#ark talks

Hello everyone! You can call me Ark :) I’m starting this account to document my Loki collection! I’ve been collecting since 2017, and I’ve accumulated a lot of stuff over the years, so I thought it would be fun to have an online archive for it! But I’ll also be posting some other things here and there.

I first became a fan back in 2017, but the first time I ever saw him was in 2012 when I saw the first Avengers movie. However, I was very young at the time and didn’t really remember him after watching the movie 😅 But watching Thor Ragnarok in 2017 is what really piqued my interest in him, so I started getting into the comics shortly after that, and I’ve been a fan ever since!

not to be overly dramatic about this and please forgive the forthcoming yap but i have to talk about this panel + a slightly weird trend i've seen in the fandom for a long time (but especially after the last chapter with a possible mention of sebastian's past).

it has long, long been established that sebstian did not exist before ciel summoned him. i am not saying this in a vague 'because love changed him' kind of way (even tho it did also do that but more on that later). i mean literally. ontologically. the being we know as sebastian, the protagonist of kuroshitsuji, came into existence near the beginning of the series of events being related to us by the manga, for and because of ciel, and everything - everything - we know about him since the moment of his manifestation in the human world has been a created facade for ciel's sole benefit.

i don't just mean the obvious things like his name or his job or his gender. i'm also talking about the way he looks, the way he talks, how he dresses, how he acts, how he treats people, the way he kills and what methods he uses, his 'aesthetic' and how he chooses to maintain it, his wants and goals, his tastes, his whole personality; all of it is completely unique to the character we are reading about now. he created all of it in a single moment and we watched.

sometimes i get the impression that people think of sebastian as always having existed, hanging out sebastian-ly in the dark ether, talking like he currently does, acting like he currently does, sometimes even looking like he currently does, caring about all the same things he currently cares about, with all the little personality quirks we like perfectly intact, just waiting to pop up in the human world like a jack-in-the-box.

that was not the case.

whatever it truly was - how it acted and spoke and what it desired and what it looked like and so on - are so far removed from our sebastian as to be unrecognizable as the same character. that former character stopped existing before we readers ever even so much as laid eyes on it - from the moment he manifested in front of ciel he had already completely changed his entire existence to suit what ciel perceived as a demon. he was quite literally born that day: fully formed, the galatea to ciel's pygmalion.

(now who's a cradle robber?)

sometimes sebastian talks about his former existence in such a way that tricks the reader into believing there had been true continuity - we know he has always liked cats! we know he has worked with witches before! he's been to schönbrunn palace and learned to waltz! but those miniscule details actually reveal nothing about the nature of the creature to which sebastian assigns those prior experiences - we can't help but retroactively apply an image of our sebastian in those situations even though we know, logically, that the being who did those things has passed on at least some of its memories* to its current incarnation, and nothing else.

(* this also requires the reader to take a demon at face value and believe his word when he says things like that. did he really live in the hapsburg court, or did he come into existence with the experience of a person who had lived in the hapsburg court because that suits his current aesthetic, or did he become that person the moment it was necessary for ciel? did he ever really work with witches (did witches even really exist?), or does ciel assume that demons must have worked with witches and thus sebastian certainly must confirm - of course i have. let me tell you all about this extremely stereotypical depiction that does not in any way challenge your view or expectations of me or other people that summon demons. anyways. my point is that he could be lying about literally everything he says about himself and we would not be able to tell because we don't really know him and there's no way to corroborate his anecdotes because he is the potentially unreliable narrator of his own story.)

what we do know for a fact is that sebastian's cinematic record starts from the moment he was born just like everyone else's - and for our sebastian, that was the moment our ciel first laid eyes on him, giving him form and function.

doesn't it just... drive you insane? it makes me dizzy. sebastian didn't just randomly choose ciel, or pick a master based on some pre-existing list of desires and show up, take-what-you-get. it was never a coincidence that they well suit each other, work perfectly together, understand each other like no other could. the brief period of time where sebastian had to learn to temper his strength and abilities was not a mistake or a remnant of his former self, it was his afterbirth. it was an extension of his coming into being, perfecting what raw materials ciel had created him from.

sebastian only exists at all because ciel wanted him to - exactly the way he is. every perfect strand of hair, every sweetly curled vowel, every whim and action we have ever seen has existed only for ciel. he was literally made for him in every sense of the word. he was born into the world wholy, entirely desired, down to the last eyelash and snarky joke.

(second monitor pretty privilege.)

i'm OBSESSED i feel high rn it really really reminds me of how i felt watching yuri on ice when it was coming out. i went in expecting vague BL ~vibes~ and i got. whatever the fuck

THIS WAS. i was NOT expecting manhwa-style black flag gangster x childhood best friend #forbiddenlove #masterandservant #bdsm BUT LIKE OKAY.

everything else was perfection too. matchablossom was promised and matchablossom was delivered on a silver platter. but maybe the best part of it all was