#asher smith

Has it only been three days? No... it had to be longer. They wouldn’t let him sleep and barely gave him anything to eat.

His stomach cramped at the thought of food. He swallowed, realising his mouth was dry. The lingering taste of blood almost made him heave. He stared at the place where he thought the door would be. However, he wasn’t sure if he was looking straight ahead or to the side.

When he tried to stand, he moved through sludge. Each movement took twice as much effort as usual. If it weren’t for the wall behind him, he would have fallen.

Thu-Dum...

Footsteps echoed in the air, almost in rhythm with his heartbeat. His breath caught in his throat. The darkness moved, pressing him back against the wall. He couldn’t breathe. Panic clouded his thoughts.

Thu-Dum... Thu-Dum...

Sounds faded. They disappeared. The screams that constantly bombarded him went mute. A key turned in a lock. Pins and needles covered his body. The darkness shifted. A tunnel of light tore through the tiny cell. He tried to cover his eyes, but was unable to get his limbs moving through the thick sludge that was the darkness.

He didn’t have the strength to resist.

“...”

The words did not make any sense. His ears rang. Lights flickered and shifted.

“...today is going to be fun...” a figure in front of him said. The figure blurred and shifted.

Panic strangled him.

Laughter sounded up; it echoed through the darkness. He couldn’t make out what the person looked like, not that he needed to. He knew who it was, what they looked like.

“....please...” he whispered.

He could barely hear his own voice, but it sounded strange, broken and barely above a whisper.

Pain tore through his head. His cheek burned. The darkness threatened to take him over. Everything shifted. He could taste the copper - the metal filled his mouth. The ground gave way beneath his feet.

“...Are you going to do what we say now?”

The voice echoed through his mind. It twisted and shifted. The sound was like nails against a chalkboard in his mind.

No! He couldn’t do what they wanted. Never! No!

After all this time. Not that he could trust his own sense of time in this place. Maybe if he pushed them enough, they’d kill him. That would be a mercy.

His back slammed into a wall. The shadowed face leaned closer. He couldn’t breathe - something pressed against his chest. Everything around him pulled back, turning hazy and unfocused. Someone yelled in his face, but the sound came through as muffled, muted and unintelligible.

Pain flared up through his battered body. A hand grabbed his face. It burned. His eyes did not want to focus on the face in front of him.

“...You brat..” the voice snarled in his face.

He tried to move away, but did not have the strength.

The shadows shifted again.

“You will do what is asked of you,” the voice hissed.

Something glinted in the light. But every time he tried to focus on it, it disappeared. His chest hurt from his heart beating too fast.

“Let’s see how long you last....” The voice faded into nothing as his eyes finally managed to make out what the glint was.

A needle.

No! No! No!

Not that! He knew what it was. Why? Why did he know? He wasn’t sure, couldn’t remember. Frantically, he struggled to get away. But he was not in control of his body. The needle broke his skin. Pain spiderwebbed up his arm.

Screams echoed through the darkness, bouncing off the walls of the small cell. Laughter mixed in with the screams. The world around him faded, ripping his mind from where he was trapped.

***

Ash gasped as he shot up. His eyes frantically searched the room. Each breath hurt. He couldn’t take in enough air. One hand clutched his arm. Phantom pain still spiderwebbed through his veins. His nails dug into his skin as he scrambled back as far as the bed’s headboard allowed him to.

Headboard...

He froze, slowly reaching down, touching the soft sheets beneath him. Soft. It was smooth, not coarse and abrasive.

This was not his small, empty cell. He was in his room.

At home.

He could hear his heart beating in his ears. The beat was so rapid that his chest hurt. His arm stung, and he looked down at it. Slowly, he forced his fingers to relax around his arm. His nails left sharp indents in his skin. He stared at it before taking a deep breath. The pain in his chest became less, and he focused on taking another deep breath.

He pulled his knees up against his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He focused on breathing to calm the painful beating of his heart.

Minutes ticked by, and only when he couldn’t hear his own heart in his ears did he allow his body to relax. Slowly, he pulled his hand through his hair. Now his white hair stood up in every direction.

