#ask everything

Abel walks around like he's God's gentlest cowboy, but he'd rather bleed out than let anyone help him with anything. It's exhausting. No one cares.

Airyn thinks silence is power, but it's honestly so pretentious. She just does it because she doesn't have enough of a personality.

Amir delivers compliments like he's doing charity work. He's not nice. He's just emotionally clingy.

Arma acts like any whiff of steam is a blaze and somehow still wonders why everyone's tired of her.

Artt talks like a statue come to life and he still manages to make everything about him. He doesn't love the world. He loves hearing himself talk.

Barry Styles is so obsessed with makeup. It doesn't make him prettier. He's just so fake.

Bathsheba is obsessed with belonging anywhere but the sidelines. Unfortunately, that's where she will always belong.

Beau adventures because she can't accept the fact that she just belongs in the recycling bin.

Ben-Hwa uses sexuality as a shield because they have no other personality besides that. Poor thing.

Betty's warmth shouldn't be mistaken for anything but performance. She puts on a show because she knows no one would love her otherwise.

Beverly is barely a person. She's a distraction in a fancy cocktail glass. And the hangover always hits.

Bobby wants to seem dangerous, but they're not. They're just petty. They're as dangerous as a raccoon digging through trash cans.

Bodhi needs to get it through his head and that nostalgia isn't a personality. It's a filter.

Cabrizzio acts all charming, but it doesn't last. He steals his entire personality from movies because really...he's not that interesting. At all.

Cam is just heartbreak personified with a chip on his shoulder. It's honestly sad. He's like a kicked puppy. Pathetic.

Captain Jacques Pierrot acts like he commands a fleet, but at most it's a paddle boat and a lot of hot air.

Celia runs the house like it's Versailles, but she forgets that even queens can be overthrown. Her head will be in a basket one day.

Chairemi may be a good performer, but that's all she is. She needs to be playing a character because she has no personality otherwise.

Chance hides in fantasy land because his real life isn't interesting enough. He's nothing but a delusional nerd.

Connie fights like it's her one chance to be remembered. She's just broken and irrelevant.

Curt and Rod are a bad joke no one really asked for. It's honestly sad, the way they can't communicate without insulting people. Throwing shade isn't a personality.

D a E mON IS nothing BUT a BuG whO NeeEds to Be SquaSHEd.

Daisuke isn't mysterious. He's emotionally Tupperware. Sealed too tight and somehow still full of leftovers.

Dante is friendly, but it's all a coverup for insecurity. I mean, did you see how oblivious he was to Daisuke. Vom.

Dasha could probably lift the world on her shoulders, but she crumples the moment she gets any kind of attention. Sad, tbh.

Diana's less like Alice and more like wonderland. Disorienting, scary, and probably full of teeth. Go to therapy. Don't rely on everyone else to fix your lack of sense of self.

Dirk needs to learn that laundry day is a basic human necessity, not a holiday. Being dirty all the time is not endearing. It's just kind of gross.

Dishy should be...self explanatory. I'm honestly scared of that...thing.

Dolly assumes everyone likes her for her looks, but I don't think there's enough there to really make that assumption. Modeling doesn't mean you're hot, honey.

Dorian defends friendship so much because he thinks he doesn't deserve love. And honestly, he's right.

Doug is a human car crash. His insults aren't even funny, either. He just makes me kind of sad. Not about myself, but for him. Must be hard existing as something no one likes.

Drysdale is a flirt only because he thinks that the moment he stops being a hoe, all of the attention will shift away from him.

Dunk is so obsessed with sports because he has no personality otherwise. And no, badminton doesn't count as a personality trait.

Eddie is literally so emo. And Volt is just scary dog privilege. Which, is sad, seeing as Volt isn't even that scary.

Fantina doesn't have a personality besides obsessing over others. She steals other people's personalities just because she can't even gain her own.

Farya is so eager to experiment on people. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd knock someone out and cut them open just to study. Little scary.

Florence let's people walk all over her. Literally. She's so spineless, it replaces any semblance of a personality she might have.

Freddy wants to hide it, but it's clear what he really is. A monster. I won't be surprised if someone turns up mauled or something.

Friar Errol...he's been gone for 5 days, and honestly, the house is far better for it.

Gaia talks so much about traveling, but she's never left the house. And she's not even good enough at talking to people to know anything about...well, anywhere.

The Hanks are allergic to reading. Literally. Last time I saw one of them pick up a book, they gagged. Even Hank 2 is a writer...not a reader. And I don't think Hank 4 or Kevin or whatever can even read.

Harper uses her trauma as an excuse to be one of the most toxic people I know. She doesn't have a personality outside of being a bitch.

Hector is insecure for good reason. I can't imagine why anyone would like...that. And the persona he puts up to defend himself is even worse, honestly. That whole stalker thing gets old quick.

Hoove is a great example of why 'I Can Fix Him' doesn't work. His whole thing is being a vacuum. He doesn't want anyone to help him with anything. It's just annoying.

Hero-Hime might not be your stereotypical anime girl, but she's every girl in a sports anime ever. She'll never be the tennistar or... whatever the whole plot of her show is.

Holly won't help herself to the point where it's like she wants to be burnt out and overworked. She's honestly so annoying that I don't really care.

Ronaldini or whatever will never be a real magician. Did you know that he's from Montreal? That's not even like. A mysterious magical place. It's just Canada. French Canada too. Even worse.

