#angelsportion

Review – The Glenfiddich, Project XX, Experimental Series #2, 47%

“Evelyn, honey, I’m tired and I just want to pour myself a whisky, sit by the fireplace, and rest in the quiet.” “But you look like you need some joy.” “No, I look like I need some restful quiet. And a whisky.” “And some joy. You need some joy.” “Honey, I love you, but you need to go play somewhere else right now.” “I’m just gonna go right over here.” “And do what?” “I’m going to get some of my…

Review – Journeyman Distillery, Featherbone, (No Age Stated), 45%

I mentioned not all that long ago that I’d never been hunting before, and being the “go big or go home” kind of guy that I am, I figured I’d book my first safari off-world. You’ll recall that I managed to bag a full grown Xenomorph charging at me from about two-hundred yards with my Famas. But of course, at a thousand rounds per minute, how could I miss, right? Well, what I didn’t tell you is…

When I finish a bottle, I take what I call a “man down” photo. Typically, I’ll lay the bottle on its side, the cork removed but visible, and I’ll include a glass containing the edition’s final pour. It’s also not uncommon for me to add additional staging before typing a quick sentence or two and posting it on social media. A few examples of this practice are included below. As you can see, I…

Details matter. For me, details are like a recipe’s ingredients. If you miss one, no matter how insignificant it might seem, things can go south in a hurry. Details are the tiny heroes laboring in our lives and work. They turn “good” into “great.” They’re the bridge from “almost there” to “nailed it.” Admittedly, some details are more important than others. While each is a brushstroke in the…

In the spirit of collegial concern, I want you to know that I’ve discovered what very well could be the scroogiest restaurant in America. By scroogiest, I mean that every aspect of the experience was fine-tuned to provide all things in penny-pinching minimality. I won’t share the name or location of the restaurant except to say that it exclusively sells Panera Bread products and that I was in…

The thing about writing satire is that sometimes I just don’t feel very funny. Sometimes, I’m tired of the sound of my own voice in my own head. Thankfully, the world around me is reliably absurd. Thankfully, its voice, while equally exhausting, is forever resonating with foolish things worthy of ridicule. For example, consider my morning. I was tired. I did not sleep well. I did not feel…

You know there must be something wrong with an item when its price tag is well below the item’s value. For example, I once bought a Marshall speaker stack for my guitar amp for about half what it was worth. It was in great shape, with hardly any wear and tear. However, the price foretold an issue. And there was one. Only two of the four speakers worked. Fortunately, it was a wiring issue that was…

I saw the strangest thing. It was early, a little after 7:00 AM. I was on my way to the office. Barely a quarter mile from my subdivision’s exit, I pulled into the parking lot of our town’s only hardware store to fetch something from the rear of my Wrangler. Item in hand, I mounted the pilot’s seat and prepared to resume my journey. Rolling toward the lot’s exit, I noticed two pedestrians—a man…