His stomach rolled, and the nausea rose in the back of his throat. He tried to swallow it down, but it didn’t help. Pressing his hand over his mouth, he stumbled to the bathroom. He barely managed to reach the bathroom connected to his room before he started heaving into the toilet. When the heaving finally stopped, he just stayed on the floor, his body trembling. He barely had the strength to get up.

Slowly, he reached out and pulled himself up using the sink. Rinsing out his mouth, he avoided looking into the mirror. For the last two weeks, all the memories he’d managed to suppress started to surface again. He locked those memories away for a reason. They weren’t meant to come back.

With trembling hands, he washed his face. The cold water cleared his mind completely from the nightmare. He took another deep breath before glancing at his watch.

Half past four in the morning.

It was still early. There was more than enough time before he needed to show up for his first class.

First class.

The first class for his new university course.

Ash slowly walked back to his bed, sinking onto it. With one hand, he rubbed his eyes. Memories tried to push their way back into his mind. His breathing caught in his throat, and his hands started to tremble. The longer he sat there, the more difficult it became not to be pulled along.

Knocking pulled him from the memories.

Flinching, Ash shot to his feet. He stared at the door, as if waiting for someone to burst through and attack.

It took a moment to remind himself that no one was going to attack him here. The knocking sounded again, and Ash got up from the bed, slowly walking over. Hopefully, it wasn’t his father or stepmother. He didn’t have the energy to deal with them at the moment.

“What?” He snapped, roughly opening the door.

The blond girl on the other side looked at him with a raised eyebrow, one hand half raised as if to knock again.

Ash blinked as he met the same shade of turquoise eyes as his own. Immediately, his expression softened.

“Sorry, Allison,” he said gently, “I didn’t mean to snap at you. What do you need?”

Allison rolled her eyes at him.

“Whatever,” she said, putting her hands on her hips, “There’s someone at the door, insisting on talking to you.”

Ash frowned. “Who?”

“How should I know? He didn’t even have the manners to introduce himself.”

Ash blinked at her for a second before nodding.

Allison nodded. “Don’t dilly dally too long,” she said, “Remember to eat something before you leave.”

A slight smile pulled on Ash’s lips. “Yeah, yeah, get out. Tell whoever it is, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Allison nodded. “I’m going to fill the kettle, so at least drink something if you’re not going to eat.”

Nodding again, Ash closed the door, leaning against it for a moment. He still had to get used to being back home. It’s been around six months since he got back.

Allison. His twin sister. He hasn’t seen her in almost six years. It was terrifying having to get to know everyone again, meaning both of his sisters.

Allison and Mica.

Shaking his head, he started getting dressed.

Just who on earth would walk to talk to him this early in the morning? Couldn’t they have chosen a better time? Although the chance of him not being here later in the day was very high.

With a sigh, he left his room. His eyes scanned over the paintings decorating the walls to the ornaments on pedestals.

Such a waste of money.

Making his way down the stairs, listening for any signs that anyone else was up. Everything was quiet. It seemed like only his sister and some of the house staff were awake.

That worked well enough for him.

As he stepped down, his eyes found a man standing at the front door. Well, that explains things.

Neth.

“What are you doing here?” Ash asked, crossing his arms.

Neth looked up at Ash with a slight smile. “Asher,” he said, “It’s good to see you again. You look much better than last time.”

Ash looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “I would hope so,” he said, “Now what are you doing here?”

Neth lifted a folder for him to see. “The last of the paperwork finally came through,” he said, “You just need to sign.”

Ash frowned. “I thought we were done with that?”

“The NDA’s and those, yes,” Neth said, “But these are the official release forms as well as a gift from the Commander.”

After a second, Ash nodded and motioned for Neth to follow him. He could feel the man’s eyes on him as he walked.

“You know the others want to come visit you, right?” Neth asked.

Ash nodded. “I’m well aware,” he said, sitting down on the couch, “Don’t bring them here, they are too loud.”

“Come on, Kid,” Neth laughed, “They miss you.”

“They are morons.”

“They are well aware that you think that of them,” Neth said, sitting down. Slowly, he placed the file on the coffee table between them. “You need to go through that. Sign it and ask if anything bothers you.”

Ash looked at the file, making no effort to reach for it.

