#arcartsupplies

Pairing: Flake/Arthur (Corin) (arcartsupplies)

MY FEELS

MY POOR FEELS

MY POOR TORTURED FEELS

WHAT IS MY LIFE

Please excuse my while I go cry my eyes out over this.

"I'm sorry...." he whispered, again and again and again. He had no idea how long he had been sitting here, crouched in front of the simple gravestone, muttering those words over and over again. He would never stop, not until he was given forgiveness. And that, he knew, would never come. It was too late for that now. Burying his face in his hands, he couldn't help but to live through it again, even though he fought against it. His mind put him back to that one day, that day three years back that changed his life for the worst. He had been home alone, and after living with Arthur for so many days he wasn't used to that anymore, and he was going through hell then, reliving all his bad childhood memories, ending up whimpering in a corner, crying for his boyfriend. At some point, he had managed to send him a text, just asking him to come back. But then  he had forgotten about it again, too occupied with his memories, with fighting the things that could be in the shadows. In the end, he had fallen asleep in the hallway, curled up with the kitchen knife in his hand, just in case.

And then, he had felt a hand on his shoulder, and it had all happened on instinct. Turning around, letting the knife shoot up, between the ribs, right in the heart. When the body dropped down, he was already dead. And when the body dropped down, he saw that it was Arthur. His Corin. The one who had come to save him.

He had no idea what he had done then, he didn't even remember the funeral. He vaguely remembered being in court and being set free after talking to various psychologists that had attested him some trauma or whatnot. Not that he cared. Even if the law said he wasn't guilty, he was. He was completely guilty. He had killed the only person he had ever cared for like this, the only person that had cared for him. So all there was left to do for him was plead for forgiveness, at the other's grave. He brought a new rose every day, a new candle, and he would spend hours here, always muttering, talking to Corin, talking to himself, pleading, begging for him to come back, to let Flake die as well, to forgive him. "Please... please, I'm sorry... I'm sorry.... I'm sorry...."

Ehrlich gesagt war er schon seit Tagen hibbelig. Corin war mal wieder unterwegs auf irgendeiner Reise, und Flake saß zuhause und wartete. Morgen würde Heiligabend sein, und er wusste nicht einmal, wann und ob der andere kommen würde. Schließlich waren sie offiziell immer noch kein Paar, obwohl Flake weiß Gott nichts dagegen hätte. Im Gegenteil, er wollte es, er wollte es unbedingt. Er traute sich nur nicht, Corin zu fragen. Was, wenn er nein sagen würde? Andererseits war bald Weihnachten, vielleicht sollte er es einfach wagen? Aber vielleicht kam Corin ja auch gar nicht, sondern würde mit seinem Bruder feiern oder so. Solche Gedanken quälten ihn schon seit Tagen, er fühlte sich, als würde er bald durchdrehen. Er wollte ihn doch nur wiedersehen... Als es irgendwann dann an der Tür klingelte, flog er fast hin, und ein Staunen füllte sein Gesicht, als tatsächlich Corin davor stand. „Ich hab dich vermisst, verdammt“, flüsterte er noch, bevor er sich in die Arme des Mannes warf und ihre Lippen zusammenpresste. Es war ihm egal, ob irgendwer sie sah, er wollte ihn einfach nur küssen, ihm nah sein. Noch während der Kuss andauerte, zog er ihn ins Haus und stupste die Tür mit dem Fuß zu. Es war einfach wundervoll, sich an den Größeren anlehnen zu können und sich in seinen Armen geborgen zu fühlen. Die Hände auf seinem Rücken gaben ihm ein Gefühl der Sicherheit, und als sie sich endlich voneinander lösten, legte er seinen dünnen Arme um Corins Nacken und schaute hoch zu ihm. „Schön, dass du da bist“, strahlte er und nahm seine Hand. „Feierst du heute Abend mit mir?“, fragte er dann, als sie ins Wohnzimmer rübergingen. Bald danach saßen sie auf dem Sofa, Flake auf Corins Schoß, schön eingekuschelt in eine Decke und die Arme des anderen, das Feuer im Kamin flackerte schön und es war einfach ganz und gar weihnachtlich, wenigstens für Flake. Sie redeten über alles Mögliche und doch nichts wirklich Wichtiges. Sie tauschten sogar ihre Geschenke aus, Flake hatte Corin Karten für eines von seinen Konzerten besorgt, und er hatte ihm einen Kalender gebastelt, mit Fotos von ihnen beiden, die sie auf ihren gemeinsamen Unternehmungen gemacht hatten. Schließlich, als der Abend sich dem Ende zu neigen drohte, drehte Flake sich um in schaute in das Gesicht, ass er lieben gelernt hatte. „Also...“, fing er an, räusperte sich etwas, als er vergeblich versuchte, sein errötetes Gesicht zu verbegeen. „Also... sind wir jetzt eigentlich ein Parr? So... also, so offiziell, mein ich....“

