#angle dsrph

Angle & Peep

Not one of mine, but super interesting. The two illegal talents, what will they do?

“Yippee! I should do a cartwheel down the street. Can I do a cartwheel? I must be athletic enough to pull it off. But what if I’m not the wheel deal…?”

So this is Angle’s inner monologue… What in the hell is going on here?! xD We’re a paragraph in and there’s already a horrible pun with the “wheel deal” thing, this might be equal parts painful and hilarious I fear.

“I run towards him at top speed.”

Why?!

“He backs up as I approach him, which was probably a good idea, as the force of my approach pins him to the building wall with a slam. Angle: Gimme everything in your pockets, now! Peep: Wh–huh??? Are you mugging me? Angle: Yeah! Stick ‘em up!”

??????? Sister in Christ we’ve been here two seconds. Holy shit she’s actually even crazier than I remembered I love her so much xD

“Peep: Um… so, does that mean you’re not mugging me…? Angle: Guess not! We’ll have to save it for later, once you have some cash on you again!”

We’re actually insane. What is happening.

“Peep: I didn’t really think anybody would care about that… Angle: Well, I do, I guess! So tell me. Peep: I don’t know… You’re not really supposed to tell your name to someone who’s trying to mug you… Angle: C’mon, man, that was in the past.”

Y’know, Peep’s saying some concerning things, but it’s kinda getting drowned out by whatever’s wrong with Angle (/aff).

“Peep: I definitely don’t want to tell you my name if you’re the Ultimate Bounty Hunter…! Angle: Lol, why? You worried I’m gonna kill you?”

We’re saying ‘lol’ out loud. Actually a girl after my own heart apparently. Lol.

“Angle: That’s fair. You do have kind of a killable aura to you.”

Bruh. This better not be foreshadowing ToT

“Man, this guy is really quiet!”

Man I wonder why!!!

“Angle: Ohhhh, Ultimate Stalker. Okay, cool!”

Should’ve figured the reaction would have been funny lmao.

“Peep: I mean… Some people think that stalking is wrong, even though that doesn’t make any sense. But, since your talent is also something that’s typically frowned upon, maybe you get it… Peep thinks to himself for a moment before erupting in frustration. Peep: No, what am I thinking?! Showing off your admiration and being a literal murderer aren’t the same at all!”

Oh right I forgot he’s insane too. Actually unhinged, how does he not know why stalking is wrong. We’re going crazy.

“Peep: There are amazing people out there who deserve to be appreciated as much as humanly possible! Dedicating your life to theirs is completely understandable. On the other hand, agreeing to end lives for a paycheck is super weird… Angle: Hey, paychecks are way more amazing than whoever you’re talking about!”

Okay this conversation is unhinged in every direction. It’s the best kind of train wreck I’ve ever witnessed lmao.

“Just because Peep (as far as I know) doesn’t have a bounty on him doesn’t mean that I couldn’t kill him. It’d just kinda be a waste of time. But, would it be more of a waste of time than standing here listening to him trash talking paychecks…?”

Fucking hell Angle. This better not be foreshadowing ToT

Okay, that was peak. Just, fantastic train wreck of a conversation. I loved every second of it, I’m so glad this got requested xD Whoever did it, your mind is beautiful…

Flare & Keen

Didn’t request this one either, but it’s interesting! I wonder how it’s gonna go…

“I have to get out of this place. This entire stupid dome, obviously, but even more than that, this ROOM!”

Oh hell yeah Flare PoV. It would have been fun seeing Keen’s deductions in real time, but this is funnier xp

“Whoever’s behind this kidnapping is trying to prove that they know more about me than I do. That’s illegal. WHAT IF THEY’RE RIGHT???”

Brother what are we crashing out about ToT Is there really nothing else you might be worried about?

“I’ve already been perceived in this building for too long, caught up talking with that walking safety hazard and scary sword guy.”

‘Scary Sword Guy’ is funny lol.

