#anesthesia effects

“What’s going on here?”

“Oh, hey! Welcome back, kiddo! Poor Logan is just feeling the effects of the anesthesia, I’m afraid. He’ll be right as rain in no time, though.” Patton cheerfully reassured him, but the bright red dusting his cheeks was a dead giveaway that something was off.

“Rrrrrrright as rain??? W...whudduz that even MEAN, Pat??? Issss...it don’t make SENSE!!!” Logan slurred, still hugging the moral side tightly. He looked up, caught sight of Patton’s face, and a huge, dopey smile spread across his face.

“You’re so pretty, Pat. D-did I ever tell ya that?” Patton’s face was getting redder by the second, and Roman was wheezing now.

“Awww, you might have mentioned it once or twice, Teach! We really should get you to bed, though.”

“Ooooohhhhh, I’d go to bed wif you anytime!” The sly tone of voice made it instantly suggestive, and Virgil clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle the laugh that wanted to break free. Patton coughed, gently pulling Logan’s arms away and leaning back.

“We can revisit that when you’re sober, Teach, but right now maybe Roman or Virgil should help you?”

“Noooooo, dun want them!!! Don’t you looooooove meeeee?” Logan whined, latching back onto Patton, who had never looked more conflicted.

“Of course I do, Logan! I just think maybe I’m not the best person to help you right now. Here, why don’t you talk to Virgil? You were talking about space, remember?” Logan’s face lit up, and he finally relinquished his hold on the moral side, who breathed a sigh of relief.

“Vige...you...you know space, right?!” Virgil choked the laughter down. He shared a look with Roman, and the royal immediately got out his phone and started filming.

“Yeah, Logan, a little. Why don’t you tell me more though?”

“Okay, okay….okay….so….space is BIG!!! An’ there’ssss all thisss shit in it….oops...I-I shouldn’t say that. It’s...is not shit, like poop. It’s stuff. There’s sssstuff in it!” Logan was waving his hands enthusiastically, weaving in place a little. His glasses were slightly askew and his tie was hanging loose around his neck. His eyes were glassy and unfocused.

“What kind of stuff, Lo?”

“Ohhhhh allllll kindsa stuff! Like...there’s ssstars an’ moons an’ planets and black holes! But those’re...those aren’t things….they’re like...the...the...wazza word I’m lookin’ for???” Logan looked helplessly at Patton, who was giggling next to him.

“Absence?” Logan snapped his fingers, pointing at Patton so quickly he almost poked him in the face.

“YEAH!!! THASSA WORD!!! Ab...absynth of stuff….no, thasss not right…”

“Boy, Dad sure is smart, huh?” Virgil grinned when Logan immediately shifted his attention back to Patton and sighed dreamily.

“Course he is!!! P...Pat’s ALWAYS smart...jussss not as smart as me!”

“I don’t know, Lo...he’s pretty smart right now.”

“Pffffft! I’m….I’m allllllwayyyyssss smart!” Now Virgil couldn’t help the chuckles escaping every now and then. Oh god, this was hilarious. He glanced to his side and yup, Princey’s still recording. It was probably going to be shaky as hell with Roman laughing so hard, but still.

“Awww, of course you’re smart, Teach!” Patton said encouragingly, and Logan immediately beamed, which was such an unusual facial expression that it was almost like looking at two Pattons for one disconcerting moment.

“Mmmmma teacher! I...I gotta...find the class!” Logan tried to stand up, weaving unsteadily, and Patton shot to his feet, quickly grabbing his arm to hold him in place.

“Oh, no, sorry Logan. Class was cancelled today. You should probably go lie down, don’t you think?” Logan snickered, a smirk spreading across his face.

“Patton wants ta get me into beeeeeed!” It was said in a sing-song voice, and just when Virgil thought maybe Patton was going to blush himself to death, the moral side straightened his spine, a determined set to his jaw.

“Yes, I do. You need to go to bed, Logan. Right now.” Patton rarely broke out the Dad Voice, but when he did, it always worked. Except for this time, apparently, because Logan was too busy humming and wandering away to pay attention.

