#ardynn

She let herself daydream for a moment that this was her life, now. Just her and Halsin, out amongst the trees and the river and the flowers. Nothing to do but gather a bit to eat, nap, enjoy each other’s company, and marvel at the world around them. Days like this, it was all too tempting to let the events of the world slip by like a drop of water in a fast-flowing river, passing by unnoticed.

She glanced over her shoulder at Halsin, who continued to sleep as a bear. She smiled to herself as she watched him. She loved him—she’d known that for days now, and her love had only grown in the days since he had shared his body with her and shown her more care and attention and passion than she thought possible—but she’d never tell him, of course. It would have to be a secret she cradled close to her heart, for now.

As she stood to join him again, she noticed several flowers blooming near the banks of the river, and several more in different colors and varieties farther on. A quick glance at Halsin told her he was still asleep, and likely wouldn’t wake for a while yet. Quietly, making use of her ranger stealth, she crept over to the flowers and began gathering them, careful to break their stems near the base and not rustle their petals too roughly.

She settled down near him with an arm full of flowers and slowly, methodically, began to weave and braid them together, a smile still on her lips as she worked. She hadn’t made flower crowns since her last visit to the wood elf clan near her home, during one of their many festivals, and that had been years ago. The first few twists were a little clumsy, but eventually she recalled the steps and was soon weaving flowers in simple braids with ease.

The crown finished, she sat up on her knees and carefully, oh so carefully, placed it on Halsin’s ursine head. The crown wasn’t big enough for a bear, so she simply placed it, crooked, on the top of his head, circling one ear.

Halsin cracked one eye open as she settled back on her haunches. She couldn’t help but laugh, noticing the clever look in his eye.

“And how long have you been awake, Halsin?” she teased, grinning as he made a big show of stretching out his arms and yawning wide, his tongue lolling out. He chose not to even acknowledge her question.

He sat up, looking like a bear in a children’s book with his paws between his half-curled legs, and tilted his head slightly. The flower crown slid off to one side, caught only by his round ear. She giggled as she sat up on her knees again to fix it.

“Careful, my heart,” she said. “You don’t want to lose your gift.”

He looked up, his nose sniffing the air, probably trying to scent the flowers. As she settled back again, he leaned in, pressing his big, wet nose to her cheek and snuffling her skin. She laughed again, his breath ticklish on her cheek, and held his furry face between her hands, mushing his cheeks slightly.

“Does that mean you like it?” she asked. She knew she could cast speak with animals and ask him—she almost always had it ready and active—but the one-sided conversation amused her. He bumped his nose to her cheek again as a response.

She let him go as he sat up, nearly to his full height, and lifted a heavy paw toward his head. He pawed at his ear, as if to adjust the flower crown or preen or something to that effect, but his claw caught one of the loops. As his paw came down, the flower crown broke and fell, half-unraveling, at his feet.

They both looked at it for a second before Halsin quickly transformed, returning to his usual tall, broad self with an already apologetic expression.

“My apologies, my heart,” he said, gathering up the braided flowers. “I didn’t mean—”

“Oh, I know,” she said, smiling. She leaned in to kiss his cheek, enjoying the way his eyes lit up as she did so, and carefully took the flowers from his hands. “Don’t worry, it’s just a simple craft.“

“Will you remake it?” he asked. She looked up, surprised.

“Remake it?” she asked. “Why?”

“You made it for me, did you not?” he asked. “I will wear it, if you like. And I will make one for you to match.”

The idea was simultaneously silly and sweet. Ardynn tried to picture the two of them returning to camp with flower crowns, like children in a village after a day of play. It should be embarrassing, but with Halsin, it seemed as natural as breathing.

And, she had to admit, she was a little enamored with the idea of him wearing something she had made for him.

“Very well,” she said. She handed him the rest of the extra flowers, taking only two for herself to fix his crown. “Because you asked.”

They worked in comfortable silence, Ardynn glancing over every now and again to watch his hands as they braided the flowers. He did so with practiced ease, as though this were something he did often. His braids were strong and intricate, the flowers woven tightly together. In truth, it made her simple crown look clumsy in comparison. She was almost embarrassed when she finally held it up for him to inspect, after several moments of her trying to strengthen it and make it look neater.

“Will this suffice?” she asked. “It’s not nearly as good as—”

But his eyes lit up again and he grinned. “It is beautiful, my heart. As lovely as the hands that made it.” He set the crown he was working on aside and bent his head closer to hers, an open invitation.

Ardynn bit her lip against a smile and placed the flower crown carefully on his head, brushing some of his hair behind his pointed ear as she adjusted the crown to fit. When he lifted his head to gaze at her, their faces only inches apart, she couldn’t help but appreciate how the color of the flowers, all white, yellow, pink, purple, and blue, looked in his earth-toned hair, against his suntanned skin. He was made for flower crowns.

“How do I look?” he murmured, keeping his face near hers.

She didn’t even bother to look at the flower crown again, instead getting lost in his hazel-eyed gaze. “Like a dream that only Mielikki or Silvanus could bless me with.”

He chuckled and closed the distance for a kiss, unable to resist running the tip of his tongue along the seam of her lips. “As sweet as honey, my heart,” he said softly as he pulled away, though whether he meant her words or her lips she wasn’t certain.

He reached for the flower crown he’d been working on and offered it to her. “May I?”

It was a beautiful thing, a work of art. He’d selected white, yellow, and blue and had woven them together in a repeating pattern. In his hands, the flowers seemed almost more alive than when she had picked them, though maybe that was just her affection for him coloring her view rather than him using any druidic power.

“It’s stunning, Halsin,” she said. She scooted closer, nearly knees to knees with him, to let him place it on her head. “Thank you.”

“No need for thanks,” he said, his voice warm and soft. He settled the crown on her head with all the gentle reverence of a groom with a bridal crown. It made Ardynn’s heart race to even think such traitorous thoughts, completely antithetical to Halsin’s views on relationships and partners. But she couldn’t deny the gentleness of his touch or the tenderness in his eyes. He lifted her chin with the tips of his fingers, appraising her quietly as she wore his new gift.

“How do I look?” she whispered, caught up once more in his gaze.

