt, she was tired and all she had wanted was to cry..  let it all out on her own and grieve him. However, it doesn’t work, and she shakes her head.

“It wasn’t fast. I saw everything before they.. took me. The blood was everywhere, and Father was staring at me..” As she talks, Lilina starts to notice the tears falling down her face, fast and relentlessly. She can’t stop them, even as she puts her hands to her eyes, balling them up and pressing down, they don’t stop. Her smile is gone, and she’s crying as she sees those eyes in her head, staring at her.

“I’m sorry I- I don’t want to cry.. I just..” want him back. She just wants to see him smile and  to hold her, to tell her this was all just an awful dream. 

“

“Oh well I uh-” Lilina felt embarrassed she left that out in the open for anyone to poke in and see- let alone.. well, someone like her father. He hadn’t seen much of it but, just enough to see a photo of him, her mother, and herself as a baby that she carried with her.

✿ = buying them flowers .

The Day of Devotion.. throughout Lycia, people celebrated their beloved and the people in their lives they loved with all their hearts. In both Elibe, and Ostia, thousands of people gathered in festivities to celebrate the wondrous holiday. Treats, snacks… games and music with dancing and laughter. Lilina loved it, and despite being the Princess, the next heir to her father’s lofty position as Marquess, she still loved being apart of the games and fun.

She walked eagerly with her father, wearing a beautiful silk dress with red coloring, one of her favorites adorned with white lace. “Come quickly Father! There’s a apple sweets cart over here!” She pulled him along, eagerly with a large smile on her face. “Hold on,” Hector finally piped up through his own smile, calling his sweet girl to him while he stopped at a particular stall that sold flowers. Lilina was far too caught up in everything else, she didn’t hear the transaction, but suddenly, felt the weight of something in her hair.

“I’m fine Roy, I promise.” She’s distant though, like she’s built a wall between herself and the rest of the world. The way she’s holding herself... together, to keep from falling to pieces.

Lilina is so caught up in her thoughts, she doesn’t even know Roy has already climbed that wall, and wraps his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. She comes back to reality, suddenly grounded and able to breath. Her hands come up, clinging to her friend, holding him as tightly as she can. This is familiar.. it reminds her of childhood, when they’d hug each other more often than now.

To Lilina, family is everything. 

Even years after, she feels the effects of her father’s and mother’s deaths and still honors his memory in every word and action. There’s a small table of the castle in the more private areas, where she keeps photos of them both, candles, and some of their favorite things in life

Lilina handles loss very well considering. In the face of death, or defeat in battle she holds herself together, keeping it in until she’s alone and can cry herself to sleep, or just find solice in herself and memories. Often she suppresses her feelings, and doesn’t give herself time to grieve or mourn loss properly. 

Seeing her father so young, at first it was as if she saw a ghost. Lilina paled at the sight of him, and avoided her father- no.. Lord Hector all together. This time, she was careful to hold in her emotions, and try and keep a composed face. After all, she was the Maquess of Ostia in her own time, and needed to be strong in the face of any adversity, even if it was her own father.

So she smiles brightly hiding her pain behind the wall she’s managed to build since coming to Askr.

“Yes.. I am from Ostia.” Despite her heart pulling, aching for his touch.. a hug from her father, she holds steady, replying without even a stutter.