arcartsupplies

So, I hit 250 followers over the weekend (no idea why, I wasn't even there?!), and I thought I'd do an updated version of my old follow forever for this. This one'll only include roleplayers, and if you're not on here it doesn't mean I don't appreciate you. But... here are my current favourites:

arcartsupplies/ enchanterdowning. You're perfect, okay? I just love reading your rps, and you should see me fangirling over every reply I get from you. My all time favourite: Das halbe Hemd. Though I have to admit I really liked that smutty thing on Corin's couch... *biteybite*

broodyfenris. I really love your writing style, and I stalk your Fenris-pictures all the time. I still don't really get who Fenris is even though someone else tried to explain it to me about a hundred times, I guess I'm just lost with video games. But you're awesome and I really like reading your posts!

coffeaddicts. SWEDISH SIBLING. YOU KILL ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN WITH OUR SHIP. I love Flaktor so much, I just can't. Also, we should Skype more often because that always makes my day. Only if you don't drink though. Fucking shit. Also did I mention I fucking love our shiiiiiipp?!?!

empathiclight. I'm so fed up with oneliners, and I thought about dropping all of them more than once. But then I can't. I can't stop doing things with you, you're too great, and so is Jace. I think one of our very first ones is still amongst my all time favourite, the one where Flake was a vampire and Jace was 'only' his food. Our turned thread just now reminds me a bit of that.

floriist. I have no idea how I started following you, but I really enjoy reading your threads and seeing you on my dash. And whenever I see some Peter Tork on my dash I know it must be you. Keep on being awesome!

idonotlovesamcarter. You're a jewel. I really love rping with you, and Jack is such a sweetheart and puts up with all of Flake's shit, it's just great. I really do ship those two a lot.

its-butters-stotch. FRIEND. You make me happy. Your blog makes me happy. Your muse makes me happy. You're great, okay? Also, what even are Flake and Butters doinggggg? No idea how to survive buuuut let's make out....

jacksmaster. Pitch and Flake. I can't even put it into words what those two mean to me. They are awesome, and your writing is even more awesome. If I could choose who I'd like to be writing like it would be you. I was sure you wouln't want to put up with a strange potato like me, but it's probably the best thing that happened to me, I have wonderful threads and a great friend. Also, tension is building up, and it's about to get fluffy... we might lose our status as queens of angst.

just-a-simple-servant. I really enjoy seeing you on my dash, you're wonderfully skilled, and sometimes I just spend quite a bit of time just reading your threads and being a creepy little stalker. You're amazing!

liveordie-makeyourchoice. You'll be on here forever. You're so damn great, as are your muses, and I have no fucking idea how the Aerow/Flake ship even works, but it does?! I'm seriously flipping my shit over that so often, and they are nearly as great as Cray an Flake by now. Those two broke my heart, I swear, and it never really healed back together again.

marching-towards-death. Oh my god. Where do I even start? You're awesome, you're great, and I love doing things with you. I love Jackson, he's just incredible. I wish we could go back to threads that last longer, but I know it's not always possible. I'm always sitting here, freaking out when I get a reply from you, it's like Christmas everytime. I loved our first thread so much, I think I still know parts of it by heart...

mortalityandimmortality. I remember when you were like 'yo, let's do a dom/sub thread' and I was sitting there like 'how do I word?! how do I language?' because I had never done anything like it. You got me into that, you little shit. Thank you so much! Ily. Also, I was really sad when your Olli changed, Flake still wants his little pet back. But then there was this thread where he broke my fluffball's heart, and ever since then it's been okay. He's so great, and I think he still is my favourite muse of your's. Even though there's Stophy and Phantom and all the others. For Flake, Olli will always be the best. He just loves him, okay?

