#apricocks

my anniversary gift of 6 madagascan hissing cockroaches has been ordered 😍😍😍

also no this isnt an april fools joke our anniversary is actually april first. amazing

OK SO LIKE. sorry ive been scarce over the past few days, i have some asks to respond to, but ive been suuuper busy because *___* in a few hours *_____* im gonna be meeting abellum at the airport today is our two-year anniversary and we actually get to celebrate it together in person and it just feels too good to be true

gonna be sittin next 2 my girl exactly a week from now...........

Nobody likes apricocks

last night i dreamed that my girlfriend told me she was poly & had started dating antonio banderas on the side except plot twist: my mom was already dating antonio banderas (idk where my dad was) but instead of telling abellum that antonio was two-timing her i just told her i was jealous and spat out "how does it feel to know ur hot new boyfriend voiced puss in boots in the shrek films?!??!"

cant wait for april to roll around so i can hold my gf and paint my nails and dye my body hair and eat rly good sushi.. not all at the same time tho. unless we’re really up for a Challenge