“How long do I have?” he asked, glancing at Neth, “Because I have a busy day ahead.”

“University,” Neth said, amused. “I did not think you’d take it this seriously. But you seem quite agreeable with this.”

“I don’t really care.” Ash shrugged.

Neth looked slightly disappointed. “You know they are trying really hard to give you a normal life.”

“I did not ask them to.”

“They are worried about you, Asher.”

“I know.” Ash wrung his hands together. “They really shouldn’t.”

Neth shook his head. He studied Ash’s face. The younger guy slowly picked up the file, flipping through the pages. His eyes scanned over the pages until he reached the end before pausing and looking up.

“My concealed weapon permit?” he asked, surprised.

Neth nodded. “The Commander thought that you might appreciate that.”

“Thank you,” Ash said, “I probably wouldn’t carry anything, but it’s good to have it.”

“That’s why the commander let you keep it.” Neth said.

“Guess I owe him a thank you,” Ash said, looking at Neth, “You’ve got a pen?”

Without a word, Neth handed him a pen. “Are you sure about signing?” he asked.

Ash nodded as he started signing the papers before placing them back on the table.

“Is that all?”

Neth nodded. “Yes, that’s it,” he said, taking the file, “I’ll try and make sure they don’t both you any time soon.”

Ash snorted as he got up. “Tell them not to both me,” he said.

With a laugh, Neth got up. “I’ll tell them,” he said as they walked to the door.

The two stopped at the front door.

“Did you have to come so early?” Ash asked.

Neth grinned. “It’s the only time I know that you’ll be here,” he said, before his expression became serious, “You should take care of yourself.”

“You don’t need to worry about me,” Ash said, “Now get going, I still have to get ready for class.”

Neth nodded. “It was good to see you again,” he said before leaving.

Ash closed the door, taking a deep breath. He was now completely released from the military. Even before he turned back, he knew that there was someone behind him on the stairs.

“Asher.”

The woman’s voice sent chills down his spine. Closing his eyes for a moment, he turned around, schooling his expression to blank. The woman wore elegant clothes, and her black hair was made into an updo.

His stepmother. Tanya Smith, formerly known as Tanya Romanof. The woman who used to be his mother’s best friend. And then went and turned around and married his father, barely a year after his mother died. His fifteen-year-old self still felt betrayed.

For a split second, an old memory tried to push its way back into his mind.

“A visitor?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Ash nodded, not looking away from her.

“I would prefer it if you keep those types of people away from the house as much as possible,” she said.

Ash clenched his jaw, refusing to break eye contact.

“I will not say this again,” Tanya said, “I do not want them snooping around in the house.”

“They are my friends,” Ash said quietly. He did not want to argue with her. Again, he could feel his heart hammering against his ribs.

Tanya narrowed her eyes at him, but did not say anything.

“I need to get ready for class,” Ash said, pushing himself away from the door. Quickly, he stepped around Tanya, making sure not to get too close. He took his time getting dressed and gathering his books. With his backpack over his shoulder, he slowly walked back down stairs.

“Leave?” Allison asked, peering out from the kitchen.

Ash nodded. “Yeah.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “Neth took a bit more time than I thought. I can’t be late on my first day.”

“Breakfast is important,” Allison said, worry in her eyes.

“I know,” Ash said, giving her a slight smile.

Allison sighed and held out an apple towards. “At least eat this, or else you might get into trouble for not taking care of yourself.”

Ash took the apple. “Thanks, tell Mica I’m sorry I couldn’t walk her to school.”

Allison nodded. “Off you go, before you really are late.”

***

Ash breathed out as he looked at his schedule again. So far, everything had gone smoothly. The classes weren’t too bad. Of the few he had so far, the first two were the most interesting. He did not think he’d enjoy Bio-Engineering this much.

At the entrance of one of the buildings, Ash stopped, glanced at the schedule, which also showed the building and class numbers, before stuffing the piece of paper back into his bag. As he entered the classroom, he looked around. The room was filled with two-person tables, high enough for practical work, but also for normal class work.

Unfortunately, almost everyone was now looking at him. He did not like that. At all. With a sigh, he pulled his hoodie a bit further over his face, heading for one of the open seats towards the back. Quiet muttering started as soon as he started moving.