“As though all of nature has given its beauty to you,” he murmured back. He chuckled, his smile turning a little crooked. “And that was before the flower crown.”

He leaned in again, capturing her lips with his, and kissed her deeply. She lost herself in that kiss, in the taste of his tongue, still holding hints of the berries and nuts they’d foraged earlier that morning, in the heat of his skin, warmed by the sun, in the scent of the flowers that mingled between them, woven into crowns on their heads. She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve the attentions and affections of a man like him, but as long as she had them, she would never take them for granted.

When she finally pulled away, breathless, she saw the flower crown on his head again and giggled. “You’re dangerous in that crown, you know.”

“Am I?” he teased. “Perhaps I ought to wear it to our next battle, then.”

“That’s not what I meant—” she cut herself off as a thought occurred to her. “Wait. Would you?”

“Why not? It is a gift, is it not? Made by skilled hands.” Here he lifted one of her hands to kiss the palm, and then her fingers. “Though I suppose it wouldn’t last a fierce battle, would it?”

“With my mediocre flower crown skills? I’ll be surprised if it lasts the walk back to camp tonight.”

“Then I shall treasure it while it lasts,” he said. “And I would not say no to more flower crowns in the future, should we ever find more time to make them.”

“A future of flower crowns?” Ardynn asked. It seemed so ridiculous, given everything they’d seen and fought and had yet to fight in the city. But the suggestion, the dream, felt as refreshing as a breath of fresh air out here in these woods. It seemed to restore a bit of her spirit, her resolve to fight on. If she could just save the city, then she could have days of making flower crowns for this giant, gentle, wonderful, endearingly sweet man whom she had grown to love. A future with flower crowns…

She took his hand with another smile. “I’d like that, I think.”

🔮 BG3 Oneshots 🔮

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🔮 gale fics masterlist - Gale x You/Reader or Gale x gn!Tav oneshots ✶ ao3 ✶ tags: gale dekarios, gale of waterdeep

🎻 meridan “dani” zavrai fics ✶ mephistopheles tiefling ✶ college of lore bard ✶ entertainer ✶ chaotic good ✶ romanced gale ✶ ao3 ✶ tags: dani, meridan zavrai

🏹 ardynn harrow fics ✶ half wood elf ✶ beastmaster ranger ✶ outlander ✶ neutral good ✶ romanced halsin ✶ ao3 ✶ tags: ardynn, ardynn harrow

⚔️ freyr fics ✶ human ✶ eldritch knight fighter ✶ the haunted one ✶ chaotic evil > true neutral ✶ romanced minthara ✶ ao3 ✶ tags: freyr

🐉 Dragon Age Fics 🐉

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Cullen x Anyla Lavellan fics

For the Hand of the Inquisitor - Cullen must win a tourney (Part 2, 3, 4, 5) (ao3)

Josephine x Everett Trevelyan fics

Gold and Diamond Promises - Everett plans a proposal! (ao3)

Love and Loss - Trespasser ending after chatting with Solas (ao3)

Solas x Iren Lavellan

Dark Future, Dark Reality - Solavellan during In Hushed Whispers (Part 2) (ao3)

In the Company of Wolves - Solavellan during Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts (ao3)

Emmrich Volkarin Fics

Don't Look Back - Short fic about the lich scene

Deep Past the Heart - Longer fic about the lich scene (ao3)

🪐 Rogue Trader Fics 🪐

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Love in the Time of Commorragh - Heinrix x OC (von Valancius, but she's a Master of Whispers) in Commorragh (ao3) Regret, Resolve - Heinrix x von Valancius after a warp jump attack (ao3)

🖋️ Various Sexy Poems 🖋️

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Tav's Note in Gale's Poetry Journal - Poem about Gale from BG3 Divine Confession - Poem about Ashur/The Viper from DATV Lady von Valancius's Notes to Herself - Poem about Heinrix from Rogue Trader

🎁 Birthday Fics 🎁

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Resolve - Rolan x Tav in Act 2 (gift for @orangekittyenergy) Daydreams - Rolan x Tav in Act 3 (gift for @orangekittyenergy) Love Letters from Wyll Ravengard - two letters from Wyll (gift for @callmethebrightness) Love Letters - letters between Alistair and Lucy Amell (written with @callmethebrightness for @elspethdekarios) A Room in Redcliffe - Alistair x Amell, set after DAI (Part 2) (gift for @elspethdekarios) A Conversation with the Inquisitor - Alistair x Mahariel, Cullen x Lavellan (gift for @weaveandwood) A Crow's Work is Never Done - Lucanis x Rook, post game (gift for @cheerysmores) On the Run - Western AU Gale x Tav (gift for @magspeaches) Unexpected Reunion - Modern Day Gale x Astarion (gift for @unforgiving-girl) A Birthday for Manfred - Emmrich x Rook Thorne (ao3) (gift for @sorceresssundries) Midnight Snack - Alistair x Cousland (gift for @alsoika) The First Mark - Marazhai x von Valancius (gift for @orangekittyenergy) The Perfect Canvas - Solas x Lavellan (gift for @elspethdekarios) Before the Ball - Cullen x Trevelyan (gift for @viesalias) Tracking Down the Commander - Cullen x Lavellan (gift for @weaveandwood)

🔍 Deep Dives 🔎

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Long posts that sparked my hyperfixation and had me red-string-theory connecting lore dots until I landed on a narrative that made sense in my head

tags to other metas: bg3 meta, bg3 lore, bg3 discourse, deep dive

BG3 Deep Dives

Gale and Mystra (and Mystra, and Mystra...) - Meta post that dives into Forgotten Realms lore to discuss Mystra's multiple lives/deaths, how Gale fits into the timeline, when Mystra visited Gale, etc Shadow Curse Events series - Meta posts that dive into Ketheric's descent into Sharran zealotry, his war against the Harpers and Druids, and the first 40 days of the shadow curse. Illithid Souls series - Meta posts that dive into the D&D lore about illithids and souls before turning to look at how the game uses/changes that lore by examining Tab/Durge, Orpheus, Karlach, and Gale after they become mind flayers. When was Gale Chosen? - Another timeline combing Faerûn lore with Gale's timeline, along with a poll where a couple hundred people voted on Gale's age when he was Chosen. (not a deep dive, but could be helpful) Gale's Netherese Orb - First of a (hopeful) 3 posts about Gale's orb as a chronic pain condition

Dragon Age Loreposts

The Titans, the Evanuris, and the Blight - A quick post answering how the murals in DATV explain the connections between the titans, Evanuris, and the Blight How to Fix DAO for PC - Not a lorepost lol but very helpful for new players because DAO is broken without this fix DAO Modlist and Modding Guide - Also not a lorepost but it does link to my modding guide so it's still helpful

📚 Ongoing Multichapter Fics 📚

A Macabre Masquerade Masterlist

Plot: One year after defeating the Netherbrain and saving the city, Dani and Gale receive a mysterious invitation to a masquerade ball. The invitation specifically invites them to participate as the Heroes of Baldur's Gate. However, when they get there, they soon realize they aren't the only Heroes of Baldur's Gate that got invited.

