#aroness

aron + aroness + arony + aronist

[IMAGE ID: four horizontal flags with nine stripes; each flag has a blurred aromantic flag, shaped like a heart, in the center. the flag is a bright green, light green, white, grey, and black. the middle stripe is twice as large as the rest of them, which are equally sized. the first flag has these top three colors: black, dark red, and medium red. the second flag has these top three colors: dark red, red, and tan. the third flag has these top three colors: black, red, and very light grey. the fourth flag has these top three colors: dark red, tan, and very light grey. each flag has these bottom six stripes: bright green, off-white, bright green, light green, grey, and black. END ID.]

aron: a gender connected to being an aromantic baron; this gender is connected to being aromantic, aromantic pride, baron aesthetics, loud tones of macarshric, and macaranhood/shriekhood! can be masculine, but doesn't have to be!

aroness: a gender connected to being an aromantic baroness; this gender is connected to being aromantic, aromantic pride, baroness aesthetics, soft tones of macarshric, and macaranhood/shriekhood! can be feminine, but doesn't have to be!

arony: a gender connected to being an aromantic barony; this gender is connected to being aromantic, aromantic pride, barony aesthetics, steady tones of macarshric, and macaranhood/shriekhood! can be unaligned, but doesn't have to be!

Pretty much always knowing that I had no attraction meant that whe I was in middle/high school I:

-Never fought over crushes with my friends

-Never did something stupid to impress a crush

-Never had my heart broken

-Generally didn’t stress or care about that at all! (In the typical way at least.) I have so much mental space to dedicate to the rich variety of joys found in Every Other Aspect of Life! It’s great!

Also, I love how eye-opening it is to be aro. it encourages you to look beyond attraction to what really is/should be at the heart of relationships. it helps you see the huge variety and potential of human relationships, far beyond the typical dichotomy of “friends” vs “in love”. It really forces you to think deeply about what the elements of relationships are, how they relate to you, and what you personally want which is really interesting to me.

It’s just a lot less drama. I love it.

Hey there! Sorry for the wait on this, and thank you very much for asking!

As for a “guide” to asexuality and aromanticism, people are generally very vocal about it online and there are a lot of lovely comics and essays describing ace and aro people’s thoughts and experiences. Asexuality has a lot more material than aromanticism as far as I’ve seen, but it’s out there! There are also a handful of official articles and websites that I’ve found very helpful.

There’s a website called AVEN that’s dedicated to education for asexuals and allosexuals alike. It’s kind of like the official ace “hub”. What I’ve seen of it is great. I’m sure it’s got information about aromanticism as well because the two communities are very related.

I can definitely understand wanting a “guide to the unknown”, haha. Research helps you understand what it means to be ace/aro, but how are you supposed to know what to do from there? Everyone reacts differently to their orientation based on their feelings and priorities. It can be messy, and it can be really scary. This is where reading others’ experiences has been very helpful for me. I have a tag for things I’ve reblogged from people that I connected with that you’re free to look through. Aro stuff, ace stuff

For me the three most important things were 1) understanding what aromanticism and asexuality are by definition 2) reading aro and ace people’s understandings of this orientation, their experiences, and different ways to understand it (spectra, etc) 3) thinking long and hard about what my feelings and experiences are, how they relate to others, how they relate to my priorities, and what I want to do about them.

As you research aromanticism and asexuality, especially if you are questioning or aro/ace yourself, it’s crucial (crucial!) to remember that your orientation is not the same thing as your identity as a person. Using labels and engaging in communities are your choice. Labels are helpful as much as they help you feel understood and accurately describe your feelings, but they are not who you are, and you should never feel bound by them.