Jean Loo is French. Enough said. He's full of crap. Literally.

Jerry...what is there to say that isn't self explanatory? He smells like moth balls, and he looks like them too.

Johnny Splash has made his whole personality being an Elvis rip off, which is honestly sad, seeing as he can't sing at all.

Keith is old as hell and yet has gained 0 wisdom over his years. Plus, that grey hair really doesn't work for him.

Keyes is such a diva, but she really doesn't deserve to be. She's only ever composed one thing, and to be so honest, I lot the plot.

Koa needs to learn that being lazy isn't a personality trait. Neither is sleeping.

Kopi, no one wants to hear you infodump about coffee. Honestly, it's a wonder you're staying in business. Roofbucks is better.

Kristof is far too obsessed with violence. Not everyone wants to battle. Very few people do, actually.

Lady Memoria needs to learn that nostalgia isn't a personality. At least her dog is cute.

Lucinda Lavish is insecure and she makes it everyone else's problem. She always shows up when you want her the least. Which is always.

Luke Nukem's delusions are honestly a little concerning. I'm surprised the house hasn't burned down yet.

Lux is the nastiest skank bitch I have ever met. Do not trust them, they are a fugly cow.

Lyric's writing really isn't anything to write home about. Which is honestly sad, considering they're the spirit of literature or whatever.

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For a detective, Maggie can't even solve the mystery of why no one likes her! Spoiler alert, it's because she's annoying.

Mateo is so selfless, he puts the inanimals before him every time. This also means he's a spineless coward. And boring.

Mikey Transaction may be a good dad, but he was probably a terrible husband, considering Stacy divorced him.

Miranda really has no future in music. Her songs are boring and plain, like everything I've ever hear before.

Mitchell Linn has no credibility as a food critic. He just woke up one day and decided he was important enough to judge others. He's not.

Monique hides, and it's for good reason. Literally no one likes her. And her financial advice is just kind of annoying.

Nightmare isn't even scary. Betty's made her soft. She's just kind of sad.

Parker Bradley's a drug pusher. His acid trips are the only things that make him a semi-bearable person to be around. And the only person he thinks even cares about him doesn't. Bobby just rolled love with you by accident. They don't give a shit about you, babes.

There's a reason Penelope's dates all fail. She's just not that interesting. She has literally no personality.

I don't even know why Phoenecia burns herself out so much. It's not like her fan base even cares that much. They wouldn't mind if she never came back online.

Prissy will never be a real plant. Spoiler alert, girl, manifestation isn't real.

Rainey has a few screws loose, even after she was fixed. She's stuck in the 1920s, and it's honestly annoying.

Rebel is a space duck.

River keeps trying to figure out what her best state is, but really, she's not interesting in any state. She's always boring.

Ronnie may be a goddess, but that doesn't mean she deserves to be worshipped. I can't see why anyone likes her.

The sassy chap isn't even meant to be in the game. Who cares about the devs? Not me.

Scandalabra is so desperate to get into other people's business because he can't accept that he's just kind of boring and gay.

Shelley is right to be so anxious about failing. It's bound to happen eventually.

Sinclaire...where do I even start? He's so unhinged, I don't know whether to be scared or feel pity. Or neither. Because he doesn't matter.

Skips looks like he got stuck in a hot topic and escaped wearing everything. Being an internet dweller isn't a personality trait.

Skylar's only purpose is to make us able to talk to the human. Other than that, she's nothing.

Sophia is bored with her lovers because she herself is just, boring. She has no personality besides being a dominatrix and degrading others.

Stefan is such a hot head because he knows literally no one would care about anything he had to say otherwise. He feels the need to yell because he's just not interesting enough to listen to.

Stella is so obsessed with her MLM because she has literally no prospects otherwise. She should just go back to the retirement home.

Stepford isn't even gold. He's pewter. He's a participation trophy. He should honestly be embarrassed.

Teddy is such a pushover, if someone slapped him in the face he'd apologize and thank them for being such a good friend.

Telly makes TV their whole personality because they know Valdivaflix is leagues better.

Textbox-Chan just isn't that interesting. And her UI is kind of ugly, not gonna lie.

Timothy Timepiece is only obsessed with time because he's so scared of people seeing that he's a pitiful catboy.

Tina is so obsessed with drama because she knows she's boring. At least she's trying to spice herself up. It's not really working.

Tony sings soprano. He also has a huge Napoleon complex because he's so tiny. He has a fragile masculinity that's going to shatter any day now.

I'm going to eat one of the dipodgenes. Just to spite Tydus. She can't protect them. Wasn't that a whole trend a few years ago?

Tyrell will never be a beach towel. He just needs to get over it. No one wants his ass tracking sand into the house anyway.

Vaughn Trapp speaks for himself. He's ugly, and he can't even do his one job right. When was the last time he even caught a rat?

Wall. Wall wall wall wall. Wall.

Washford is a manwhore, and somehow, he feels no shame in it. The only reason he has that whole harem is because he's too insecure to be alone.

Willi will never find a stable job again because she's just, not that good. No one wants to hire someone so judgy and uninteresting.

Winnifred basically dating 10 people and refusing to tell each of them is not only manipulative, but toxic too.

I see right through you, Wyndolyn. You're obsessed with other people's lives because you don't have one of your own.