Ash slowly sat down, dropping his bag to the ground. His eyes flickered over the students in the class. They seemed normal.

He closed his eyes for a second. That’s not the right way to think. They are just normal students, nothing more.

“You seem very comfortable in my spot,” a voice said, sounding amused. “Did you get lost or something?”

Ash looked up.

A girl stood next to the table, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile. He blinked, looking into the greenest eyes he’d ever seen.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked, forcing himself to focus on her and not get drawn into those green eyes again.

“Did you get lost or something?” she repeated, tucking a coppery curl behind her ear, “I’ve never seen you in this class before.”

“Not lost,” Ash said, studying the girl’s face.

She had freckles...

“Alright...” she said slowly as she sat down next to him, “Then why are you here?”

Ash’s eyes followed her, moving slightly so they wouldn’t bump into each other. “I’m new. It’s my first time in this class,” he said.

Frowning slightly, she placed a notebook and textbooks on the table. “That’s a bit confusing. If you don’t mind, why start in the middle of the semester?”

Before Ash could answer, another guy stopped next to their table.

“Ella....” the guy started, eyes flickering towards Ash.

Ash ignored the look, giving the guy a fake smile.

“What do you want, Zyran?” the girl, apparently Ella, asked. Her tone was cold with a strange edge to it.

Ash was surprised that the classroom did not turn to ice.

“We need to talk,” Zyran said, leaning against the table towards the girl.

“Guess what,” she snapped, “I don’t want to talk to you.” She crossed her arms, leaning away. “So just back off.”

Zyran glared at her before looking at Ash, eyes narrowed. “Who the hell are you?”

Ash smiled sweetly at him, giving him a wave. “Hi, I’m new,” he said.

Zyran’s eye twitched as he looked at Ash.

“Leave Zyran,” she snapped, “this isn’t you’re class, and class is about to start.”

Zyran’s jaw tightened before he turned and started walking away.

“Bye-bye,” Ash said, giving Zyran a save when the guy looked back. He watched as Zyran let out a huff, stalking out of the class.

The girl chuckled as she watched the scene unfold. “You did not need to do that,” she said.

“He seemed annoying,” Ash said, “And wouldn’t stop glaring at me. Is he your boyfriend or something?”

She rolled her eyes. “Not anymore,” she said, “I’m Eloise Hendricks, but you can just call me Ella.”

“Asher Smith,” Ash said, half smiling, “But you can call me Ash.”

***

Eloise glanced at the new guy sitting next to her. As the class started, she noticed he pushed the hood back, revealing white hair. When she looked a bit closer, she noticed he was pale with dark bags under his eyes.

Maybe he came to class this late because he was sick. That would make a lot of sense. She watched a bit longer before turning her attention back to the class. out of the corner of her eye, she noticed him absentmindedly drawing on a piece of paper. She got the feeling that he was tired, but still paying attention, even while drawing.

Either someone pulled a lot of strings to get him here, or he proved that he could keep up the material. It was rare for someone to be allowed into this class halfway through the semester.

With a shake of her head, she turned her attention back to the class. The class dragged on, and she noticed him glancing up every once in a while, before going back to what he was drawing.

The moment the class ended, noise erupted through the room. Next to her, Ash flinched, quickly looking up.

“Not a fan of loud noises?” she asked, gathering her stuff.

Ash’s hand stopped moving, and he looked at her. “No, not at the moment,” he said.

Eloise nodded. “Alright, if you don’t mind, can we talk quickly?”

Ash started putting away his stuff. “About?” he asked.

“Do you want to team up for the project?” Eloise asked.

For a moment, Eloise stared into Ash’s turquoise eyes. They were clear and bright, but somehow a bit dark as well.

“Alright,” Ash said, “If you don’t mind.”

Eloise smiled and nodded. “Thanks,” she said, putting the last things in her bag and throwing it over her shoulder. As she went down to the lecturer’s desk to get the papers for the projects, she could hear Ash following behind her.

“Got a partner this time, Hendricks?” the lecturer asked, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, Sir,” she said, “No need to be worried about me anymore”

“Good,” the professor said, looking at Ash, “Take good care of the newbie.”