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In Fathoms Below Masterlist

Plot: The island city of Nautera disappeared over 4500 years ago, if it ever existed at all. Now not a single, legitimate record of Nautera exists, save for one. The Nauterran Account. Long thought lost, it has recently been retrieved from the depths of Candlekeep’s archives and placed into the capable hands of one Gale Dekarios. With the Nauterran Account in hand and an eclectic team of Baldurians and other allies mounting an official expedition, Gale journeys to find the ruins of Nautera…but hopes to find so much more.

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Bound by Blood Masterlist

Plot: Seventeen-year-old Nyssa Surana never expected to find herself a Grey Warden - let alone one of three surviving Wardens, one of which is her own cousin, Velle Tabris. She's the last person anyone would ever choose to save the world. Young, inexperienced, deeply anxious, and only just out of the Circle Tower for the first time in a decade, she's convinced she's as unlikely a hero as unlikely heroes come. But someone has to save Ferelden from the Fifth Blight...and keep her cousin out of trouble...and try not to fall in love with the charming Alistair Theirin, all at the same time. Three impossible tasks, but she's determined to succeed, even with the odds stacked against her.

Ardynn and Halsin had finally settled into their new home in the Reclaimed Lands, making a home out of a haphazard cabin that was formerly the ruins of a farmstead. To say that Ardynn loved her new life here was an understatement. She and Halsin had worked together to patch up the walls of the cabin, using a combination of old boards and climbing vines, mortal ingenuity and natural solutions. Thaniel had helped raise the collapsed roof of one room by growing a tree inside the structure, allowing dappled sunlight to stream in through the branches of the tree and the hole in the ceiling. Their home was a living home, built up and bending around a healthy tree and its roots, with flowering vines creeping up the sides and sunlight streaming in through the windows and roof. It was everything she dreamed it could be.

On this day, Ardynn was continuing to work on their home, arranging furniture and organizing their few (but growing) personal possessions. Halsin was out with the children, ambling about as a bear to give them rides on his back and play with them, and she didn't expect him back for some time. She sat cross-legged on the floor, folding away her clothes and his, thinking idly to herself that they would have to obtain warmer clothes for the winter.

After a moment, she picked up Halsin's leather and green fabric shirt, running her thumb over the patterns carved into the leather. He had taken the Emerald Grove emblem from the front a few days ago, so the front looked almost...empty. She wondered if there was something she could replace it with.

As she was examining the shirt, she noticed other markings she'd never noticed before. Pressed into the leather, near the collar, were little magic symbols, runes that were somehow familiar. After a moment of studying them, she realized they made up an enchantment to disappear or morph the shirt during his wildshapes, so that when he turned into a bear, or perhaps something even larger, or even stopped wildshaping halfway through to become a kind of hybrid man, the shirt wouldn't just rip into shreds.

She wondered...

She glanced over her shoulder, as if he might be walking into the door at any moment, and then stood up. She pulled off her own shirt and then hesitated, standing in nothing but her trousers, feeling silly all of a sudden. But the curiosity was greater, and she pulled Halsin's shirt easily over her head.

For a moment, it was comically large on her, the armholes alone big enough to fit several arms of her size instead of one. But then, just as she suspected, the shirt shrank down, fitting itself to her body until it pressed against her breasts and ribs. A perfect fit.

She moved to stand in front of a dingy-looking glass they had recovered from some wreckage a few days ago, turning this way and that. She had to admit, she looked pretty good with Halsin's shirt hugging her body. Add a few leather arm straps and maybe...

In the looking glass, she saw movement near the open front door and whirled just in time to see Halsin ducking into their home. She froze and then he froze, staring at her with eyes wide with surprise.

She didn't know what to say, and she could feel her face getting as red as her hair. This had to be the most embarrassing thing she'd ever done in front of him, bar none. But she couldn't move or unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth.

He blinked once, twice, and then lifted a hand as if going to gesture to her. "My heart. Is that..."

"I can explain," she blurted out, and that just made things worse because no, she couldn't actually explain. She wasn't just wearing his shirt, she was wearing his shirt that was now shrunk down and shaped as if it was tailor-made to her body.

Halsin closed the door behind him--something they rarely did except when they didn't want to be disturbed--and took a few slow steps forward. He stopped just a foot away, looking down at her. She held her breath as his eyes roved over her form, following the patterns on the leather and fabric as they curved over and around her body.

"It suits you," he said quietly. Huskily. Her eyes widened slightly as she realized that the look in his eyes was no longer confusion or surprise but...hunger. He reached up and skimmed his fingertips along her side, causing her to shiver. "In fact, I think you wear it better than I do."

She swallowed, trying to keep track of her thoughts. "I was just...I saw the enchantment runes and I..."

He didn't seem to hear her. He smoothed his hand down her arm, seemingly distracted by her. "I am tempted to let you keep it. But, I fear, it would become a distraction."

"A distraction?" she breathed.

A faint smile graced his lips and he leaned in, bringing his lips down close to her ear. "I shall be unable to think of anything but you in my clothing, my heart. Even now, it is difficult to focus."

Her heart began to race in her chest. As he pulled away to look down at her, she met him gaze for gaze and found herself torn between wanting to diffuse the situation (it was the middle of the day) and wanting to tempt him further.

Her baser nature won, in the end.

She tilted her head, trailing her fingers along the bottom hem of the shirt. "Should I...take it off?"

