Million Dollar Listing New York Recap: How to Fail in Business Without Really Trying

Howdy Trashmii! Last week, Luis learned how to lowball a Schedule A price hike, Fredrik flexed his inner Andy Warhol, and Ryan had a bitch-off with that bitch Amy. Let’s get right to it, shall we? We open with Ryan getting attacked by Amy for not including her on the call with Sherif. “Neither of us has time to argue about this,” says Amy. Ryan says, “You’re the one that barged in here.” Amy says…

Million Dollar Listing New York Recap: It’s All About the Dough, Dummy

Hey Trashies! Previously on MDLNY, Luis f*cked up, Ryan fed a baby, and Fredrik sold half an old factory with breathtaking views of the side of a bridge. Let’s get to it, shall we? We open with Luis getting told off by Howard Lorber. He admits he should have been more forceful with his client. Remorseful Self-Bazoomba Grab emoji :-( Howard says, “You really need to think these things out. There’s…

Million Dollar Listing New York Recap: Purple Pain

Howdy Trashmii!  This week, we tune in for an epic test of endurance.  Just how much pain can our little Luis take in the pursuit of pleasure? It turns out a LOT, y’all — let’s take a gander… We open with Ryan looking over the inspection report, which he calls a novel. “What in the f*ck?” he moans. He gets Ward on the phone. There’s an offer on the way, he says, but first Ward must spend $25,000…

Million Dollar Listing New York Recap: A Bridge Too Near

Hey Trashies!  Here we are, at episode 4 already of this action-packed season of MDLNY.  Let’s get right to it, shall we? We open with Luis telling Ronita he wants to create his own line of emoji. She asks what his action would be. Wiggledy-finger Smileyface, of course! Jordan comes in to discuss the Williamsburg listing. Luis says it was messed up what he did — he made Luis look bad, and like he…

Million Dollar Listing New York Recap: Ain’t Buyin’ It, Baby

Hey Trashies! Happy to see me? I thought so… Here we are at episode 3 of MDLNY, and the fur is flying around Gotham like a bobcat vortex in a wind tunnel. Let’s get right to it, shall we? We open with Ryan at Astor Place, home of the prestigious Cooper Union school of art. He tells us John Jacob Astor was at one time the richest man in the US — “Something they’ll say about ME one day.” He’s…

Million Dollar Listing New York Recap: The Houseguys Get Real

Greetings, Trashies! Here we are, at the second installment of MDLNY, and things are already cranked up to a rolling boil. Let’s just jump right in, shall we? We open where we left off last week, with Luis exposing Ryan’s “lack of integrity” at the Metropolitan Tower penthouse. Ryan growls, “Back off, twerp.” He threatens to bring up ten instances when Luis could have done things differently.…

Million Dollar Listing New York Premiere Recap: Basketball and Apple Pie-in’

Hey Trashies! Welcome to season 5 of Million Dollar Listing New York. I’m honored to be your recapper, and very much looking forward to covering this season with you! Let’s just jump right in, shall we? We open with Ryan telling us how much he’s expanded over the past year. He and his team have surpassed $375 million dollars in sales, and have opened offices in Soho, Los Angeles, Miami, and the…