#anon.posting

As you aged and became an adult, did things in your system start to like, change for no reason? Like I'm not talking new splits necessarily, but I mean like.

Were so much chiller with each other than we was as a teen. We still struggle with hosts believing they have more control but now it's more of a ....group project? Than one or two select alters making a decision

I can see it turn to a smile now, as I tell them what he needs to hear, let them know despite it all I am remembering. I am forever going to remember and learn. He's my mentor, my teacher, I have to learn and learn fast.

There's so much, names, numbers, places. Directions. My body aches, my brains foggy and my eyes glassy. I'm trying my hardest but I've never been one to be serious.

I can still feel them inside me, I don't think my last task was completed right, I feel myself splitting into two, into three, four. I can feel the weight of my job pressing down on my back.

The cold snow is a nice feeling as I give up, laying down, my ears ringing just loud enough to block out the sickly sweet way they tell me I'm not good enough. That he chose wrong. That I'll never fill his shoes.

I dont care, I want my job to be over, I want training done. I want to relax and unlearn everything I have. The weight of existence and knowledge of those the others will never meet is too much to bare.

Why did he pick me? What qualities do I possess that others don't? Wouldn't Smudge or someone be better at this? Why is it me.