She felt a little proud of the way his eyes followed her fingers, only to glance back to up to meet hers, hazel eyes already faintly glowing with a thin ring of gold.

"Yes."

~*~*~

More pictures to cool everyone off 🥰

She hurried past the campfire, past poor Yenna who had slunk back into camp after hiding from Mizora and her demons, past Gale and Astarion as they followed her with their questioning eyes. She wanted a secluded place, a high place, but this city was the antithesis of secluded. Every rooftop just made you more visible. She pushed on past Karlach, heading for the heavy doors of an abandoned building just next to her, hoping whatever was in there would suffice.

“Soldier,” Karlach started to say, but Ardynn flung out a staying hand.

“Just—give me time to think,” she snapped. She yanked open the heavy doors to the abandoned building and stepped inside, slamming them closed after her. She was a little disappointed when she saw the interior.

An old chapel of some kind. Hewn stone and carved statuary, metal candelabrums, simple wooden benches and banisters carved from hard, unyielding wood. Everything dead and lifeless, and very hard to destroy.

She kicked over one of the benches but it gave her no satisfaction. Her breath grew labored, almost frenzied as she paced up and down the aisle of the little chapel, her dagger in hand, wondering, in her state of half-frenzy, that if she couldn’t find anything to tear to shreds, she might resort to turning the dagger on herself. 

The doors opened again and she whirled, holding the dagger at the ready to stab or to throw, whichever might be the case. But the figure who stepped inside was no enemy. It was Halsin. His eyes fell on the dagger and he slowly held up his hands in a gesture of calm surrender.

She said nothing at first and it took her a moment to lower her blade. She turned away, pacing back up the aisle toward the stone altar. She wanted to tell him to go away, but in the next breath she wanted him to stay, so she said nothing.

He apparently took her silence for consent, and closed the doors behind him, quietly approaching until they were only a few feet apart, while she continued to restlessly pace to and fro in front of the alter, separated from him by a few wooden steps and the carved banisters.

“I’m here if you need me,” he said. “Just say the word.”

“I don’t know what I need,” she said, passing her dagger to her other hand. She turned then, descending down two of the steps and pointing the dagger at him, not threatening, just gesturing. “No, I know—I need everyone in this gods damned city to stop toying with me and everyone I care about. It’s too much, Halsin,” here her voice cracked and took on a tone of desperation. “I can’t have every day be like this—with Gortash and Orin pitting us against each other like we’re captured pawns on a lanceboard, and Orin stealing and torturing us one by one. And Mizora—gods—“

She choked on her own rage and slammed her dagger into the carved banister at her left, the blade sinking only point-deep into the hardwood. She grit her teeth and tried to yank it out again, but it stuck fast. She pulled harder, fiercer this time, and it gave way with enough force to send her stumbling down the last two steps and driving her to her knees, the dagger flying from her hand and skittering across the stone into some cobwebbed corner. 

The fall nearly broke her. She pressed her hands into the stone floor, panting, almost desperate for air, her body trembling with the rush of emotion. Weak. Stupid. Ineffective. Naive. Gods, could she do nothing right? She slammed her fist into the stone, gritting her teeth against a groan when the pain jittered up from her hand up into her arm and shoulder. 

Halsin was immediately before her, kneeling and placing a hand on her back. “Ardynn—“

“Is this what it feels like?” she interrupted, lifting her head and pressing a hand to her chest, clenching her fist in the fabric of her shirt. She felt like she couldn’t get enough air, as though her lungs were constricted and every harsh breath was too shallow, choking her. “For you? I’m so angry, I can hardly breathe. Like there’s—some monster inside me that is—bigger than this body can hold—and it—it needs out, fast.”

Halsin studied her with a face full of concern. She shook her head, sweat slipping down from her temples.

“Not like ceremorphosis,” she panted. “Like this little body wasn’t meant to contain all of—of this.” She flung a hand out wildly. “One person can’t be this angry or desperate, or they’d shatter.” She pressed her clenched fist harder against her chest, grimacing as the next several breaths came in short, harsh hiccups of air. “Gods I can’t breathe—“

“Ardynn, look at me,” Halsin said. He cradled the back of her neck with one hand and held up his other hand between them. “You have to breathe deeply, or you will faint. Do you understand me? Focus here. Breathe with me, on my count.”

She focused on his hand, watching his fingers as he counted to five while breathing in, and then five again while holding his breath, and then five again as he slowly blew out his breath. She tried to mimic him, her breaths stuttering and shaking, until at last she could match him breath for breath. It wasn’t until she felt like her lungs had relaxed again that she noticed his hand at her neck was icy cold, a bit of ice magic maintained there to cool her overheated body.

“Better?” he asked quietly when she was no longer gasping for air. He began gently massaging some of the tension at the base of her neck. 

“Only a little.” She could breathe again, but she still felt wrong, constricted, like all her emotions were still trapped inside her with nothing to release them. His breathing exercise had helped, but only so much. She pressed both palms against the cold stone of the floor between them, trying to ground herself. “You never answered my question. Is this what it’s like for you?”

Halsin settled on the stone floor, seating himself near her and propping his arm on one bent knee. “Sometimes,” he said quietly, now rubbing into her back, both soothing and firm. “There are times when the blood rages or…burns with desire, as you’ve seen. But changing your shape doesn’t always release you from your rage. Trust me. You simply rage in a different body. A more dangerous body.”

“But what can I do?” she asked. “If I was outside the city, I’d...I don't know." She thought about it, picturing in her mind what seemed like it would be cathartic, helpful. If she were back in nature, where she felt like she belonged.

"I would claw my hands into the earth until I struck stone," she said. "Or I’d climb a tree until I was breathless and hidden by the leaves. Or I’d plunge into a lake and swim deep down and scream until all the air had left my lungs and forced me back up again." She looked at him again. "What am I supposed to do here—tear the buildings down brick by brick? I dare not dive into the river here, with all the garbage that flows into it. I must do something or I’ll return to Mizora and try to strangle her, and then we’ll all suffer for it.”

Still rubbing her back, Halsin glanced quickly around the chapel. He must have come to the same conclusions she had, seeing only unyielding stone, metal, and carved wood. His gaze fell back on hers while she struggled to pull together some semblance of composure.

