āYouāre the only one I want in my bed,ā Wang Zhi ends up saying though, because he knows Ding Rong wasnāt only asking in jest.(This is technically Ding Rongās bed, but anything that is Ding Rongās at this point is certainly Wang Zhiās as well. Ding Rong is finding a lot of things to be theirs now and isnāt that breathtaking?)
this is fromĀ the intricate brocade of this happinessĀ ~~~
buahaha this short oneshot was my first attempt at writingĀ āspicierā things (you can tell itās my first attempt because itās actually really fucking tame)
but iām still proud of it! because iāve said before that i donāt know how to write people making out and therefore i tend to dress up sexual tension in pretty metaphors and fade-to-blacks... think of me using a lot of lens flares if i ever directed a video or something
i want it to be pretty, i want it to be warm and gentle and soft. maybe one day iāll write something thatās like actually explicit and without any Feelings but i donāt think itās gonna be anytime soon ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ (i literally made myself uncomfy just by thinking about it lol)
anyway this particular exchange is part of what i think rongzhiās banter looks like: lots of teasing, and lots of insecurity carefully packaged behind very tentative teasing.
i said this in a previous ask that their love may not beĀ ānewā exactly, but itās still a different chapter of their story so to speak. perhaps theyāve loved each other all along, but this the first time theyāre taking a step back to realize: yes, i have chosenĀ to love you, i have chosen to trust you.
loving each other, being at each otherās sideāthis surely is like breathing for them. but recognizing the weight of it, the burden and the freedom of it, thatās new. and thatās difficult.
so here is Ding Rong testing the boundaries, calling his Commander, his lover, his Wang Zhi impetuous and purposefully bringing up someone WZ was implied to have some sort ofĀ ārelationshipā with inĀ āa string of paper cranesā. he wants to see how much he can push Wang Zhiās buttons, how much Wang Zhi will indulge him and trust him. itās the way they navigate this new dimension of their power dynamic.
Wang Zhi responds with some irritation, though itās more just because he wants Ding Rong to focus on him, on them in this moment, drawn so close to each other that they could be tangled up with each other inextricably. (that could be a string pun if you stand far away enough and squint, right?)
and of course Wang Zhi doesnāt want his silly lieutenant thinking silly things. he wants this too be good for the both of them, he wants to be good for Ding Rong and make good memories for and with Ding Rong. he wants the rest of his life with Ding Rong to be good. so he assures the man: i wantĀ you, i want you. anyone else Wang Zhi mightāve invited into his bed, into his arms, against his mouth will never compare. anyone else would simply be business, whatever must be done for the Ming Dynasty. but Ding Rong, Ding Rong is because Wang Zhi wants to, because Wang Zhi loves him.
itās another reminder that their buddingĀ āofficialā relationship is not because Wang Zhi feels like he owes Ding Rong anything. this isnāt gratitude. this is love, the two of them together and in love.
so of course whatever is Ding Rongās is Wang Zhiās. i talked a lot about in asopc that servants donāt get toĀ āhaveā things, donāt get toĀ āownā things. there was a lot of focus of Wang Zhi trying to understand whether or not his life truly belonged to him (or the Emperor).Ā
but this love is theirs and theirs alone. no oneĀ can take that away from them.
i think every person who walks this earth has that at least, the choice and ability to love and be loved in turn. itās a right we are all born with.Ā
after all, what would humans be if we did not love?