#apessimistreader

Taemin is out with his other partner so it’s just Jonghyun and Kibum this morning; Jonghyun misses him but Kibum is quick to distract him with wandering hands and teasing kisses pressed to Jonghyun’s lips and cheeks and eyes, kisses that keep him from rolling out of bed to start the day. Kibum’s whispering promises in between the press of his lips, things that make Jonghyun giggle and kiss back and nuzzle closer and wait with bated breath for Kibum’s next words.

“We could go shower, and you could suck me off. Pretty mouth.” Kibum thumbs at the swell of Jonghyun’s lower lip and his gaze is intent, searching. A question.

Jonghyun’s breath hiccups and he wants to, always wants to do what Kibum says when he gets like this, but he finds himself shaking his head. “Don’t wanna”

“Then what do you want, Jonghyunnie?” A quick kiss to the corner of Jonghyun’s mouth, a reassuring run of fingers over bare skin.

“Want to be close to you. Want….” Jonghyun reaches down, tentative, skimming his fingers over the curve of his side, waist, hip.

“Want what, baby?”

Jonghyun struggles to find the words for what he wants, eventually comes up with, “I want to feel you.” But that’s not it, he wants to help Kibum fall over the edge, wants to tip over with him, he wants to feel the shudder of Kibum’s body and tremble with him, wants to feel all of Kibum, around him, inside him, against him.

But Kibum seems to understand, because he rolls over to fish for the lube, slicks Jonghyun’s hand up before guiding his fingers to the head of his dick and setting a slow pace. His dry hand curls tight around Jonghyun’s hip and his other slides against his cock, matching the pace he’d set. Jonghyun can feel all the love in Kibum’s gentle kisses and the careful skim of his fingers against his side and hip and back.

“Kibummie,” Jonghyun says against Kibum’s lips, “Kibummie, I love you. Lots.”

“Love you too, Jonghyunnie. My baby.” Kibum noses against Jonghyun’s cheek, puffs out hot, stuttering breaths that Jonghyun drinks in.

Jonghyun whispers the promise of falling over the edge together, of coming down and trembling together, tells Kibum that he wants to feel him come, wants to feel his body shake and quiver and finally relax, and it’s with a groan that Kibum tightens his grip on Jonghyun’s hip to tug him even closer. Something bumps against Jonghyun’s thigh and then Kibum hauls himself up and over so his body blankets Jonghyun and god, the bite of his lips makes Jonghyun still, unable to concentrate on anything but the push and tug of their hips together, the way Kibum licks into his mouth, the way Kibum cages him in place.

The way Kibum’s hips rut against Jonghyun’s is honestly intoxicating, and Jonghyun loses himself in feeling, breaths stuttering out and finally stopping because he’s so close-

And then falling over and Kibum isn’t far behind; his arms give out and all he can do is lie on top of Jonghyun, breathing hard and trembling until he finally manages to roll over and just breathe. It’s Jonghyun that is first able to move, rolls over enough to kiss Kibum soft and gentle until he feels Kibum grin.

“What?” Because that grin is playful and mischievous, and Kibum laughs.

“I was just thinking we could go to the bathroom now. To clean up.”

“Clean up?”

“You could clean me up. Your mouth…” Kibum tugs Jonghyun to sit on top of him, thumbs at Jonghyun’s mouth again until Jonghyun lets it fall open, lets Kibum slip two fingers inside. It’s not a challenge or a promise, but Jonghyun sucks anyway, already thinking of Kibum’s cock in his mouth and the taste of come on his lips.

His cock twitches against Kibum’s thigh and Kibum throws back his head and laughs, sticky hands settling on Jonghyun’s hips and tapping idle rhythms there. “You wanna go?”

Jonghyun nods even as he leans down to kiss Kibum, lingering and biting and not-so-chaste. Just when Kibum licks eagerly into his mouth, he pulls away and makes his way to the bathroom, laughing at the scandalized look on Kibum’s face when he does so.

(They’re still not dressed by the time Taemin gets back that night, so Taemin sheds his clothes and joins them on their cuddle pile on the bed.