multitudeofmuses. You're great. You really are. I love your writing style so much, it's incredible. I think it fits your muses' personalities really well, don't ask me why, I can't explain it. I wish our threads wouldn't go lost as often though... but hey, we can always start new ones?!

ocs-and-stuff. My little kitty. I love Riley. I love Ethan even more. I just want to scoop them both up and cuddle them. Oh, I want to cuddle you, too. You're really great, and I love rping with you so much!

pitchslittlepet. My awesome friend, if you only knew just how freakingly much I adore you and your writing. I'm just an old, wrinkly potato and you're glorious and radiant, and I'm more than glad you put up with me and my weird muse, I'm so grateful you are my friend, and I just want to come over and hug you really, really tight. I could probably tell you the first fifty replies of our rp by heart simply because I spent so much time reading and rereading it for all your greatness in there.

sadisticchocoholic/ natethebrat. FRIEND. FRIEND. FRIENDDDDD. You're great, okay? I love your blog, I love reading your rps, and don't you dare tell me they're bad again. They're awesome, and so are you. You're cute and I just wanna cuddle you okay friend? I'm still flattered you even wanna rp with me because I'm just some strange silly girl and you're like fricking awesome and how do you even?! ALSO, THAT ONE SKYPE THREAD WE HAD WHEN I WAS ON HIATUS, HOLY SHIT FRIEND.

spiritxsnix/ levifxckinrivaille. You're awesome, and sometimes you're even more awesome. You're a cutie and so is your muse. I'd like to feed him ice cream all day long while talking about the most random things with you. I hope you find the motivation to come back here more often, I'll be here, waiting for you!

teen-peter. I started reading your posts just recently, but I immediately liked it a lot. You're a really good writer, and I love that you say your opinion. I found quite a lot of posts where you were ranting when one of your friends/partners/someone else got anon hate, and that made me like you even more. We need people who speak up and not only quietly think that that's not right. Keep on being awesome!

the-lord-phantomhive MINE. Do I need to say more? This one is mine, including that wonderful brat of a muse they have. I ship our muses so damn hard, and you're a really nice person, too, And omg I love your voice!! You're so awesome, and I'm so glad I finally worked up enough courage to rp with you.

the-wammy-orphans. You're perfect. Oh my god I so died when you said you wanted to do things with me, too! I never thought things could turn out this perfect, but they did and I'm so flattered. You amaze me, my friend.

theabandonedones. You're so perfect. I don't know how you do that, but our threads are always really really cool. Your characters are great, too, and I always love getting to know someone knew again. I also do love our Skype threads, they tend to be really captivating and awesome. You're a really, really good friend, too, and I'm so sorry you had to bear me whining all the way through summer.

welcometotheblackwillparade. I don't like saying I have favourites, but you probably are my favourite roleplayer. I love your blog, I love your muse. I really like you as a friend. I just... sometimes thinking about you hurts a lot because I just miss you so much. I miss our doll verse, our pet verses, our teacher/student things, the kidnapping verses we had, I miss getting replies from you more than once a week, I miss plotting the most awesome things without really bothering if we ever did them. Sometimes I just want to drop everything and unfollow you so I don't have to stare at you replying to others and not to me, but I can't help it. I know, or at least I hope you don't do it to hurt me, I know you have problems with your muse and motivation, and you're stressed and living a more outgoing life again, or at least that's what you've told me. And I feel like a really bad person sitting here all the time and wanting to smash my screen when I see you starting yet another thread with someone else. You might notice that I am a very jealous and possessive person. I sincerely apologize for that, and I don't want to pressure you into anything. I just really do miss you from the bottom of my heart, I can't bring myself to just give up and move on or to accept that you won't be replying any more often now. You are the only reason I regret having been on hiatus. Before, things weren't perfect, but at least good, but ever since I came back I feel like... like I was just gone for too long and you don't really know what to do with me anymore. I'm sorry, this was supposed to be a happy post and not a novel with me whining about how much I fucking miss you. You're just too great, okay? You're perfect and so is your muse. Cameron is one of my all time favourite characters, I want to take him and keep him somewhere all for myself, keeping him safe and protect him from any harm. Oh, and did I mention I really enjoy reading all your threads? I think there hasn't been a post in the past three months I haven't seen. I love your RPs with Levi, but I think my current favourites are with Eren. Okay, I'll shut up now. Please see this as me loving you so much that I get even more clingy than usual.