Eloise laughed, “Of course, Sir”

The man nodded and went back to packing up his things. Eloise grabbed one of the assignments and turned to Ash, handing him a copy.

Ash took the papers, but did not say anything.

“Let’s go outside,” Eloise said, not waiting for Ash to answer, she left the class. Behind her she could all but feel him following her. She made her way to an open area before turning back to him.

“What do you want to talk about?” Ash asked, tilting his head slightly as he pulled his hood up to cover his hair again.

Eloise studied him for a moment. Why would he want to hide his hair? It seemed like that was what he was doing.

“Right, do you want to set up a meeting, so we can go over everything together, or just divide it, work on our own and put it together a few days before handing it in?” she asked.

“I don’t care,” Ash said, “Anyway you want. If you want to discuss it, we can do it today. I don’t have any other class.”

“I have some time,” Eloise said, “Want to drink some coffee while we work?”

Ash smiled slightly, “Sounds good, do you know a place?”

Eloise grinned. “Of course, follow me,” she said, a bit surprised that he agreed. With that, she started walking, leading him to a small coffee shop not too far away.

“If you don’t mind,” Eloise said, “Can I ask you a question or two?”

Ash glanced at her as they walked. “That depends on the question,” he said.

Before Eloise could react, they reached the small shop. “Here we go,” she said.

Ash looked at the shop before nodding. “It seems nice,” he said, “Not a lot of people.”

“That’s why I like it.” Eloise said.

Ash opened the door for her. “Then let’s go sit down,” he said, motioning for her to enter first.

“Thank you,” Eloise said, stepping inside, heading for one of the tables in the back.

The two sat down, and Ash leaned back in his chair. He sat so that he could see the door as well as the windows. Eloise got out the project papers, placing them on the table, before adding some pens.

“So we have a week?” Ash said, nodding as he pulled the papers over.

“That’s right.”

“Then we’ll have to work fast.” Ash said, his eyes scanning over the work, “This is a lot of work...”

“We’ll just have to work quickly then,” Eloise said.

Ash reached for one of the pens, completely focused on the papers in front of him. Quickly, he started scribbling in the margins.

Eloise watched him for a second, waving away the waitress who came closer. Fascinated, she leaned closer, reading over what he was writing.

“Are those the answers?” she asked when Ash finally stopped.

He blinked and looked up. “Yeah, sorry...” he said, “Just thought that it would be faster if we already had the answers and just needed to show the work.”

“How did you do this?” Eloise asked.

“These questions aren’t so hard,” Ash said, “They are quite basic.”

Eloise smiled. “Seems like I got the perfect partner,” she said, “One that knows all the answers.”

Ash rolled his eyes. “It’s not that difficult,” he said.

“If you say so,” Eloise said, “Question... If you already know the answers, why even take this class?”

Ash sat back and shook his head. “I didn’t choose this course,” he said, “Why ask?”

“Just curious,” Eloise said, sitting back as she studied him.

“That is a terrible reason,” Ash said. His phone started ringing before anyone could say anything else. For a moment, Ash sat frozen before pulling out his phone. His expression darkened when he saw the caller ID.

“Sorry, I need to take this,” he said, getting up.

Eloise nodded. “It’s fine,” she said, pulling the project papers closer.

Looking up, she watched as Ash stood just outside the coffee shop. He was motioning with one hand, a scowl on his face. She could have sworn that he became paler than before. Whoever he was talking to, he clearly did not like them.

It took another few minutes before he returned. Unlike before, Ash’s face was expressionless and blank.

“Everything alright?” she asked.

Ash took a deep breath. “Yeah, don’t worry about it,” he said, grabbing his backpack, “Unfortunately, I need to leave. Family business.”

“No problem, we can meet up again later,” Eloise said.

Ash hesitated before taking one of the pens and neatly writing in the corner of the papers. He pushed it back towards her.

“There,” he said, “Message me if you have any questions or want to meet up again”

Eloise looked down at the writing. It was a cellphone number. When she looked up, Ash was already gone.