The day they met, it had been pouring rain.

Jem was hurrying back to his apartment from school (they’d let out early because of the weather), struggling to keep himself and his bag dry (it wouldn’t do him any good to have his textbooks and work wet, now would it?), but most importantly, he was trying to keep his violin case dry.

Though he should’ve known not to bring it on a day like this, Jem berated himself, it wasn’t a surprise that they’d cancelled rehearsal along with school. But still, there was an upside to the weather - at least now he has time to study for all the upcoming tests, and practice of course.

Jem was roused from his thoughts as he found himself at his apartment building. After a moment’s hesitation, he decided to go around from the back - the stairway in the front had electronic doors that tended to jam in bad weather - and god, it was cold.

He had intended to go straight in and up to the third floor to his room and take a quick nap and then get to work, but he had to stop when he saw the body slumped by the door.

And then he saw the ground stained maroon around him and Jem immediately dropped all of his things and rushed to the body. Upon closer examination, he felt a steady, strong heartbeat, along with the weak rise and fall of his chest. There was blood seeping from a wound on his chest - it looked like it was a bullet wound, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Are you awake?” Said hesitantly, but he tried to keep the panic from his voice.

At that, the man’s (blue, blue) eyes shot open and he fixed Jem with a weak glare. “Who are you?” he struggled to sit up but winced and cursed under his breath.

Jem shook his head and dug in his pocket for his phone, “I’m going to call 911-” but before he could finish speaking, the man had grabbed him by the wrist and fixed him with a steely gaze.

“Don’t. Get me inside and take the bullet out yourself.”

“How do you know I can-”

“Don’t play dumb, you’re a med student.” The man pointed to one of the textbooks halfway out of Jem’s bag, “I’m no idiot.”

“I- fine.” Jem didn’t know why he agreed, but something in the man’s gaze…

“Good, now help me up.” Another wince as Jem gently complied, and then they were hobbling inside and finally out of the cold.

The trip up the stairs was hard, silent except for the gasped breaths and curses that flowed from the man’s lips like water. Jem was aware how stupid he was being - inviting a bleeding stranger into his home - but he also felt like it would be…worth it somehow.

And then they were in front of his door and inside and then, “Better hurry- ah, I’m going to fall.” And right on cue, the man’s legs buckled and Jem let him slump to the floor, and damn, the floor was going to get dirty.

Just then, a muffled, “Sorry about your floor.”

Funny. Jem snorted and rolled his eyes and, “I’ve never done this before.”

“Damn, really?”

“Hypothetically, I know what to do. But it’s not like they shoot people for us to practice on. Now shut up so I can work.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

Jem ignored the last comment and mentally ran through the first things he knew he had to do. First, of course, were his ABCs. Airway - well that’s certainly clear, if the amount he’s talking is any indication. He’s breathing too, and he can move. That’s A, B, C and D - so it’s just E that’s left.

“I need to take off your shirt.”

A weak chuckle, “If you wanted in my pants, you could’ve just asked.”

Jem fought back the urge to hit him, and instead helped him sit up before gently pulling the wet and bloodied shirt over his head. No exit wound.

“Pants off too. I’ll get you some of mine.”

A lazy grin was shot his way and Jem was suddenly shocked at how…attractive the man’s face was, even twisted in pain. And after struggling him into a pair of Jem’s sweatpants, he laid the man back down and pressed a towel to the wound and slowly, slowly put pressure on it, ignoring the hiss of pain from beneath him.

“Keep that on there, I need to get bandages. And something to get the bullet out-”

“No, just get bandages. I have someone back - home - that can get it out.”

“But-”

The man cut him off with a sharp glare, “You’ve never done this, and I trust Thomas with my life. I’d much rather him do it.”

“Yes, but I don’t want you to die. You can barely walk.”

After a moment, “Fine. But can I have a drink?”

“Of course,” Jem couldn’t help a quiet sigh of relief as the man conceded, but when he got back, the man was gone.

He didn’t think much of it - forgot about the whole incident, in fact - until one day a few weeks later, he let himself in and saw someone dozing on his bed. Of course, he dropped his books, and blue eyes shot open and a slow grin made itself known.

