#anticristvs

@anticristvs (copia) : why can't you just say that? 𝔪𝔢𝔪𝔢 — ( ⛧ )

the end of his tail flickers akin to that of an irritated cat, brows set and bright blue eyes are locked forward rather than at copia. while yes, he was being called out, the ghoul's frustration wasn't at him by any means, but he didn't dare put the other in his line of fire ( pun not intended ). dew is silent for a moment.

he could be so poetically crude, he could seamlessly slit one's throat with words, but admitting something that actually means a lot to him? that didn't come easy. he was known to be feisty ; everyone knows his form of communication typically leans more abrasive or that the sticky sweet honey is accompanied by something else rather sticky. but he was no good at being vulnerable. he'd rather chew his own tail off.

but just now he'd just short of played a game of 20Q with papa that lead to just having to confirm it. he was terrified of losing copia. he saw how the others had just simply been discarded after they ran their course. he was there when the former papas were euthanized and set on display just to make way for the cardinal. but now that he's had two albums? the ghoul feared for the man.

he feared more than a ghoul should for a human. and he couldn't admit it out loud until it was pried out of him.

the moment of silence went on longer than he intended, but he finally formed an answer.

❝ i didn't want to speak it into existence. ❞

even  with  all  the  clairvoyance  aether  possessed  ,  there  were  times  when  he  was  still  wrong  .  it  was  an  embarassing  fact  to  face  at  times  …  given  his  lifetime  of  praise  for  being  a  perfect  fit  with  his  gift  .  if  he'd  learned  one  important  lesson  around  humans  -  it  was  never  to  take  yourself  too  seriously  .

his  tail  flickered  ,  trying  to  push  down  that  feeling  as  Dew  told  him  what  was  truly  going  on  .  how  was  aether  supposed  to  know  when  he'd  been  acting  off  for  a  while  ?  he  tried  not  to  nestle  himself  into  the  other  ghoul's  mind  all  the  time…  (  albeit  he  felt  the  most  at  home  when  he  was  .  )  "  we  should  take  a  break,  then  .  "  he  suggested  gently,  tail  reaching  for  dew's  and  loosely  intertwining  them  together.

@anticristvs asked: You've made that very clear, so l won't inconvenience you. / toni @ mary

The change in her tone is what finally break's Mary's deep CONCENTRATION on their guitar. Instead they whip around and take quick steps forward to catch her wrist in their hand, hazel eyes full of an intense mix of emotions as they stare her down. " Don't. " Mary whispers, less of a command and more of a PLEAD as their hold on Toni's wrist relaxes slightly, their thumb rubbing over the softness of her wrist. " I'm sorry, älskling. You know this is all difficult for me, but I'm trying. I promise I'm trying. " Damn it if he doesn't feel like a complete failure in the romantic department despite all his efforts though. Having Toni so close to them and having her watching them practice their guitar playing while she showers them with compliments, it was still something they were learning to get used to. As much as they cared for her deeply it also felt suffocating at times. Where was the line between their OBSESSION for her attention and company and when Mary craved the years of solitude they've had?

nihil  had  distracted  himself  plenty  following  the  years  of  his  removal  from  showbiz  ,  from  music.  he  had  dedicated  himself  to  what  it  means  to  be  papa  ,  taking  over  an  old  organization  that  had  gone  leaderless  for  quite  some  time.  by  right  of  his  blood  and  frenzied  ardor  ,  nihil  had  mastered  the  infernal  arts  quickly  with  the  help  of  his  most  trusted  demonic  companion  ,  opus.  anything  so  that  he  would  not  think  of  her  constantly—  and  not  just  her.  his  decisions  had  entirely  altered  the  path  he'd  been  following.  a  visionary  artist  from  LA  ,  drenched  in  the  heat  of  blood  awakening  something  monstrous  within.  eyes  that  would  follow  her  ,  and  only  her.

when  he  sired  his  sons  ,  he  had  not  thought  of  it  as  a  transgression.  had  he  not  made  it  so  abundantly  clear  that  his  heart  would  only  ever  belong  to  her?  nihil  had  done  as  he  felt  was  right  ,  and  he  had  paid  the  ultimate  price.  a  throbbing  ,  gaping  hole  within  in  the  shape  of  her.  perhaps  his  shadow  had  grown  wings  and  horns  ,  but  his  heart  remains  that  of  gianni  tresca  ,  suffused  in  fierce  hunger.

