house for sure has a tattoo on his ass or dick. this conspiracy is brought to you by his red dragon tattoo tshirt (s2e5) and the fact that he knows what an apadravya is. he also has no visible tattoos when he wears shorts in s3e12, none visible in the scene the photo below was taken from, nor in the other full nudity scene of him in his own apartment.
to be clear there are other explanations but this one's the funniest. so













