unfinished.

you wake up from your nap with a sapphire promise ring and a sinking feeling; clawing your way into his arms and his space and his time, and suddenly you’re 12 and awkward with glasses and crooked limbs and trying trying to get someone to pay attention on your toes with your best grades with your screams and cries and tears and no one’s listening

you ask a boy for his heart and he gives you a replica of his beating heart on a platter and a knife

and on closer inspection you see he’s giving you the keys to get free, because you only ever hold yourself back in punishment; repentance for sins you’ve never committed because you’ve convinced yourself you’re a murderer but you’re holding a knife and his heart and he asks you to stab him and you still don’t do it you won’t do it because it’ll hurt him

but you asked a boy for his heart and he gave you a replica of his beating heart on a platter and a knife

still, he never gave you his time or his attention or his affection.

you ask a boy for his heart and he gives you a replica of his beating heart on a platter and a knife

but all you asked for was his heart not all this

stardust (started november 2022) by me