“Then use me,” Halsin said. 

She stared at him, taken aback. She straightened slightly, sitting on her knees, and regarded him warily. “What does that mean?”

“I said before that changing your shape does not give you release,” he said. “But action does. Running, climbing, fighting…” He fiddled gently with her earlobe, tracing the curve of her ear up to the sensitive tip, causing her to shiver slightly. “Laying with someone.”

She blew out a slightly frustrated breath, though her cheeks were already warm from his touch. That was his solution? “Halsin. I’m too distracted to be good company for you just now.”

“That is not what I meant. I’m not suggesting this for my own benefit.” He took one of her hands, turning it so that her palm faced outward, parallel with him, and ran his thumb over the edge of one of her nails. “You want to claw something—claw into me.”

He curled her fingers into a fist. “You wish to beat against something, then beat your fists against me.” He pulled her fist to his chest, as if showing her where to land her punches.

“You’re suggesting fighting, not laying,” she said, though she didn’t move her hand from his chest. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

He smiled crookedly. “I can take it. These smooth nails are not so dangerous as the claws of a wildcat or a panther.” He sobered slightly, his smile fading. “I am serious, Ardynn. You want to destroy something and you don’t at the same time. With me, you can do as you please, and you will be safe. You will always be safe with me. You need release—seek it in me. Use me as you see fit.”

She could only stare, her heart racing in her chest. It shouldn’t make sense, but it did. Even the mere suggestion of being with him, of having something to do, of sinking her nails into his skin, had cooled some of the anger in her chest, or at least redirected it. But she felt guilty and embarrassed too. She was thinking about intentionally hurting him, drawing blood or bruising him. It was one thing when she got caught up in the moment and didn’t realize she’d scratched him, but to begin that way…?

She uncurled her fist and pressed her hand flat against his chest, near his heart. She watched her fingers tremble for a moment before she bent them, pressing her nails into the pliable leather of his camp shirt. 

“Any way I see fit?” she asked, meeting his gaze, uncertain. 

“Any way you see fit,” he repeated, his voice already husky.

She clenched her teeth and pressed harder against his chest, pushing him to lie on his back against the cool stone of the chapel. As he settled there, she straddled him and leaned in to kiss him, a deep, searching kiss that he returned with equal passion, until it left her desperate for more.

“Are you sure?” she asked one final time, murmuring against his lips. 

She felt his rumbling chuckle in her entire body. “I am. I am yours, Ardynn. Do as you wish.”

———

In the end, despite her uncertainty before, she had used her nails, and her teeth besides. Halsin had encouraged and coaxed her into something like a focused frenzy, a controlled passion fueled by the energy her anger had given her. When she’d sunk her teeth into the thick muscle between his neck and shoulder, he’d encouraged her with his deep voice and his hands on her thighs. When she’d dug her nails into his bare chest, he hadn’t even flinched, even as she felt a twinge of guilt for even attempting it. As he’d said, he kept himself there to be used, following her direction or her whims, until she, wanting so much more from him, had all but begged him to take her.

He had more than obliged, shifting their bodies so that she was beneath him, the weight of him pressing her into the stone as he rocked into her. He’d nuzzled his lips against the soft skin of her neck and pinched the lobe of her ear between his teeth and dug his fingers into her skin, careful at times not to grip too tightly while also encouraging her through rumbling growls of pleasure or husky whispers to not be afraid to rake her nails against his skin. With him back in control, she lost herself to the pleasure he gave her, finding at last an outlet for all the tangled, knotted-up, thorny emotions that had threatened to overwhelm her just minutes (or hours?) prior.

Now, spent, she lay panting beneath him, gazing half-listlessly at her handiwork. She ran her fingertips gently over the marks she could see in the dim candlelight of the abandoned chapel. Bite marks, some fading, some bruising, wherever her teeth had found purchase on his taut muscles. Red scratch marks, raised welts in lines of four or five, curving, sometimes criss-crossing across his skin. A few rare lines were dotted with the tiniest beads of blood. The worst must be on his back, but she couldn’t see it at the moment. For all his encouragement to use her “claws,” she had held back until he’d taken over. After that, she had gotten perhaps too carried away.

He shifted, lifting his weight off her and making to move away, but she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him back down. “No,” she mumbled. “Lie here for a moment. Against me.”

“I could crush you,” he murmured, brushing a kiss against her temple. Even now, he held most of his weight off her, distributed to his arms and knees.

She pressed her face into his neck. “You won’t crush me. Lie here. I don’t want you to go too far yet.”

She felt his sigh ruffled her hair, but he submitted to her request. He folded his arms beneath her head, leaning his head against his arm, and settled his body against hers, tangling their legs together. He was heavy, at least twice her weight or more in pure height and muscle, but she welcomed the weight of him against her, even if it made breathing just a little bit harder.

She kept her arms wrapped around him, her hands gently seeking out the markings she’d made on his body where her eyes couldn’t see beyond his thick-muscled shoulder. She contemplated the marks silently as he nuzzled his nose against her cheek.

“Does it hurt?” she asked, tracing one raised line on his back. “What I did to you?”

“It is nothing that will not heal, given time,” he said. “But no. Nothing hurts any more than an insect bite would.”

She didn't know whether to believe him or not. “Still…I should heal you…”

“Perhaps,” he murmured, touching his forehead against her temple. “But I think I would like to bear the markings for a day or two anyway.”

She turned her head towards his, nearly bumping noses with him before he lifted his head to give her room. “Why? We’ve more battles ahead of us tomorrow. I want to find where Orin has taken Lae’zel as soon as possible.”

“A few scratches and bruises will not hinder me in battle,” he said, smiling slightly. “My armor covers most of it, but I would show off the rest with pride. Unless, of course, it embarrasses you.”

“No, of course not,” she said, though maybe it did embarrass her, a little. Of all the people in camp, she sometimes felt she was the least interesting as a sexual partner, which made it all the more surprising that Halsin had reciprocated her interest. Then again, Halsin was also awakening plenty of new desires and ideas in her, now that they were together...

The more she thought about it, the more she rather liked the idea that Halsin would show off some of the scratches she'd made. None of her companions would say anything, though that didn’t stop some of them from wearing their amusement plainly on their faces. She could handle that. And if Halsin considered them marks to be proud of, then she guessed she could think of them that way too.

