#appelssiini

Where it all began

or by your first or full name, as you like, and name your blog in the article if it's okay to you. I would also translate the whole thing to English and publish it in my blogs and fb. I too have pcos so the whole thing is partially me trying to come in terms with it... And raising awareness in my school at least :) I know how the shit hits the fan sometimes so if you don't have the energy for this, I totally understand and it's totally okay :) thanks in advance!You don't have to anwer to any of these if you don't like :)1) How many followers do you have? What kind of people they typically are?2) Do you have any thoughts about why pcos is not spoken about in the media? What should change about how it's presented / the lack of it's presentation?3) What symptom is the most difficult to deal with for you?4) Have you ever faced any kind of "suspicion" about pcos?5) How has pcos affected your life?

Okayyy, I’m so late answering this, I don’t know if I’ve missed your deadline, if so I’m sorry! Things have just been a bit all over the place at the moment :S If it’s ok I’m not really down with like, having my personal information out there like my full name and stuff. I’m sorry it’s just that this is kind of a personal thing for me and I appreciate having a little anonymity. I’ll answer your questions anyway if it helps you or anyone else reading at all.

1. At the moment I have 1,220 followers. I have to go through my followers list quite regularly to make sure there are no pornblogs/bots/fetish blogs etc following so I can flush them out and block them. I’m very very grateful for all the wonderful people that follow me otherwise though and it’s really reassuring to know there are so many out there going through the same thing as me :) As for the type of people they are, of course there are many different people but I do admit to checking out my followers blogs when I can so I can get to know them a bit better 🙈 . I tend to find that they’re artistic and thoughtful/contemplative people more than anything which I find really sweet and wonderful. I have a lot of followers that enjoy music and fashion and quotes and poetry and paintings which is lovely. They’re often very kind and very strong especially as I know a lot of them suffer from depression or anxiety. I’m also really surprised at how international my followers are, I thought they’d mostly be from the UK or the US but there are a lot of people on here from all over the world!

2. If I’m honest? I think because a. it’s primarily a women’s illness b. it’s not something immediately visible, like you can’t look and tell someone has PCOS c. it has a few ‘unattractive’ symptoms such a excess hair growth or acne or weight gain and the media likes to pretend that women shouldn’t have those things or look that way and since it’s related to periods and the menstrual cycle which is already a ‘taboo’ subject, people would prefer not to talk to hear about it and d. since there isn’t really a ‘cure’ and there’s limited amount of funding and research into it it’s maybe not a very widely known illness, I didn’t even know what it was until I was diagnosed. I’d love it if there was more awareness spread about it, if women felt more able to talk about their hormones or their periods so that they’d feel more comfortable getting help if something was wrong and if there was more education as to what a ‘normal’ or ‘abnormal’ period is like, I was taught almost nothing about periods at school. 

3. I think either the pain or just like...general hormonal fuckery (you might need to rephrase that one if it’s going in a paper lmao) Hormones affect SO MUCH. Like I get splitting headaches, sudden changes in my body temperature, constipation/diarrhea, loss of appetite and then sudden cravings for something really specific, mood swings, I always wanted to pee, feeling faint etc and these are all connected to my hormones. All the pain of a PCOS period is like..God it’s just a nightmare. I was always just told ‘haha periods are so painful, poor women eh?’ but it’s like, there’s normal period pain and then there’s ‘something’s wrong’ period pain and I wish girls were raised to know the difference. And the pain of a ruptured cyst is just agony, straight up it’s so uncomfortable. Even cystic acne is painful, normal acne is bad enough but cystic acne is soo unpleasant because you can feel it from under your skin and it’s just like a constant stinging even if something lightly brushes your face. 

4. I wasn’t entirely certain what this question meant, i.e. if I had suspicions or if other people had suspicions as to whether I actually had it or whether other people had suspicions as to whether or not it’s a real illness. Personally I know that it’s a real illness, I even have the ultrasound results to prove it, let alone experiencing it on a daily basis. People have had my doubts whether I had it, it took me a long time to get diagnosed once I first went to the GP about it. First they thought it was just because I was young and my hormones hadn’t settled down from puberty yet. Then they said it was because I was underweight. Then they said it was because I wasn’t getting enough iron. Then it was because I wasn’t getting enough Vitamin D, then it was Vitamin C, then it was Vitamin B, then it was Vitamin E, then it was because I wasn’t active enough, because I was depressed, because I suffer from other chronic illnesses, because my periods are ‘just a bit more difficult’ I think it took me almost 3 years to finally have someone suggest that it could be PCOS, it’s ridiculous. People can have all the doubts they want to but ultrasound scans and blood tests should give them all the evidence they need. Sometimes people don’t take it seriously, especially men who think it’s just women being overdramatic about period pain and hormones but anyone who lives with PCOS knows how real it is.

5. Oh man, in so many ways. It’s hard for a start, I’m basically half dead for 2 weeks of the month. I get depressed, my sleeping schedule gets messed up, my eating habits gets messed up, things kind of go down the shitter a bit. It’s also hard because I’ve had to completely re-evaluate how I see myself, to know my pain is valid, to rebuild my self esteem after being ashamed for so long about having a ‘gross’ illness, about being excessively hairy and having painful acne on my face and body and about potentially/probably having to live with this illness for the rest of my life. That’s hard. On the other hand I feel like it’s also made me more compassionate, it’s taught me to be more gentle with myself and ask for help if I need it. It’s helped to take better care of myself and my body and put more thought into what I put into my body and how i treat it. It’s taught me to reach out to my fellow women and the importance of having a community that makes you feel understood and accepted and the importance of not letting people walk all over you because of something that is beyond your control. 

Mandariini tai Ananas.

Omena tai Päärynä.