“However, in my hurry to exit, I make contact with an alien lifeform.”

What are calling Keen this for? ToT

“She’s already proven herself a fool. When isn’t there a reason to yell???”

Oh my god they’re all insane. They’re out of their goddamn minds. This is going to be my favorite fangan ever at this rate… :O

“Flare: I already know who you are, obviously. Keen smirks, pleased. Keen: Finally, my reputation precedes me. I wouldn’t have pegged you as an avid mystery reader, but I’m gla– Flare: Huh? Who gives a fuck about that??? I just read your profile on that tablet thing! Keen: Oh. Keen deflates slightly.”

Oh, Keen’s a little prideful, I see! Also funny from Flare lol.

“Keen: Simply obtaining knowledge of one’s name and profession isn’t an introduction. I won’t let you pass until you engage with me on a deeper level. WHAT THE HELL IS SHE THINKING?!“

Brother. It is not that serious ToT

“Flare: Whatever!!! I can take you in a fight! Keen: Wow, I didn’t know that about you. Flare: GAH! Get out of my head! Keen: You quite blatantly said that aloud.”

Get outplayed lmao.

“Keen: What, you don’t want me to listen to you? Flare: Not if you’re going to INTERROGATE me!!! Keen: First of all, technically, that’s another thing I didn’t know about you. Secondly, I suppose that means I have no obligation to listen to your pleas for escape.”

Oh he’s getting cooked. Get his ass Kween! Get it? Like Keen and Queen? That’s awful? Alright I’ll cut it out xD

“Flare: Well, GUESS WHAT? By the inverse function theorem– Keen: –What?– Flare: –I’ve learned an EQUIVALENT amount of information about you! You can’t take me in a fight, and you want to interrogate me! You might even want me to listen to you!!! Keen: …And? Flare: Including your name, code name, and profession, THAT’S SIX THINGS! SIX THINGS I KNOW ABOUT YOU!!! I grin. Her fate is sealed. Flare: I win.”

What are we even saying anymore man? Flare what is wrong with you ToT

“Keen: This is too much. Flare: Yeah, you are. Keen: No, you. The introduction of trivial hurdles is an essential step in fleshing out one’s narrative skeleton, but those hurdles can’t be so utterly off-putting that no one wants to engage with the core concept.  Keen grimaces at me. Keen: Whoever decided to install you in this experience must have either miscalculated, or have an abnormally high tolerance.”

Alright now Keen’s talking kinda crazy. Love that she’s effectively talking about accirax in a very roundabout way, because come on, if any character was going to talk directly through the fourth wall… xD

“Flare: Stop talking about “fleshing” skeletons. You’re weird.”

Bruh T_T

“Keen: Flare, the Ultimate Drone Pilot. Gender: Male. Height– Flare: AAAAAAAAAAH!”

I love them so much actually. They’re so funny, it’s peak I'm afraid. This was fantastic, thanks to whoever submitted this because it was awesome :D

Alabaster & Tylwyth

Oh hey, I actually submitted this one! Yay! :D

“The hour Sunny gave us whiles on as I wait for more future converts to gravitate my way. Except, the reception I’ve been getting from the “students” here hasn’t been the most welcome thus far, has it?”

Oof. That’s rough, buddy.

“I don’t understand why my usual charms have had no effect on these people. They have more within reach and more that could slip out of their grasp than the average person, so they should be even more inclined to seek stability and growth alongside the Gypsumites. Well, it’s no matter. All it takes is one drop in the bucket to signal the beginning of a rainstorm. Once I can get one of these students to bite, the rest will feast accordingly.”

Welp, there’s the probably-a-cult leader shining through. Everyone’s insane here, I gotta remember that.