“What of you?” he asked, bending his head against to press a small kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Do you require healing?”

“Erm…” She had a few bruises, to be sure. The stone floor in particular was more unforgiving than hard earth, and Halsin’s grip was sometimes stronger than intended. But she was used to that. There were, however, other…new pains that had left her little more sore than usual, the result of a few pleasures Halsin had granted at her request. 

“I might be sore in the morning,” she said, flushing despite herself. She was sore almost every morning after being with Halsin. She ought to be used to it now. “But it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

He chuckled, his laughter rumbling deep in his chest. He didn’t believe her. “Yes, but it is as you said. We still have battles ahead of us. And out of all of us, we need you at top form.”

He shifted his weight off her, settling just at her side, and laid a hand on her waist. As he whispered the words for the healing spell, the blue glow of healing magic illuminated the air between them. She felt the magic settle into her skin and spread through her body, bringing with it the same cooling relief as usual. She was left feeling slightly chilled but no longer sore. She shivered slightly and moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him and tucking herself into his side.

“Cold?” he asked, gathering her close. “We can get dressed and return to our bedrolls.”

“No.” She held on tighter. “I don’t want to be anywhere where Mizora can leer at me right now. You are warmth enough.”

She could sense his smile even though she couldn’t see it. “Very well. But if you get cold, I can always change into a bear. The fur is warmer.”

She considered for a moment. He had a point. His bear form would radiate twice as much heat, not to mention the warmth of his fur and the fact that she could curl up in the crook of his body and practically hide from the chill of the air. But perhaps another time.

She shook her head. “Not right now,” she said. “I want this. Skin to skin.”

Vulnerable, yet safe. Maybe it was a bad idea. Orin had already taken one of them, and they had only barely appeased her by agreeing to murder Gortash first. But surely the others would keep decent watch, right? And they had a damned devil in their camp, now. 

“Very well,” he said softly. “Skin to skin. Now sleep. I will be here when you wake.”

“Okay,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “Thank you, Halsin. For…everything tonight.”

She felt him kiss her forehead before leaning his cheek against her head. “There is no need to thank me, my heart. I am only glad I could give you what you needed.”

“You are everything I need,” she murmured. “And will ever need.”

Ardynn paused, surveying the room again. No sign of the tall druid anywhere. She got up and peered into the bunk room where Art Cullagh lay sleeping. Not there either. She frowned, retreating back into the main room, crossing to where Jaheira was. Isobel had joined her at her table and they were sharing a light meal and soft conversation.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Ardynn said, smiling apologetically. “Have either of you seen Halsin? I was hoping to ask him something.”

“Ah, the Archdruid?” Jaheira asked. She waved her hand absently. “He is upstairs somewhere. The children were getting underfoot and he agreed to entertain them up there.”

“I believe they’re playing a game,” Isobel said. “I do hope he’s keeping them out of my room. I locked the door, but…” She shrugged.

A game? Ardynn glanced up at the balcony that wrapped around the entire main room, doors leading to other rooms. She didn’t immediately see Halsin, but she did spy one of the tiefling children scurrying from one room to the next, smothering their giggles in their hands.

“Thank you,” Ardynn said. “I’ll leave you to your dinner and...make sure the children aren’t invading your room, Isobel.”

She ascended the stairs up to the second floor, nearly running into one of the children, Mirkon, the moment she stepped onto the landing. 

“Oh! Sorry, miss!” He started to move around her and stopped. “Wait. Have you come to play with us, too?”

Ardynn crouched down to Mirkon’s level, giving him a smile. “That depends. What are we playing?”

“Everyone’s playing hide and seek! Only, we’ve changed the rules.” Mirkon giggled. “Mister Halsin is the one hiding, and the rest of us have to find him. We have to be very, very quiet about it though, because once we find him, we hide with him. Last one to find him loses.”

Ardynn tilted her head. It couldn’t be that hard to find Halsin, could it? He was as tall as a house. Yet, when she looked around the top floor, counting the children she saw hurrying quietly from one spot to the next (one of them peeked into a box that was certainly much too small to hold Halsin, to her amusement) she counted all the tiefling children that had made it to Last Light. Umi, Ide, Mirkon, and Mattis.

No Mol. Ardynn still hadn’t found Mol. She hoped she was all right.

So four children looking for one man and not succeeding. Either the children just weren’t very good at seeking, or Halsin had found a very clever hiding spot. She supposed he might also be cheating, but in the short time she had come to know him, he didn’t seem the type.

Mirkon looked around furtively before leaning in to whisper, “You don’t have any ideas about where he might be, do you?”

Ardynn made a show of thinking. “Hmm. Well, he must be somewhere on the second floor. And he must be somewhere that can hide a very big person.” She tapped her cheek, pretending to ponder. “Have you checked under every bed?”

Mirkon gasped. “He can fit under there? I have to go check now.” He immediately dashed away, disappearing into one of the other rooms. Ardynn smiled to herself and got back to her feet.

Never would she have thought she would have to track down Halsin…again. She walked around the landing, peering into each room as the children went in and out. She supposed he probably could be hiding under someone’s bed, but then the children would have found him by now. Something else then…

She stepped into one of the rooms, peering around at all the furniture. Her eyes landed on a particularly large wardrobe with double doors, nearly tall enough to reach from floor to low ceiling. One of the doors was ever so slightly ajar. A hint. Perhaps even an invitation.

She turned her gaze away, pretending to do a sweep of the room, looking anywhere but the wardrobe, but keeping her ears sharp. There. It was subtle, quiet, but she heard the telltale creak weight on of wood. Not from the floorboards—Last Light Inn was plenty full of creaking floorboards—but something close. The tenor was just slightly different.

Still pretending to look around, she moved slowly closer and closer to the wardrobe. Finally she paused in front of it, staring at the crack between the doors. She could see nothing from where she stood except darkness. Her heart started to race a little in her chest as she reached for one of the small iron handles—

Only to stop. Why was she so nervous? This was silly. Why was she playing the children’s games when she had plans to make? She hesitated, staring at the wardrobe door.

