#anna ou

Happy birthday Jasmine Masters!

Jisung: *blushing* I love you too

Minho: uhh.. wrong number

Jisung: .....I’m right here

__

“Do you know what it’s like?”

Jason’s arms caged Dick in close against his chest as his brother shouted and thrashed, muscles straining in the effort that it took to keep one of the world’s best fighters bodily restrained.

Dick screamed when Superman ended Bruce’s life with a resonating crack, floating above the former Hall of Justice, and abruptly sagged in his little brother’s hold when Superman started lecturing about Let this serve as a reminder and a warning, especially to any affiliated with Batman and his cause—

His sobs shook his body violently and Dick’s cried so hard he felt his heart splinter and crack apart in his chest. He cried and cried, burying his face in Jason’s shoulder, arms wrapped tight around his chest like that would somehow keep him from falling apart, mind and heart full of nothing but grief.

“To watch it all fall apart?”

“No!” Dick ran forward, sprinted with all he had in him, slipped away from all who tried to grab him, running full-throttle to reach him.

As he ran he whispered, “No, no, no, no, no, no—” like if he said it enough times, Black Adam would let Jason go. Like if he said it enough times, something would change and Jason would go free—like if he said it enough times, Superman’s Kill any Bats on sight rule would be forgotten.

Like if he said it enough times, he wouldn’t lose his little brother.

But that’s not how life works.

Black Adam saw him running—they locked eyes—and cruelly grinned as Dick’s frantic gaze flicked to lock on Jason’s one exposed green eye. The domino had cracked apart, his helmet was shattered on the ground, and the look of resignation and acceptance and—and sadness, Dick saw in his little brother, made him choke a cry out because he was almost there.

One word ripped away part of Dick’s soul.

“Shazam.”

“To watch everything—”

Tim’s hands didn’t shake as Dick held them. They couldn’t.

Comas don’t normally work like that, Dick had heard. So that meant his hands were shaking. He was the one trembling so hard he could barely breathe. His tears were the ones dripping onto Tim’s hands.

He was the one that couldn’t do anything again.

All he could do was watch Tim’s vitals drop lower, and lower, and lower, until the line was barely moving. All he could do was watch as he lost again.

It took three days for Tim to flatline.

It took three days for the hospital to be introduced to the sound of a brother’s soul lose more of itself.

“—you’ve ever loved, you’ve ever cared about—”

Dick never thought he’d outlive them.

He stared down at the graves he’d made for his little brothers, the grave he’d made for Bruce, the grave he’d made for Alfred.

He stared down at them, and he felt the crushing weight of his grief hit him in the chest like a bullet tipped with poison, and he couldn’t stand anymore. He was on his knees.

And he was crying like he’d just lost them all again.

“—be ripped away from you without a second thought?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“I said—”

“I heard what you said, and you’re wrong. You don’t know what it’s like.”

“I lost my wife—”

“You didn’t watch it.”

“I lost my planet—”

“You never knew your planet.”

“I’ve lost more than you ever will!”

“You’re wrong again.”

“Oh yeah?! And how would you know, how would you decide that!?”

“I have lost so much, so many times. I have given it all and gotten nothing in return. I have watched as the threads of the only thing life has ever offered me in repayment were slowly undone and cut away. You still have something to lose. I have lost it all.”

“You can still lose your life.”

“My family made my life. They’re gone.

i know something about humans that you don't.

i watch them as they sleep at night, haunted by their own ghosts, and writhe in the clutches of something they can't see. i watch them scream and cry and break in an incomprehensible fear, a hell they've created. one of their own.

and get up in the morning like nothing happened; like they hadn't been shattered just mere hours before.

it's fascinating.

humans are unmatched in the sense that they are able to have been defeated in all areas physical, yet stay alive. whereas in other species, it'd have been a death sentence. an anomaly. they are able to get back up after a loss, stronger than before, determined to prove themselves. so much life and light in their eyes and souls, pure and tainted.

but darkness and light comes in a pair, perfectly balanced like twin acrobats on a tightrope. and humans tether on the edge, falling in nothing, yet everything.

no absolutes.

i have seen humans tear themselves apart in search of something more, eyes wild with mania and a sense of desperation so tangible. humans had abandoned everything concrete in pursuit of something fantasy, whimsical, daydreams in the air. something liable to disappear. they leave scratches on their arms and lose so much, just to feed their minds.

funny thing is, it tends to betray them as well.

humans are fascinating creatures. able to break themselves into pieces and put themselves back together, glossing over their cracks or wearing them like badges of honor. scared of nothing, yet everything.

no absolutes.

they dance with death on the edge, living off the adrenaline, far more alive than dead, yet chasing the darkness with nothing but curiosity. but i understand. you'd want to be friends with death too, when something far greater haunts you in your self inflicted hell.

hush now darling, go to bed.

sweet dreams.

i know something about humans that you don't.

they are far more broken than you could ever imagine.