***

The man lowered his binoculars. A smirk pulled on his face, lifting the binoculars again. He looked at the young man who stepped out of the coffee shop. Finally, he managed to find the little brat. For a second time, he put the binoculars down, this time to look at the wrinkled photo in his other hand. The young man looked different in the photo. He was younger, the hair shorter and blond, dressed in a uniform. The young man down in the street was paler, his hair longer, bits of white sticking out beneath the hood.

He did not think that it would be this easy to find the young man.

“Hello there, PhantomShot,” he said, sitting back as he pulled out his phone, “This time you are not going to get away from us.”

As he packed his things, he listened to the dial tone on the phone. When he got up to leave, someone answered.

“I found him,” he said, listening to the person talk, “And you are not going to believe where he’s hiding at the moment...”

***

Ash sat in his car, hands gripping the steering wheel tight enough to make his knuckles go white. He had to force himself to keep breathing. Just looking at the mansion and all the cars made his skin crawl.

Every time he moves to get out, his heart starts to hammer painfully against his ribs. Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead on the wheel, taking deep, controlled breaths. After a few minutes, he forced his fingers to relax and let go of the steering wheel. He couldn’t stay in the car forever. Taking one last deep breath, he grabbed his bag and got out.

He slung the bag over his shoulder, walking towards the massive front doors. The sounds of music and people could already be heard. This was not going to be pleasant at all. The moment he opened the door, all the sounds hit him like a fist to the stomach. It took him a second to compose himself before heading to the grand staircase.

“Asher.”

Ash stopped, slowly turning to the voice, keeping his expression neutral. In front of him stood a tall man with dark eyes and the same turquoise eyes.

His father.

Desmond.

Ash’s eyes flickered to the woman who stood next to him, Tanya.

“Father,” he said, eyes narrowing at the two, “Tanya.”

“Asher,” she said, holding a cocktail glass.

“Why did you call me?” Ash asked.

“You should show your father some support,” Tanya said.

Ash looked at her with a flat expression, “I’m sure he’s old enough not to care if I’m here,” he said.

“Do not speak to your mother like that,” Desmond said.

“Stepmother,” Ash said immediately, “Now explain why you called me. I told you before, I don’t want anything to do with these things.”

He could feel the panic starting to rise in his chest. All of the sounds and people were making him feel trapped.

“Never mind that, I’m going to my room,” he said, before Desmond could answer. With that, he turned around and headed up the stairs. Taking deep breaths, he focused on calming his heartbeat. He closed his bedroom door, leaning against it. The sounds dimmed, and he felt himself calm down.

Knocking sounded from the door, causing Ash to flinch. Slowly, he got to his feet, keeping one hand on the wall so he wouldn’t lose his balance.

“Who is it?” he asked, pausing with one hand on the doorknob.

“Asher...?” a small voice asked, “Can I come in?”

Ash’s shoulders relaxed, and he smiled slightly. Slowly, he opened the door, looking down at the little girl on the other side.

“Hey, little one,” he said, crouching down in front of his little sister.

The eight-year-old girl looked up at him, pouting.

“Hey, Ash,” a second voice said, “We thought we’d come keep you company.”

Ash blinked as he looked up. Allison stood behind the little girl. He nodded as he got up, stepping to the side so they could come in.

The little girl pouted, her small arms crossed.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked, trying not to smile.

She nodded, looking away from him.

Allison shrugged when Ash looked at her, before mouthing, ‘very mad’.

“Is it before I didn’t say goodbye this morning, Mica?” he asked, turning his attention back to the little girl.

She nodded.

Ash sighed, tilting his head slightly. “I’m sorry, Scorpion,” he said softly, putting a hand on her dark hair, “I didn’t mean to leave without saying goodbye.”

Mica glared at him for a moment longer before nodding. “Alright, I’ll forgive you this time,” she said.

Ash sighed in relief. “Thank you so much, I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t forgive me,” he said.

Mica sighed dramatically before she hugged him. Ash had to force himself not to flinch and patted her on the head.

“Come on, little one,” he said, “Let’s watch a movie until you fall asleep.”

“Can I pick the movie?” Mica asked, and Ash nodded.

Allison followed after them.

“You look tired,” she said softly.

“I am...” Ash said, “Had to deal with a lot of people.”

The three made themselves comfortable on Ash’s bed. He made sure that he wasn’t touching anyone.