“Perhaps [Tylwyth] could serve as that first point of contact…”

For some reason I doubt that :p

“Alabaster: Hello there! Pardon the intrusion, but, am I correct in assuming that that’s a shepherd’s crook you’re carrying with you? Tylwyth: Why, yes, it is! I take it you’re familiar with them? Alabaster: Of course. While I can’t claim to have used one directly, I’ve certainly had the chance to watch others put them to use. Tylwyth: That makes complete sense. Now that I know, I can easily tell that you’re a guy who’s had a crooked past.”

Wow. Clocked in two lines. I guess she could be wrong, but it’s still super funny that she immediately jumped on offense xD

“Just what does she think she stands to gain by insinuating that I haven’t lived a life of virtue? No matter the reason, I can’t let her get under my skin.”

Yeah this is a good start xD

“Alabaster: I assume you must be the same, if you’ve chosen to carry it with you on this expedition. Tylwyth: Crook my heart and hope to die. Alabaster: Well, if you’ve ever wished to move away from your own crooked path, I have a solution for you.”

I’m fucking losing it. Stop saying crook ToT

“Alabaster: Yes. He’s an all-powerful, all-knowing deity, and by channeling His word through my body, He’s able to share His wisdom with the world. If you’re interested in joining His worship, He can help you achieve even greater heights than you’ve thus far even imagined. Tylwyth: Oh, thank goodness! If I start praying with all my heart right now, how soon can I hope to see results? She’s acting oddly eager. I can’t help but feel as if something is off about her. Still, it’s likely best to move along with the usual procedures.”

Brother. I don’t think she’s interested xD

“Tylwyth: O Great Gypsum, I find myself between a rock and a hard place. I’m so far from home, and have no idea what I’m doing amidst these strange and startling foreigners– especially that self-proclaimed tour guide who claims he was brought here for my benefit. But we both know his claims are false, don’t we? Tylwyth smiles piously, looking up at the sky with a twinkle in her eye. The sky is actually considered unholy land in Gypsumish faith, but I can correct her on that later. Tylwyth: You’re the only one who’s meant to guide me. So, trapped beneath the heel of this false idol, I ask of thee but one thing: can you just fucking smite that guy for me?”

Okay, interesting lore about Gypsumism aside, “can you just fucking smite that guy for me?” is fucking hilarious. I love her so deeply already it’s a problem ToT

“Alabaster: … …”

You know it’s bad when even the internal monologue shuts up xp

“Tylwyth: That bastard is trying to trap the Voice of the Great Gypsum within this dome under his own command. But you, Father Oswald, are far too important in the Great Gypsum’s grand scheme to remain sidelined for weeks, months, or years on end! Hence, his holiness should endeavor to get you out at any cost, including-but-not-limited-to one puny human life. Is she genuinely deranged, or just trying to get a rise out of me?”

Oh my god she’s funny. Alabaster’s already losing his fucking mind and we’ve been here two minutes xD

“Alabaster: Yes, but that’s not his modus operandi. The Great Gypsum prefers to let poor decisionmaking run its course, such that the sinner in question can experience the full repercussions of such a choice. Tylwyth: Oh. In that case, he’s kinda not doing anything, is he? Alabaster: … She’s definitely attempting to upset me. But it’s nothing to fret over. The Great Gypsum can stand tall through anything.”

Yep. Ragebaiting is basically Tylwyth’s whole thing lmao.

“Though I’ve nominally recruited another follower to our ranks, I can’t help but feel as if I’ve made negative progress. Tylwyth’s attitude was self-evident, but her motivations remain inscrutable. Does she find undercutting others humorous? Or does she derive satisfaction from striking blows at established structures? Either way, I’d best keep an eye on her, assuming we really are to be confined together within this dome on a more permanent basis. The idea that the Great Gypsum would smite someone is ridiculous. When He manages to enact our expulsion from this place, it will be from the power of His Word alone.”

Welp, that was a fun thing to leave on. Alabaster seems to be very genuine in his devotion, at least, so that’s great. And Tylwyth’s just as big of an asshole as she’s always been, I love my potentially-baby-stealing queen.

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