Thanks for answering my ask about Giddon/Bitterblue. I'd love to hear your thoughts on how it's handled.
the moment i clocked it was going to happen all i could think was how important the rest of that development was going to be and how cashore had to proceed very carefully. and i think no matter what, not everyone would be okay with it, and that is completely understandable. how it did end up playing out was, for me, all right in the end--of course if someone disagrees, i can definitely understand that point of view as well.Â
i donât believe that age gaps are inherently bad. however, the context of when a relationship develops and the ages at which the two partners meet are the most important factors for whether or not i think it enters the realm of being bad. i donât see an issue with a relationship between two people meeting at the ages of 50 and 60, for example. but if theyâve known each other since--say--10 and 20? yikes. of course, since bitterblue and giddon were introduced to us at 10 and 18, respectively, it doesnât make for a great setup.
so it was important to me to know the nature of their relationship at those younger ages--if they even had one at all!--and how and when did it grow (in any sense). there isnât any evidence they interact in graceling. from there, we donât have any sense of their having even been introduced to each other until bitterblue, when she is 18 and he is 26. and to be fair, thatâs not a great look for a relationship between them, either. i donât think they were close? she attended council meetings--he does grow closer to her in this book, as they comfort each other. so from what we see of them in bitterblue--and if i remember correctly, which i might not--i donât think the two of them ever had much of a friendship or even an acqaintance-ship until sheâs in her late teens. maybe i just hope that, because otherwise i will have a much bigger problem, but i believe that to be an accurate reading.
from there, how does cashore handle the question of power imbalances? i do think overall she is incredibly conscious of power and who holds it: this very topic even arises in winterkeep, including what factors matter, like gender and size. i was very happy with that discussion. i would have liked to see her look explicitly at age in this case, which she unfortunately did not, so thatâs a criticism of mine. for someone who is very concerned about relationships and power like cashore, i am a little surprised she didnât include it! i will give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, though, if you remember some of what sheâs talked about on her blog regarding her own experience with sexual abuse and pedophilia. while she is of course not infallible, i do think she tries very hard to be a responsible writer.
i find it very important as well that bitterblue has multiple romances and sexual partners between bitterblue, where she first has feelings for saf and sleeps with him, and winterkeep, where her relationship with lovisaâs uncle (canât remember his name right now? help) is in part what kicks the whole thing off. giddon, to his credit, does seem to pine silently and privately. he doesnât display behavior to me that can be read as grooming or predatory. additionally, bitterblue has far more wealth and political power than giddon; she is self assured at this point and supported by plenty of people; and by the time anything even remotely happens between them, she is in her mid-twenties and he is 31.
itâs the context for me that made me okay with it in winterkeep. and again, i certainly understand the criticisms and am not saying everyone needs to agree, iâd be happy to have further conversations around it. (iâd like to point out saf and skye as another âbwuh?â couple with an age gap--though i was very pleased to see our former male romantic lead, whom we already knew was bisexual, find a boyfriend. yes, bitterblue, youâre right he has to stop falling in love with royals, though!) the timeline of development, the mutually-respectful rapport between them, and balance of power are crucial here.Â
ultimately, i just wish i could be a fly on the wall when they have to tell katsa theyâre getting married, lmao.