#angeldodger

Last minute preparations filled the air with a tangible excitement. It all coursed through her veins better than any drug, but as she caught a glimpse of her son's room out of the corner of her eye, tears welled with the vision of a small boy running through those doors screaming happily, 'Momma, Momma!' Days with him that size were gone, memories now. Never were two people more perfect for one another than Carmen and her baby boy, Lainey and she always knew that, but letting him grow up was harder than Angel could have possibly imagined. She knew what they had to do, and she couldn't bear it. Cal had spoken with her many times over the decision, no matter how many times she pushed the ideas away.

A gentle sob broke from the stoic outer shell of Angel Dodger. "My baby," she hoarsely whispered between painful gasps. He was the only one she'd ever have, and he was a groom on this January 31st of 1970. She could remember how he felt in her arms that first time, and she knew her role was always to be his mother. Nothing meant what that did. His life with her flashed before her eyes, filled with laughter and games, heartbreak and bloody knees, long talks and small 'thank you Momma's, holding him tight and 'I love you.'

At the footsteps behind her, she quickly wiped her eyes, "I changed my mind, Cal, I can't le--" She turned around and was met with the very real presence of a man. The man her little boy had become. 

"You don't have to let me go, Momma," Rod told her softly, he was so much like Cal in nearly all ways...but oh, he still had her heart. "I'm who I am 'cause of you. This is a beginning, not an ending. I'm always gonna be 'round, I just won't live with ya anymore." Stepping forward to close the gap, he wrapped his arms around her and breathed in her ear, "I won't tell Pops if you cry with me for a little while."

Then, she began to talk, "you know, little Carmen, us Greaser women, we're a tough lot, so I know you may be small now. One day, you're gonna be big and strong and the world's got so, so much to give you. You're Lainey's miracle...and Lainey's mine. You got the best mother in the whole wide universe, ya know. Of course, you already know that. She was so boss, you got impatient to meet her face-to-face. We've talked about you for a very long time, and guess what? You're even better than I could have imagined, Carmen Elaine." She stood and looked down as the child squirmed a little with a soft cry.

"Go ahead, you won't break her," she gave herself a pep talk as she reached down and pulled back. "Angel..." She spun around at the sound of her sister's voice. A soft smile that was forever imprinted on Angel's mind lit her glowing face. Lainey was meant to be a mother, it filled every ounce of her soul. She had been Angel's rock through this chaotic life, the comings and goings, the rough fights, and the emotional pregnancies. With a reassuring nod, she turned back to the baby, "alright, I'm new at this, so please don't cry." Lifting the tiny infant who weighed a lot less than she originally anticipated, she cradled her, being careful of her head. That's what they said on television and movies, 'watch the head.'

As she gently rocked Carmen, a smile spread slowly across her face. She turned around to show Lainey and was met with the sight of all her best friends together. Cal and Landon had joined Lainey as they watched Angel overcome her fear to hold the child. "She didn't cry," she joked with tearful eyes and choked out a laugh. Angel had wanted a girl so badly that she couldn't bear it, but here she was holding little Carmen Welch and it was enough. She had her girl, even if God never gave her one of her own.

Just then, the infant began to stir a little in her arms as a soft cry started to filter through the air. "Oh!" Angel exclaimed suddenly with a look of shock that carried over to her husband and her friends. "Angel baby, what's 'a matter?" Cal stepped up with concern covering his usually stoic expression.