#answer needed

This is my first time actually writing about how i felt and will post it online. Um how do i love myself? Yes it is a mainstream question and back then before i know how it felt i thought "it cant be that hard to love myself" but was it? Well it is hard now that ive felt it, i feel like all i can see from myself is all the bad things that i have done, it's like there's nothing i can be proud of or feel good about myself. And almost everytime i feel like i can do something or just basically feeling like im mastering something it would get on my head and i started being cocky, from there i started to think that if i did good at something it's just the way it has to be, not because i actually good at it otherwise i'll just be bigheaded and ruin everything.

I've read about a couple of things on that topic but i haven't get the answer that moved me (?) or made me actually look better at myself which is pathetic to be honest. Self pity. I think i did that pretty often now that i think about it which is also pathetic.

Please answer if there's anyone who has experienced it and feel free to share your story :)