Behind her, the door to the room flew open with a bang and she whirled, hand nearly to her dagger before her mind caught up with her. It was one of the other kids, Mattis.

“What the—oh, it’s you. I was hoping it was Bear Man.” Mattis looked around the room a moment before shaking his head. “I could have sworn…” He peeked under the bed and then behind one of the curtains before leaving the room by another door, walking out onto the balcony outside.

Ardynn pressed a hand to her chest, closing her eyes and trying to calm her pounding heart. Honestly, she had been less frightened when she played hide and seek with Oliver and his terrifying shadow “parents.” This was getting ridiculous.

She opened her eyes to another creak of wood behind her, only to see out of the corner of her vision a bark-clad arm. Before she could react or even make a noise, the arm curled around her waist and pulled her backward, into the depths of the wardrobe, the door swinging shut and enclosing her in darkness.

She wriggled out of his grip, turning to face him, cheeks blazing hot. “Hal—“

He pressed his fingers to her lips, silencing her. There was a mischievous glimmer in his hazel eyes, but he shook his head, lifting one finger to his own lips. He pointed toward a thin line of light, the seam between the wardrobe doors.

Ardynn heard the sound of light, short footsteps. The footsteps of a child. She and Halsin bent their heads closer together, peering through the crack in the doors. Just outside, the lavender-skinned girl, Ide, stepped into view. She frowned, looking around the room. When her orange gaze swept toward the wardrobe, Ardynn’s breath hitched. Would she come check the wardrobe? What would she say if she found Halsin and Ardynn both inside?

“Mattis?” Ide asked.

“Out here!” came the distant reply from outside. Ide hurried across the room and out onto the balcony.

Ardynn breathed a small sigh of relief. They were safe—for now.

It was only then that she realized how close they were to one another. Her cheek was nearly pressed to his chest, his hand now on her shoulder rather than silencing her with his fingers. His body curved over hers, forced to hunch in the confined space of the wardrobe, his head bent toward her. When he gave his own sigh, his breath stirred her hair and tickled one ear. She had to suppress a shiver.

She forced herself as far back as possible inside the cramped space, but all it did was afford them a few inches between them.

He barely seemed to notice. He merely gave her a smile, as though none of this were remotely unusual. “I didn’t know you had joined the children’s game,” he said softly, keeping his voice low.

“I—I wasn’t—“ She stopped, a little baffled, and then shook her head. “Aren’t you a little big to be hiding in wardrobes?” she whispered.

He chuckled, his laughter warm and low. This close, she nearly felt it rumbling in his chest. “I confess I may have chosen my hiding spot a little poorly. Then again, few spots seemed suitable for a man of my size.” 

That was an understatement. This had to be the biggest wardrobe in Last Light, and he still had to fold himself down a little to fit inside. Ardynn, slight and short, had a much easier time fitting. Or she would have, had two thirds of the space not been taken up by a giant bear druid.

As if in response to her unspoken thoughts, he shifted, attempting to turn so that he was more fully facing her, only to find his broad shoulders wedged uncomfortably between the back wall of the wardrobe and one of the doors. He grunted softly and shifted again, freeing one arm but nearly pushing open the door. Ardynn hurried to catch hold of it and keep it closed, leaning forward right as his arm came up, his hand brushing against her side and bumping briefly against her breast.

He snatched his hand back quickly, causing his elbow to thunk against another wall of the wardrobe. “Ah—my apologies, I—“

“Shh! Do you want them to hear us?” She pretended not to notice his touch, though her cheeks were burning, peering once more through the crack in the door. He shifted, restless, before eventually raising his arm and pressing his hand to the far wall of the wardrobe, his arm extending over her shoulder.

“Perhaps I ought to wild-shape into a cat,” he whispered. She looked up to find him somehow even closer, his head bowed nearer hers. “But I fear that may be unfair to the children. I wouldn’t want them to mistake me for a cousin of His Majesty downstairs and think I’ve disappeared for good.”

“You would think they would know to look inside large wardrobes,” she whispered back, crossing her arms. But then she rethought that decision, since all it did was take up the scant space between them so that her forearms were nearly brushing his broad chest. She uncrossed them again, unsure where to put her hands. She settled for pressing them against her legs.

Gods but he was close. If she breathed deep enough her chest would brush his. And with his hand pressed to the wall behind her, his body looming over hers—not that he had much choice—the size difference between them just felt that much more intense. She felt as though she could curl up into a ball and snuggle herself into the curve of his body and no one would be able to find her until she emerged again.

If only.

It struck her suddenly that this was the closest she had ever been to Halsin. In battle they were often meters apart, him charging ahead as a bear or casting spells from afar while she took up a spot with high ground to rain arrows down over their enemies. At camp, his tent was pitched far away from everyone else. The closest they had been before now must have been at meal times and on the road, where she might have occasionally brushed arms with him as they walked or touched her knee with his as they sat cross-legged side by side around the fire.

She'd never before been close enough to feel his breath on her skin, or feel the heat of his body warming her own. She'd never been so close that she had to tilt her head further back just to gaze up at him. She'd never been so close that he took up the entire field of her vision.

She had to change the subject, or distract herself, fast. She cast about for ideas, trying to remember why she wanted to talk to him in the first place.

“I’m a little surprised to see you playing games,” she breathed. “We haven’t cured these lands just yet.”

She knew the subject of the shadow curse was all-encompassing for him, but as soon as she said it, she regretted it. At her reference to the shadow-cursed lands, his face turned grave, a shadow passing over his expression.

“The...children deserve a night to forget about the darkness every now and again,” he murmured, his gaze dropping away from her face. “I had hoped Thaniel would join us, but...he is not strong enough yet. He rests at our camp now, with Scratch and the owlbear to keep him company.”

His gaze grew distant, eyes trained on some spot just to her left, his thoughts moving on without her. As his eyebrows drew together to form a crease of worry, a pang of guilt gripped her chest. She shouldn't have brought it up. He didn’t say anything else for a long moment, his mind clearly on Thaniel, and she didn't know what to say to bring back the levity from before.

She reached out and took his hand, the one at his side, clasping it in both of hers and holding it between them. “We’re not going to leave him half-healed, Halsin,” she whispered. “I promise. Once we defeat Ketheric…Thaniel will be whole again. We’re going to see this through. I promise.”

