I recently read one of your books, Darius the Great Is Not Okay, and Iām so glad that I did. I had heard talk of the book floating around and I never knew why, but now that Iāve read it, Iām incredibly grateful that I did. Reading about Dariusā experience with his culture, his family, and his depression hit me right in the heart, as I have gone through very similar things. Seeing someone else go through things that Iāve gone through makes me feel so much less alone, and even if itās still hard, I know that itās a feeling that I can share with others.
Originally, I read this book as a way to look into another perspective, a type of āwindow,ā but the more I read, the more I saw myself in Darius. I understand how he feels when his father seems disappointed in him all the time for things he canāt control, because Iāve been through that too. My parents donāt always understand that sometimes the best I can do is just getting up and staying awake. Being excluded from the group, dealing with bullies that target you for things you donāt have control over, and struggling to understand what youāre supposed to do when youāre around others isnāt too far from home. It made me sad to realize that Darius and myself had gone through very similar situations.
More than that, I saw myself in Dariusā experience trying to connect with his culture. My family comes from many different places, and Iāve never been as connected as Iād like to be. I didnāt even know about part of my heritage until I was older, since my parents never talked about it. The lack of knowledge made me feel like I couldnāt really claim the culture as my own. Dariusā hesitancy to engage in things and his uncertainty about how to talk with other people in Iran, felt like someone had taken my anxieties right out of my brain and put them onto a page, just with a different background. It makes sense that plenty of people feel that way, especially when youāre the child of an immigrant, but it still was very special to see that struggle represented.
The thing that was maybe most impactful to me was Dariusā connection with his grandfather. I lost my grandfather around a year ago, and since he lived in Germany, I didnāt get to see him as much as I would have liked. I also had to leave knowing that I wouldnāt get to visit my grandfather again, and Iāll admit that I cried a bit reading that part of the book. Losing someone is always hard, but knowing that you wonāt be able to go visit them again hurts. Losing someone hurts even more when it feels like you havenāt had enough time with them. The way that you talked about Dariusā feelings hit me right in the gut, and I still havenāt fully gotten over it.
Dariusā story was a reflection of mine in so many ways, and Iām forever grateful that I took the chance and read your book. It was a book that I will probably think about for some time to come. Dariusā struggles with his mental health, with connecting to his culture, and with knowing that he wonāt get to see his grandfather again all painted a very realistic portrait of teenage life, and Iām glad that I read the book. Congratulations on your newest book! I hope to hear back from you. It would be awesome to get a āletterā back from an author I admire, and my teacher promised me extra credit points if I got a response back, although I was not expecting this to be done through a tumblr ask.
Thank you so much for your lovely message. I'm so honored you saw yourself in Darius's story, and I hope it was a balm to you through your own rough times. I wrote it for folks who feel like you doāand like I do too, tbh.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather passing away. Mine are both long gone, but I think of them often, especially my Iranian one, who went through so much in his life but, in his later years, was more content than maybe any person I've ever known. He would sit on the porch of my aunt's house (where he lived), looking at the garden and the sunlight, and say "Khaylee khoob" (very good) to himself.
I hope you're taking care of yourself as best you can. And I hope, like Darius, you find the people that love you for who you are.
