#aphil

DM: Actually, the fall is too long. You have to jump first and cast the spell once you’re already falling.

Aphil: ...Ah.

Sett (human wizard): It’s okay, it’s easy to cast. We just have to make sure we all jump together, because the spell’s range is 60 feet.

Bri (half-elf cleric): Alright. Three, two, one, we jump!

Cressida (aasimar warlock): *falters* Iiiiii’m not sure if I can do this!

Aphil: Can I say that I expected Cressida to freak out and grabbed her by the scruff when I jumped?

DM: He rolls a 1 on his saving throw.

Lyra: Yes!

DM: He uses one of his legendary saves to automatically pass it.

Lyra: Wait, what? Bullshit! How many does he get?

Marijn (playing Bri): I will take it! I will take the ring to Mordor!

DM: Pretty much. Silverhand steps in and decrees that you guys will act as her emissaries.

Tati (playing Cressida): Okay, pause! Putting my foot down. We’re an official diplomatic body, we need a name right now! I propose... The Sword of Waterdeep.

Marijn: I like that.

Hamish (playing Sett): It’ll do.

Tati: Do any of us even use swords?

Lyra (playing Aphil): ...Honey, you do.

Tati (playing Cressida): Did you say beard?

DM: Yeah.

Tati: What the fuck?

DM: They’re really cool!

Lyra (playing Aphil): They’ve basically got a cat-o-nine stuck on their face.

DM: Okay, you find a fairly nice place with a blackjack night. There’s a bard quartet playing, all you can eat buffet with a complementary drink, overall pleasant atmosphere.

Ginquee (tortle monk): Is any of the food plain-boiled?

DM: There are some lightly-seasoned pan-fried potatoes?

Ginquee: *sniffs* Seems overly indulgent.

Cressida (aasimar warlock): I could prestidigitation it bland for you.

Bri (half-elf cleric): Do you want to arm-wrestle?

Aphil: Bring it on. I’ve wrestled bears.

Bri: *grin* I’m wrestling one right now.

DM: Aphil manages to bring Bri’s arm down. Bri, you're distracted by Aphil’s bulging biceps.

Bri: I certainly am.

Bri (half-elf cleric): Yeah, we could find a tavern.

Sett (human wizard): I’m going to stay on the boat, I’ve got stuff to do.

Cressida: No, Sett! We’re going out as a team and we’re not working tonight!

Aphil (half-elf druid): Ooh, watch your word choice. ‘Going out.’ I have no interest in going out.

Cressida: Oh.

Aphil: I’m not going out with any of you, any time.

Cressida: *crestfallen* ...I’m not coming either.

Aphil: We’re going to lead long, fulfilling lives, okay?

Cressida: *confused* Wait, what?

Aphil: *confused* Going out, like dying? As in, ‘in a blaze of glory’?

Cressida: *splutters* That’s- not- Okay.