she  had  cut  him  out  of  her  life  perfectly  ,  and  it  still  feels  messy.  (  he  loves  her  he  loves  her  he  loves  her  ,  he  does  )

lighting  a  match  against  the  sole  of  his  boot  ,  nihil  inhales  the  acrid  smoke  of  his  cigarette  deeply.  it  does  nothing  to  calm  the  flutter  of  nerves.  lord  below  ,  he  does  love  her.  his  hair  is  greying  now  ,  thinner  at  the  temples—  lines  edging  into  the  sharpness  of  his  features.  but  he's  still  the  man  she  met  all  those  many  years  ago  in  LA—  from  the  leather  pants  to  the  virgin  white  of  a  ruffled  shirt.  he  isn't  sure  why  he  had  decided  against  wearing  his  papal  robes.  sometimes  he  still  thinks  they  do  not  look  right.

pushing  his  sunglasses  up  on  his  head  at  her  approach  ,  nihil  cannot  and  will  not  suppress  the  smile  digging  into  gaunt  cheeks—  warmth  thawing  the  ice  of  his  glare.  'my  love'  ,  he  thinks.  ❝  sister.  ❞  he  says  ,  in  lieu  of  the  million  and  one  things  he  would  like  to  say.  ❝  do  you  wish  to  sit?  ❞  he  gestures  at  the  bench  he  had  been  perching  on  earlier  ,  hidden  away  amidst  the  ripe  wealth  of  blooming  plants—  their  scent  sweet  and  their  nectar  poisonous.  ❝  i  did  not  expect  you  to  want  to  speak  to  me  so  urgently.  what  can  i  do  for  you?  ❞  he  cannot  sequester  away  the  hope  tinting  his  voice  ,  nor  the  tenderness.  his  love  is  as  eternal  as  he  had  promised  her.

This girl who has come to the Ministry has caused a hell of a stir to the living, but not so much the dead. Well, his father and Imperator are certainly riled, but that is just another day ending in Y as far as he's concerned.

He doesn't concern himself with the living or dead most days beyond the fact he will spend eternity in these halls and never see his wife or children in the after.

He can see his brother in her features.

It's a long time before she's alone, and before he's even willing to reveal himself. There are less than a handful of creatures alive within the Ministry who know the truth of the Emeritus Brothers' souls.

Nothing so dramatic as a blue glow, but he is transparent, and less solid the further down his body he goes, feet all but invisible.

He curls around a bookcase like a shadow, watching.

@anticristvs asked: " We all need something to believe in. " / dew

" Whether it's in ourselves or something bigger than us. It's that glimmer of hope that keeps us going through the hardships life challenges us with. " Perpetua nods in agreement with the other, tilting their head up to stare up at the altar they had carefully arranged much earlier that morning when most of the world was still sound asleep. They found it was an EASIER task to get things done early and find an hour or two to sleep to make up for their nocturnal habits during the day.

it was pretty ironic to him — that he'd be the one who was ghosted. typically it was him ghosting whoever, no attachments even made to begin with. this was half of the reason why he didn't allow himself to grow attached to anyone he met on the road. the other was simply because he knew it'd always end with him outliving anyone. ( that was something he really didn't want to think about )

he shouldn't have let himself get attached. it was so stupid of him. it never would've worked long term and he knew it. but he got selfish. he couldn't get enough of her. and the withdrawal he felt when suddenly there was radio silence was enough to send him back. no numbers, no repeats. no attachments.

he was a ghoul, after all. he was only there to help the ministry.

which was what he did, especially when not on tour. the fire ghoul was simply making his way from one side of the main building to the other when he heard the bell ring. having no need for glamor while on property, he had no reason to even think of masking his ghoulish appearance, even when he decided to go ahead and get the door for whoever the hell it was showing up since he was really the only one remotely near the entrance. if they're on ministry property, they're likely aware of the ghouls.

when he opened the door, it was the last person he'd ever expected to see standing there. bright blue eyes widened and for a moment he was unable to speak. part of him wanted to just shut the door, but the part that didn't? it kept him practically frozen in place. he felt his heart skip a beat, not even noticing the single white eye right away.

and for a moment, he'd forgotten that he wasn't in glamor. that she'd never seen him like this. the silence from him lasted almost too long before he snapped back into it. sort of. ❝ — hi . . . ❞

@anticristvs asked: i swear it's getting harder even just to exhale. / perpetua @ storm

A concerned noise bubbles up before Storm can suppress it, pouring a cup of boiling water into Perpetua's travel mug to brew some tea to aide in his STRESSES. While he waits to prepare it, he turns to Perpetua and lowers himself to his knees, always the devoted one when it came to being in his presence despite still having a somewhat UNTAMED ghoulish nature in comparison to the older ghouls who have been a part of the ministry since before Copia had entered his reign. " You've been going nonstop for months now, Papa. Maybe you need a break after tonight's ritual. " Even without the touring being a factor, there was still plenty that the antipope had to work on. As proud as he was of the list of accomplishments his summoner has achieved, Perpetua was still only human and deserved to rest.