“Hey.”

“You’re - how!”

“I picked the lock, simple really. And I’m here to offer you a position. Ah - where are my manners?” a rather predatorial grin, “care for a drink?”

So yeah, that’s how he ended up in the booth of some obscure bar, sitting across from the man he’d thought was dead.

“First of all, my name is William. I’d like to thank you for saving my life, James.”

“How do you know my name?”

“I did my research.” That same, maddening grin.

“What position?”

Will took a sip of his wine before answering, “A doctor. Ours got killed last week. Shame.”

“Killed?”

“Why yes. Found him with a bullet in his head.”

“And…why me?”

“I don’t know.” Will traced the rim of his glass with a finger, “I just wanted it to be you. You’ll say yes, won’t you?”

“Just…being a doctor?”

“Well - yeah.”

“Will.”

“…I’m in a gang. So you’d be a gang doctor-”

“A gang? Will-”

“I’m the gang leader, by the way. Oh, and if you don’t join, I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you.”

“You won’t.”

“Try me.”

“I can’t do it, though…I can’t.”

“Please.”

“I’m sorry.”

Jem saw him again at school. He was in sixth period, in the lecture hall, and it was a particularly boring class, so he was idly composing a new song - one of many hundreds that he would probably never finish - when the door slammed open and, without thinking, he stood up as soon as he saw who it was.

Will immediately grinned when he saw Jem, and jogged up to his seat. “Come on.”

“But-”

“James.” His gaze turned cold, “now.”

And that was how he ended up on Will’s motorcycle, hanging on for dear life and Christ, he was going to die

“Where are we going?”

Will either didn’t hear him, or didn’t care enough to answer - just sped them up another notch and Jem could feel the tensing of his muscles beneath his grip (not that he was paying attention to that) and-

“It’s my sister. She’s-” Will’s back tensed against Jem’s chest, “well. You’ll see.”

“What do you mean?”

Will didn’t answer.

They finally stopped at the lip of an alleyway (Jem had never been there - never ventured to this part of London at all) and Will slid off without warning and leaned his motorcycle against the wall before beginning to stride away.

“Aren’t you going to lock it?”

“Someone will come for it. Now come on.”

Jem hurried to catch up to Will, and shrank back at the cold look he received. All traces of the Will he’d seen before were completely gone. “Will-”

“Come on.”

Inside, and following Will down a maze of hallways and stairs and doors, until Will finally stopped (Jem nearly bumped into him) and then, “Cecily.”

A girl’s voice, faint but still with biting sarcasm, “Yes, who else?”

Will stepped aside and gestured Jem to the girl laying on the bed in front of them. “I found you a doctor, Cece.”

“Will, you idiot, I don’t need-” she winced, “fuck.”

Jem stepped closer and swept his eyes over her - the dark, tangled hair and blue, blue eyes (so much like Will’s), the jeans that were ripped (and not because of some trend), the shirt stained with blood

“What happened?” Jem inquired, already lifting the bloodied shirt from her stomach to stare at the jagged wound there.

“Out scouting by the borders - this guy came out of nowhere and got me - I got him back though.” Cecily’s voice was trembling, but still fierce in its own way.

“Will, get me a shirt or a towel, a clean one. A basin of water, and bandages. And thread and a needle. And disinfectant.”

“Needle?”

“Be quiet, I need to concentrate.”

The moment Jem stepped from the room, Will sprang to his feet and grabbed Jem by the arms, “Is she okay?”

“She needs sleep, and I’ll need to keep changing her bandages for a while. So long as she doesn’t strain the wound, she’ll be fine. And Will, I’ll need my stuff from home.”

“What, why?”

“You wanted me to stay, didn’t you?”

The (stupidly charming) smile flashed his way made the decision worth it.

“Remember when we met?” Will’s voice, muffled against Jem’s neck.

“You were bleeding out, how could I forget?”

“My dashingly good looks, that’s what you’re supposed to remember! My hair, soaked with rain, my eyes staring into yours with the depth of an ocean-”