#aprilblues

With all the things coming up lately, it's hard to catch a breather. It's AP season, prom's this weekend, finals for AP classes, college worries, scholarship apps... Sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode. I don't have a minute where I'm not stressing and worrying and all of that. Until I know for sure wherein going to college, I won't be able to sleep... It makes me anxious and I'm trying to use the anxiety to push me through countless scholarship apps but it still leaves me feeling a little out of control :| Why can't something in my life to as I tried for it to. But I'm past moping and bringing myself down about it.. I just have to wait and see. I'm trying to live in the now and not in my fear and anxiety. It's hard though.and in the meantime I feel like im losing things...and people, and m not sure how I feel about that. High school will soon be over so maybe it's not worth it to hang on to things so hard.. But at the same time it seems so wrong not to. Agh. Really the only time I don't feel super stressed out these days is when I'm cleaning (to get ready for Saturday and everything). It's funny because my parents really did teach me how to do all the chores in the house and really well too. There's nothing I really can't do. From mowing the lawn, to cleaning the house. Well... If worst comes to worst, at least I'd make a great housekeeper.