#ashikinabdrahim

There will be moment when u think u deserve something better, The moment when u realize u don't find the answer in the surroundings, The moment when u realize u should be treated better, The moment when u look back and no there is no support bone anymore. Then, there will be moment when u think u are the problem, Having problems to fit into the sick society, Having problems to appreciate an existence deeply, Having problems to reset your thinkings and restart again. Later, comes the moment of when life is really tough, No matter how much you try,it remains s, No matter how strong you try to be, it keeps on testing you, No matter how painful it is and you keep on hiding it with fake smiles. In addition, life is a journey that could never ever satisfied you in any way, but u keep on riding it because u are struggling your very best to survive.

Have you ever met some one who apparently is your ultimate strength and also your biggest fear? I do. I am. When I am with that person, I feel as if I can be who ever I wanna be, I can be some one who I can never be when I am with other people. When I am with that person, hurting him is the last thing I want to do even though my soul is bleeding inside. When I am with that person, I can't stop looking in the mirror and keep asking God 'what did I do to deserve such amazing person in my life?'. When I am with that person, I always try to be the strongest woman I could be because I know my tears will tear him apart. When I am with that person, I wish I am someone not just no one. 

It is really pain this time. Unlike other tears, these come with scars.  Maybe because it is already over the limit or maybe because one just can't take the same feed back over and over again. Is it really a big crime for wishing for better one even deep down inside, one knows she doesn't deserve it?