WARNING: This small snippet contains possibly triggering content!! I donāt wanna give out exact warnings tho, so please donāt read this if you canāt handle anything triggering. (Nothing graphic, but itās depicted)
Regarding ships, itās the best if you are open to any ships, no matter howĀ āproblematicā they are.
āSupport group for people with problematic issuesā it said on that flyer that Armin had detected on one of the pinboards at his university. 'If you are in a situation that you canāt entrust your usual first person of trust, we might help you by becoming the first step to your support.ā it read furthermore.
Armin didnāt know why that flyer had caught his attention. He had told himself that he would keep silent, no matter what. No one was allowed to know about his secret. It would destroy someone who was dear to him. He couldnāt risk that. A support group might even be a fatal decision. What if, by talking about it, he were to become more reckless afterwards?
Armin didnāt know why he ripped the yellow paper off the board and tugged it into his pockets.
Armin didnāt know why he went to that support group the next day.
An attempt to relieve his guilt?
Whatever it was, he was here now and he had entered the room where a blond woman greeted him and waved a hand at the chairs, that were arranged in a circle in the middle of the room, offering him to sit down wherever he wanted. Beside him, a boy with a two-coloured undercut was present, tapping away at his phone, absentmindedly, but with a smirk curling over his lips. Then, there was that other boy with an undercut ā but raven-haired ā who gave Armin a nasty glare. Their eyes met once before the guy turned his head to the right, chewing on his gum. As if he had lost interest in Arminās presence in a mere second.
'Okay. Thatās fine. I donāt mind.ā Armin wished that not all the others that were yet to come were like these two.
Fifteen minutes later, more people joined, every time the woman had kindly greeted them, her face too bright for someone who would consult with problematic young adults soon. Armin began to fidget in his seat.
All seats except one got occupied. The two-toned guy sat two seats away from Armin on the left, the raven-haired on the right side, one person sitting between them as well. He had swept a quick glances at both when the woman announced the beginning of the session, but neither one had spared him a look. No one else probably existed for them in this room, Armin thought, biting his lips nervously for no reason.
āI welcome you all to the support group here today, Iām Dina.ā was her entrance speech. She emitted a calm and analysing aura. āThis is the first time an expert like me is doing this kind of consultationānamely, letting people with 'problematicā matters like you gather here and talk. You can consider it a test version, an experiment, and of course I will do my best to make it comfortable for everyone. There is a high chance that some of you will be advised to visit other āexperts of these fieldsā after one or two sessions. We first have to see whether you need more effective help than what we are going to do here. We want to specialize on problems that are rejected in society, but which you are indulging in. However, we mean the kind of issues that do not risk someone elseās life or dignity. You may rest assured that there is no rapist or murderer among us.ā
Armin had looked at Dina, first. Out of curiosity (and because he liked to observe his surroundings), he took in the general reaction of the others. Either they stared off into the distance with indifference in their eyes or they bore invisible holes into the floor. No one bothered to even pretend giving Dina as much attention as was appropriate. Armin shifted in his seat. He would rather be at home in his room right now, regretting his decision of having come here. Or, to be honest, he would rather be withā¦
Dina placed her clipboard on her lap, hands folded on top of it. Her back straightened and she smiled to the round. āThe purpose of these sessions are to have conversations with each of you about the issue youāre having. We want to help you find a way to come to peace where every party can be satisfied. For now, Iād like everyone to tell their name and age and explain their problem that brought them here. There are only two rules we have.ā Her expression darkened with earnesty for a second, though of course ā if anything ā only Armin had noticed that. She raised a hand and spread two fingers one after another as she counted, āOne, we do not judge. Two, everything that is said and done in this room, stays in this room.ā
Tightening silence surrounded them all, but a few mutterings and people repositioning themselves on their seats was pretty much approval enough for Dina, so it seemed.
She put on her kind smile once more as she faced the first person to her right. āWould you like to start?ā
With a shrug and a low āumā, the male introduced himself, āHey. Iām Marc. 16. And Iām constantly telling my girlfriend that sheās too fat and needs to lose weight. She is doing as Iām telling her, but now I think sheās slowly slipping into anorexia.ā Dina nodded and whipped her head to the next person that was the two-toned guy. While no one was supposed to comment on anything yet, Armin found the before mentioned male sending a slightly condemning look to the first guy. Which was rude, he said to himself in his mind.
āIām Jean,ā the two-toned boy said, āIām 17. My mother died a year ago. She was the most important person in my life. I found a Sugar Mommy who looks almost exactly like her. Iām calling her Mommy and am always being reminded of my own mother. I donāt actually want that because it makes me treat her harshly with my words. To be honest, I donāt give a shit about her, but she spoils me and I canāt get enough of it. And she looks like mom. Yeah, Iām pretty much taking advantage of her.ā
Dina acknowledged Jeanās input with yet another nod and silently gave permission for Arminās left neighbour to start. āYo. Iām Rooky. Not my real name, but Iād like you all to call me like that. 15. And Iām stealing money from my parents to buy alcohol and cigarettes with it. I canāt go a day without that stuff anymore. Itās shit, I know.ā
Jean blinked fast and peered at him indiscreetly, brows crease, it formed a frown on his forehead. How could he have the audacity to act like that when he himself had a problem just like everybody else?, Armin thought.
Dinaās nod had eventually reached him. Armin stiffened. āUh, hāhi. My name is Armin. Iām 16. And,ā He fiddled with the hem of his sleeve, unsure where to look. The bland floor and then Dinaās face seemed to be a good option for him. āIām having an affair with my best friendās father whoās divorced. Itās happening for a while now. My friend doesnāt know about it of course. It would destroy our friendship completely. However, I donāt think I wanna stop. But I am afraid of getting caught by him. Itās giving me anxiety.ā Even though it was a low petite scoff, Armin registered it and immediately shifted his eyes to Jean. Dina had noticed that too and was slightly narrowing her eyes at him.
Armin dismissed it very fast, though. Sooner or later Jean would understand that he wasnāt better than anyone else here.
It was the turn of Arminās right seatmate. āIām Duke. 18. Iām plucking my hair with my fingers. It isnāt as bad as that mental illness thatās behind it, justā¦ Well I do it sometimes when Iām feeling lonely because it feels good, and then I stop with it for a few times until it starts all over. There are small bald spots forming on my head, I know! Itās upsetting me.ā He inclined his head downwards. Armin resisted his natural curiosity and, out of decency, didnāt inspect the guyās hair. First stages of trichotillomania. Armin and his best friend Eren had to hold a presentation about it in psychology class once.
Next one was the raven-haired boy that had discarded Arminās existence like nothing. Even if Armin actually shouldnāt feel any differently because of it, it did create a pang in his chest. He felt offended, to be frank.
The guy started before Dina had nodded. āThe nameās Levi. 17. I wanna tell you right away that why Iām doing what Iām doing is for no special reason. Itās just happening and Iām not minding it.ā Armin had guessed that his voice would be of crude nature. But his actual tone certainly went beyond Arminās expectations. No single word of Leviās carried an ounce of regret, insecurity wasnāt his thing at all. And with a sharp coldness, tongue busy with the gum, he said, āIām fucking my uncle.ā
me: *is the writer of this thing* I wanna read more about it.