He stared at her a moment, as if surprised. But then his expression softened. The hand pressed to the wall of the wardrobe moved, landing heavily on her shoulder. 

“I do not deserve you, you know,” he breathed. “I have asked so much of you, and you have already done more than I require. Thaniel has both halves of himself, thanks to you. I wish…I wish I did not have to ask more of you, but I…”

“Halsin.” His name ghosted from her lips, partly a sigh. She leaned imperceptibly closer, having to tilt her head up to keep his face in view. “I agreed to fix this shadow curse. That means curing Thaniel too. I’m not going to go back on that promise.”

His gaze searched hers in the darkness, his lips parted with words he seemed hesitant to say. She wished—foolishly wished, longed, even—that he would close what scant distance remained between them and just kiss her. She had dreamed about it for days, hoping that whatever barrier he kept between them might eventually crumble and he might see her as more than just an ally dedicated to a cause. She thought she saw some of that happening now. She couldn’t possibly be imagining the way his gaze dipped down to her lips or the tightening grip of his hand on her shoulder. Could she?

Just one kiss, she prayed silently. One secret kiss, tucked away in this cramped wardrobe, where it could stay forever, just so long as she could say she knew what it was to kiss Halsin just the once.

She felt him shift, felt her breath hitch in her chest, her lips parting in anticipation— 

The wardrobe doors flew open with the sound of a child’s delighted gasp and Ardynn flinched back, pressing herself as far from Halsin's body as she could get in that wardrobe. As light flooded in, nearly blinding Ardynn with its suddenness, she heard Ide’s voice.

She wasn't alone outside. Refugee farmers who had planted a few crops also stood in their vegetable patches and fields, faces upturned toward the sky. Thaniel had healed much of the land, but there was still a lot of work to do to get it back to where it could perpetually and naturally sustain life. Rain was a welcome sight, even if it brought a darker sky with it.

As the drops began to fall faster and harder, Ardynn saw some of the refugee women and Halsin ushering the children into a large building to shelter from the rain. Halsin himself stayed outside, glancing skyward every now and again. Little faces appeared at the windows to look out and watch the gentle summer storm grow closer, the sky grumbling overhead. Rain was nothing new to any of them, but there was something compelling about a storm, especially watching it through a foggy pane of glass.

Then, on the horizon, came one of Ardynn's favorite phenomenons. A sheet of rain, like a curtain, appeared at a distance, slowly sweeping toward them. She could hear the hush and shhh of the storm as it neared, but she didn't disappear inside to shelter away from it. She stepped out further into the open, spreading wide her arms and lifting her face. As the curtain of rain washed over her, she shivered slightly at the cool wetness, but quickly grew used to it. Within seconds was soaked to the bone.

She laughed, turning her head to watch how the rain dripped down over the leaves of the trees, their leaves still slowly turning from shadow-cursed red to healthy green. She could almost sense the hard ground beneath her feet eagerly soaking up the rain, desperate for nourishment. This rain was much, much needed.

Just then, a familiar small figure darted through the trees nearby, with another figure following close behind. Thaniel and Oliver were chasing each other, slipping and sliding in the rain, bending to splash puddles at each other and laughing brightly. After a second, Thaniel paused and started to sing, him and Oliver joining hands, dancing around in a circle as Thaniel's song traveled over the stormy space.

There was a kind of spell in his song. Perhaps not a literal one, but his words seemed to be easily heard even over the rain and they lifted Ardynn's spirits with ease. Thunder was his percussion and raindrops on leaves and houses were the persistent harmony to Thaniel's words. Ardynn was reminded of Art Cullagh, who would be strumming along with his lute by now if he were still living. Overwhelmed with a strange emotion, fueled by Thaniel's song, she joined in herself, humming his tune and swaying and moving to the song.

The children's faces at the window grew restless. Soon, despite Halsin standing in the doorway, several of them slipped past him, running over to join Thaniel and Oliver. Laughing and singing awkwardly, trying to learn the words on the fly, they jumped in and out of puddles, dancing with wild abandon, sometimes joining hands with each other or Thaniel and Oliver and sometimes dancing to their own rhythms.

A couple of young girls noticed Ardynn swaying nearby and ran over to her, taking her hands and tugging her closer to the gaggle of children. Ardynn smiled and let herself be pulled along until she was among the children. Thaniel began his song over again and Ardynn, now knowing about half the words, joined in, linking hands with the little girls and dancing in a circle with them (at their instance), guiding them into little spins and jumps. Other children ran to tug other adults over, coaxing them out into the rain. Though many adults were reluctant, soon the joy of the children and the allure of Thaniel's song had them drawing closer with smiles on their faces.

The rain continued to pour, lavishing the healing earth with cool, refreshing rainfall and nourishing the landscape. As the children continued to play or dance, or refugees found themselves swaying in the rain to Thaniel's song or even joining in games with the children, Ardynn found herself pausing, breathless, to search for Halsin. He ought to be out there with the children, enjoying the fun with them, singing Thaniel's song as one of his dearest friends.

She found him lingering under the awning of one of the buildings, leaning against the wall, watching them with a face filled with mixed emotions. At first she thought he had been pulled out into the rain and had retreated, but as she drew closer she realized that the wetness on his face wasn't rain, but tears.

He quickly rubbed them away with the pads of his thumb and fingers as she came closer, but the next shuddering breath he took told her that he wasn't quite done with tears yet. But when she took his hand and coaxed him out into the rain, she knew he wasn't grieving. Or at least, that his grief was not at the forefront of these emotions. She didn't have words for what he must be feeling, a mixture of gratitude and happiness and joy and longing and more, but she didn't want him to linger on the sidelines to simply watch. This moment was as much his own creation, his own doing, his own legacy, as it was hers. In fact, she'd only done a fraction of the work.

She led him out into the rain, singing Thaniel's song to him, and as the children continued to splash and play and spin, as the adults continued to smile and dance lovingly with one another, she pulled him close for a dance that was all their own, lead by Thaniel's sweet song. In a short time, they would all need to gather the children back indoors, drying them off and making sure they were all seated next to warm fires to stave off any threats of cold or illness. But for the moment, this was a time to celebrate.