#anna asks

yes yes YES anon thank you for this gift !!!!! i read this ask and my brain immediately started to get puppy style zoomies of excitement

I am at a very particular point in my hormonal cycle and god damn it once again I have been asking the sub to rescue me in my time of need. It is at present biologically necessary for me to absorb content featuring Draco Malfoy Holding A Baby™.

In case anybody else suffers from the same health condition (called "having a uterus and dipping one toe into my 30s" - it is extremely serious and requires constant intervention), please allow me to share the fics that I have so far read and awarded this tag. I shall endeavour to update the list as I add to it.

For science, you understand.

NB: I have hidden fics for which baby content might be considered spoilers, but have not done so for fics in which the primary focus is pregnancy/childbirth. If you find the appearance of a baby at the end of your HEA pregnancy fic shocking, fair enough, but I refuse to hide the truth from you. Also there are a great many more wonderful fics that feature this trope than the ones on this list - this is merely a curated selection and not my definitive statement on which are Good.

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Two Idiots and a Baby by ellemenno (M, 27k) - One could be forgiven for thinking that the sole motivation for writing this fic was to find an excuse to get Draco and that baby in the same room and let the magic happen - because my god does the magic happen! But ellemenno has the audacity to deliver it to us with as much style and humour as possible. The fact that this baby situation is occurring within a genuinely intriguing murder mystery and a hilarious idiots-in-denial, colleagues-in-love plot (reminiscent of Bad Omens and Scary Partner Privilege) is especially impressive. It contains another favourite micro-trope of mine: the Very Professional Business Sleepover.

Love and Other Historical Accidents by PacificRimbaud (M, 154k) - I know for a fact that this fic was the beginning of this particular fixation for me. It was one of the first fics I read when I discovered Dramione, and it lured me in by my need for regency romance, keeping me all distracted, before slapping me in the face with this perfect baby scene that I still think about constantly. Draco? Draco Malfoy? Having a one-sided conversation with a baby while staring out a window in a regency suit? Fetch the smelling salts, drag the bloody fainting couch over here, I am destined to swoon!

Cave, [Redacted] (E, 31k) / An Auror’s Guide to Horizontal Dueling (E, 16k) by Accio_Funky_Pants - Now, if Draco Malfoy merely holding a baby does funny things to your reproductive organs, let me tell you, you are not even ready for Draco Malfoy delivering a baby! (Hermione's baby, to be exact.) I used to struggle to read childbirth scenes, but the first fic is multiple chapters of...well, exactly that, and it is magnificent. Intimate, cathartic, warms every last cockle of your heart - truly not a cold cockle nor a dry eye left in the house (and no babies left in wombs either). The sequel fic is an extended epilogue in which, yes, you guessed it, Draco interacts yet again with a baby (and then gets laid after everyone demonstrates an extremely thorough understanding of consent). Good for him!

Witching Hour by neilistic (E, 12k) - This one is so overwhelmingly tender, I skimmed it a moment ago to make sure I remembered the plot and that alone nearly succeeded in wringing tears from me. Nice try, neilistic! (No, really, a masterful effort.) There's nothing like two people bonding over their trauma, their loneliness...but (gently) toss some tiny newborn babies into the mix? A dirty trick, designed to undo me, specifically. Ungentlemanly. (But neither half of Dramione have the energy here to be gentlemen. Oh, and did I mention? There's only one bed.)

The Phoenix Potion by FedonCiadale (T, 237k) - The whole cast of OC Granger-Malfoy offspring in this are completely charming. They're all distinct from each other, kind of weirdos in their own way, and I respect the hell out of it - they really do feel like the children of this particular iteration of Dramione. Hermione works a lot, Draco is a very hands-on father, and everything about their dynamic here feels so lived-in and safe, even when the rest of the world is not: their inside jokes and shorthand, their domestic routines, the way their kids make fun of them, all of it! And then there's just copious amounts of Draco handling babies. I rest my case.

epiphanies by HawthorneWhisperer (M, 31k) - single dad Draco gets a lot of page time in this fandom, and deservedly so. Yes, he is a father, but - more importantly - he is Daddy, and this fic wants you to know that it knows that. It is a perfect bite-sized distillation of everything enjoyable about this trope. Special shout-out to baby Scorpius' chubby little limbs, the real MVPs.

Mind the Bump by Soap1 (E, 84k) - There are an overwhelming amount of unplanned pregnancy fics out there - and believe me that could not be further from a complaint (for you see I need my delicious trope soups, their fertile broths sustain me) (I do hate that I typed that). This one has every ingredient necessary for a balanced diet - lots of lovely gentle caretaking and medically-enforced proximity, small bite-size pieces of drama to keep things a little spicy (please, soup metaphor, let me die). Oh! And...what's this? I won't name names, but did two people bring along all of their emotional baggage from their previous relationships with them? Well, I suppose we have room to store it all somewhere in the Manor.

Pros and Cons by ChaosAndCrumpets (E, 48k) - An unplanned pregnancy fic where everything happens in the run up to an election, a famously relaxing time, especially when you are the present M-oh-M! This fic gives you a political strategist Draco of such dazzling competence that it begs the question: is Draco holding a baby merely a matter of perspective? Perhaps anyone held by such a man is rendered a baby in comparison? But don't worry there's a literal baby too (eventually), and before that there's a disgusting slimy baby-man: Cormac McLaggen! (Though, unlike a baby, McLaggen is never held by anyone willingly, or Draco ever.)

The Pureblood Society of Stay-At-Home Dads by PurpleSugarQuills (E, 2k) - I feel like all the information you really need about this one can be contained in one exceptionally powerful sentence: it begins with Draco getting up to do the night feed with a sleepy little four month old. Hush, little one. Domesticated Draco has come to take care of you. Daddy's home. (Which makes sense because he works here.)

Wait And Hope (M, 95k) / Beginning and End (E, 242k) by mightbewriting - Although I do of course love Draco interacting with his own homemade organic babies, my actual favourite iteration of this trope is the moment that Hermione sees Draco with literally any generic brand baby for the first time, and is like, "oh. I see. I had not considered this. I did not know this would feel this way." And that is captured so very beautifully in both of these fics, at different moments, in different ways (and literally remarked upon by Ginny in the former).

Entries below the break contain mild to moderate spoilers

There is a demo for Crescent County available RIGHT NOW on Steam, for free! And you can play it right here! 👇

It's controller-only right now, but we're really happy with its vibey motorbroom driving and exploration! We'll be releasing an updated version very soon, so keep an eye out for it!

Anna!!!!