hetalia characters as tesco meal deals
sorry non-brits. also, sorry brits
england: blt sandwich, packet of ready salted crisps, bottle of water. there’s nothing necessarily wrong with it, it’s very standard, but there’s somehow a sense of shame about it. it angers you, but very slightly, and you don’t really know why.
france: chicken/broccoli/almond salad, graze box, coconut water. fucking hell, what a pretentious twat. he’s out there, putting good food into his body, like some sort of fucking king, and it irritates the fuck out of you. he really said, I'm healthy and I want you to know about it.
germany: salmon and cucumber sandwich, fruit yoghurt, Starbucks espresso can. it’s pretty good, pretty balanced, you've got a decent main, sort-of dessert and the much-needed fast brain juice, it’s all there. there’s not a massive amount of pizzazz but it’s a damn sight better than england, and more functional, too.
america: cheese and ham toastie, vegan sausage roll, Diet Coke. this is so chaotic you don’t even know where to start. I mean, first off, it’s a to-go meal deal. why the fuck are you getting a toastie, which requires heating up. second, if you’re getting a bloody ham toastie, why is your sausage roll vegan? why? just why? and the Diet Coke - ok, so the coke is ok. that’s fine. that’s acceptable. just... sort the rest of the chaos out, please.
north + south italy: ..... pre-packaged food? at a supermarket? you are joking, no? that’s not coming anywhere near our taste buds, nope, sorry, non ne posso più
