#anotherstepforward

Dear C,

Though I know I've already thanked you, I just wanted to make sure I did this in writing.

Thank you. 

Thank you for being polite when I was waiting in line for my dinner. 

Thank you for asking for my name first, then asking whether I had a guy or not. 

Thank for not trying to pressure me to pick you when I said I did*.

Thank you for being so cute when explaning to me how you felt when you saw me walk across the street and complement me.

And thank you for being honest when you said you forgot my name during introductions, asked for it again, and shook my hand farewell.

I don't know who taught you that, but I thank them as well. You were very cute and I wish I was in the right headspace to give you a try, but for now thank you. Keep being a wonderful gentleman, and I hope you find the right lady to stand by you.

Take care,

Tam

* I said I did though I don't have anyone in my life atm. Its a bit of a reflex as most of the attention I get is brash and unwanted, plus I'm still breaking free from a strange, dragged out relationship. Part of me is upset that I told him that, but the other half knows that I'm not ready, not yet. There are things I need to sort out and lots of things I want to do before I start down that road to commitment.

It's not like I badly need it. I just want to know how it feels. I want to feel that I am special, that I am being loved and treasured. I know that I don't want to want this desperately. It's just that I'm jealous of everyone else, as in every one else. Though some doesn't end happily or like what they hoped for but at least.. they've experienced it.. they've felt... something. I know and truly believe that this wait will someday be worthwhile especially when you're able to meet 'the one'. And I know that this is another rant of an irritating NBSB, but you don't know how it feels. You don't understand how it feels to wait and wait and wait.