#angstykinda

“So how’s it going with Lisa?”

“Jim, will you stop asking me about her?  We’ve only been on two dates.”

“C’mon, Bones, I’m just curious!  You like her, right?”

“Well it’s not like I’m thinking about marriage or anything, but I haven’t wanted to throw myself out the garbage chute when I’m with her, like I do when I’m with you, so that’s probably a good sign.”

“When’re you going out again?”

“This Saturday.  Stop looking at me like that.  We haven’t even kissed yet.”

The wine glass in your hand snapped, sending shards crashing to the table that you were white-knuckling, as well as one that embedded itself into your hand.  Red wine splashed down over the front of your clothes, creating a murder scene of glass and blood.  

The people nearest to you had stopped and turned towards you, staring open-mouthed at the crazy wine-glass murderer that stood wide-eyed at the far end of the table.  

You stared at your hand for a moment, in total shock, before raising your head and meeting the eyes of the person who had caused you to snap.  

Leonard. 

That’s when the pain started to set in.  

Your stinging hand was the final thing that made you snap out of it, made you draw your eyes away from the hazel ones you knew all too well, the ones under dark, furrowed brows, the ones that drove you crazy.  

You cradled your arm to your chest carefully and dashed in the direction of the kitchen, not stopping until you found the very far back corner, a secluded section that was not being used for tonight’s gala.  

You thrust your hand over the sink, tears in your eyes as you reached to turn the water on-

“Stop.”

You knew that voice all to well.  It made your heart soar to the top and sink to the bottom of your chest at the same time. 

“You should get the piece out before you run water over it.” Leonard said gently. 

Your hand slowly retreated from the tap and you became acutely aware of how shaky it was.  You stared down at your bloodied hand. 

Get the piece out, you told yourself, just goddamn do it. 

But you couldn’t.  You couldn’t get your mind and free hand to communicate and let go of the steel rim of the sink you were clutching onto.  

“I-I can’t.” You gulped, suddenly aware of the thick lump that had formed in your throat and the stinging pressure behind your eyes. 

“Here, let me see.” Leonard was suddenly beside you, leaning his hip against the sink and tugging at your arm. 

You let him have it.  And he brought your bloodied hand to him and gently plucked the bottle-cap sized piece of glass out of it. 

“There.” He breathed, his eyes flicking between your hand in his and your face. 

You wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Thank you.” You said, turning away and starting to run water over your hand, glad for the pain to distract you. 

The sound of running water was all that you focused on for a while, as Leonard moved away from the sink, and the water ran pink. 

Eventually, you had to turn it off.

The silence rang in your ears until a white package appeared on the counter beside you, which you saw contained a large bandage that Leonard had somehow procured.  You quickly applied it with shaky hands and felt the pain slowly ebb into a soft, pulsing ache.

“Are you alright?” Leonard asked softly. 

You flexed your fingers over the rim of the sink which you were still facing. 

“Fine,” you quipped, “thanks for the bandage.”

He didn’t respond, and there was another bout of deafening silence, which caused your mind to start churning and your jaw to start clenching. 

“What’s wrong?”

Everything. You so desperately wanted to say.  “Nothing.” You actually said. 

“Y/N, c’mon, you can’t keep doing this.”  He sounded tired. 

Doing what?  Loving you?

“Just go, Leonard.” You said, pressing your knees against the counter for support. 

“Just tell me what I can do.” He insisted. 

“NOTHING.” You insisted right back. 

“Y/N.” 

You heard his steps towards you.  Felt his hand rest on your upper arm, and you snapped, shrugging him off quickly.  He reached for you again, this time for your elbow, and you pushed him away again.  Your forearm, you swiped away.  And just as you were turning to push him, to get him away from you, he grabbed your wrist and spun you towards him.  Your other hand instinctively came up as well, and he grabbed that one too. 

He held your wrists, tight, at the level of your head, and looked down at you, hard, insistent, determined.  

You were barely aware of the back of your thighs hitting the far countertop. 

Barely aware of a soft ‘oh’ leaving your lips. 

Barely aware of all your anger fleeing from your chest. 

“What’s.  Wrong.” Leonard said poignantly, his face inches from your own, the heat from his body radiating into you. 

You were staring up at him through watery vision, on the precipice of tears, of breaking down, of falling apart.  

“I miss... I miss...” You stammered, your words getting lost. 

“You miss what, darlin’?”

Darlin’. 

“I miss you.” You whispered. 

There was a heartbeat of pause, a heartbeat of hesitation, but when his thumbs stroked the soft skin of your wrist, you were done for.   

In a moment of pure, blind longing, you surged up and kissed him. 

You expected to find resistance, to find stiffness in the kiss, but the instant your lips touched his, he melted into you.  He released your wrists only to wrap his arms around your waist and back, pulling you flush to him.  

The sensation of your body against his was enough to elicit a moan out of you, and he took the opportunity to kiss you deeper.  

His lips were so familiar, the way he tasted and the way he held you ingrained into your memory, but this also had a fire to it that was just so unique, and so charged, that it left you breathless. 

Your arms wound up around his neck, and you kissed him with every ounce of passion and love that you had.  

And then he was pulling away from your lips, kissing down your neck and leaving fireworks in his wake.  

When he made his way back to your mouth, you kissed him once before breaking it, pressing your forehead to his and holding his jaw in your hand, thumb running over his lips.  

His arms were hot and tantalizing around you, body aflame and breath heating your fingertips. 

“What are we doing?” You whispered deeply. 

He shook his head softly against yours, making you smile. His hazel eyes were alight with a spark that you had not seen in a long time.