Not exactly one person sees a red apple

And another sees a blue one.

But at the same time,

It’s similar.

In a sense that if you have paranoia that your best friend has a friend that they trust completely,

And you can’t go near them because you’d rather let yourself be severely injured,

Than to let them help you.

I had paranoia as a child,

Freaking out,

When my extra help teacher would follow us from class to class.

After a few months of medication,

My mother saw improvement.

She began giving me smaller doses.

And while watching a conspiracy video

On haunted dolls or houses,

They can cause a spike in my paranoia,

I haven’t freaked out like I used to.

When I was young,

I had this teacher,

He was really nice,

But he’d walk with us to our next class.

Being a kid who was told they had ADHD and Asperger syndrome,

This teacher was supposed to be there to make sure I paid attention,

He’d help if I ever got stuck on certain questions and problems

One day I realised that he’d follow us to our next class,

My friend wasn’t there and I’d talk to him in the halls.

That day I went home to my mom and told her the teacher would follow me,

And that I thought he might want to hurt me,

It doesn’t help I was the asthmatic fat kid either.

Hilariously enough this was when I started the medication for my paranoia.

Looking back on all the moments I could feel people looking at me,

I realise now that I had paranoia,

And my mom realised that and never told me.

It’s funny, because I was talking to my friend the other day.

A different one, Not the one from before.

And they told me that they had Scopophobia,

scoptophobia, or ophthalmophobia are other names that It can go by.

The morbid fear of being watched/ drawing attention to oneself.

Really, just a form of paranoia, I think.

But neither here nor there, it took me by surprise when they told me

But it makes sense.

In the end,

Paranoia isn’t easily gotten over and/or cured,

I personally fell into the second definition of Paranoia.

Suspicion and mistrust of people or their actions without evidence or justification.

Hence my teacher following me and I had no idea why.

So shit happens.

Paranoia can cause people to avoid from taking their medication,

And I’m lucky that mine developed at a young age when I was aware I had

A problem with myself she told me I had a new medication that would help me focus in class.

It’s really funny how easily I believed her being a paranoid child seeing as I thought someone