“Ssssabout time ya finally admitted it! OH MY GOD!!! ROMAN, LOOK!!!” Logan pointed excitedly out the window, and Roman stepped closer, still recording. This was too good.

“What’s going on, Logan?”

“Isssa bee!”

“Yeah, they’re out there sometimes, pal.”

“I’m….mmm your PAL?!” Logan stared at him, and Roman laughed at his stunned expression.

“Of course you are, Logan.”

“Oh...okay. Ro, look!!!”

“What are we looking at?”

“It’s...it’sssssa bee!!!”

“Okay, I’ve had enough of this. Roman, put the phone down. Virgil, go open Logan’s door.” Patton was still in Dad Mode, apparently, and both of them hurried to do as he asked. Patton crossed the room in four large strides, then grabbed Logan and scooped him up. The logical side squawked in indignation, but quickly settled into Patton’s arms with a dopey smile.

Patton carried him to his room, gently depositing him on the bed. Logan whined and tried to hold him there, but Patton gently pried his arms away. He smiled down at Logan, who gazed dreamily back. With a snap of his fingers, Logan was in his unicorn onesie.

“Oooohhhh….ssss kinky….” Logan mumbled. Patton rolled his eyes and carefully tucked the loopy side into bed.

“Go to sleep, Logan.”

“Love you, Pat…” That froze him in place for a minute, and Patton felt his heart skip a beat. He sighed a little when he heard Logan’s first soft snore. Out like a light, of course.

“Love you too, Logan.” Patton murmured, gently taking off his glasses and setting them on the side table. “Of course you’d say it for the first time when you’re drugged out of your mind. What am I going to do with you?”

In the doorway, Virgil silently glanced at Roman and gestured him down the hall. As soon as the door shut behind them, the hushed whispers started.

“HOLY SHIT--” Virgil whisper shouted, his sweater paws pressed up to his face.

“I KNOW!!!” Roman cut him off, his eyes wide.

“DID HE JUST--?”

“OH MY GOD HE DID!!!”

“Did you get it??? Please tell me you got it!”

“Oh yeah!” Roman pulled out his phone, and they both watched the video again. Logan’s sleepy confession was hilarious, but the heartbreaking expression on Patton’s face killed their laughter.

“Dad’s really gone on him, isn’t he?” Virgil chewed his nail nervously, his mind already coming up with all the different ways things could go wrong for the moral side. Roman snorted, putting his phone away.

“That’s an understatement...” Silence reigned between the two for a few moments, then Roman’s face lit up. He grabbed both of Virgil’s shoulders, a huge smile on his face.

“Oh my god, I have an idea, Surly McEmo!”

When Logan woke up the next day, his head felt a little fuzzy and there was a bitter taste in his mouth, but otherwise he felt normal. He tried to recall the events of the the previous afternoon, but he only got vague bits and pieces. He huffed, grabbing his glasses, then froze as he stared down at himself.

“Why am I wearing this?” Logan verbalized the thought, staring at his unicorn onesie. He didn’t sleep in this, ever. He had pajamas, which were much more comfortable and conducive to a good night’s rest. He quickly showered and changed into his usual attire. He was about to walk to the kitchen to drink some coffee and hopefully dispel the remaining fuzziness from his mind when an arm shot out from Roman’s room, quickly dragging him inside.

“What the--!”

“Shut up!” Virgil’s voice hissed at him, and he stopped struggling. The darker side released him, and he saw both him and Roman standing behind him.

“What is going on?!”

“You’re an idiot, that’s what’s going on. And Roman’s an even bigger idiot, but that’s not news to anybody.”

“HEY!” Virgil rolled his eyes at Roman’s affronted shout.

“Look, the anesthesia had you messed up yesterday, and you were all over Patton. Like...all over him. We all know you’re stupid in love with the guy, and he’s in love with you, so what is the goddamn problem?!”

“I...what?!” Logan was shocked, staring from Virgil’s irritated face to Roman’s sympathetic one.

“Better see for yourself, Professor.” Roman handed Logan his phone, and he played the video. He could feel his face flushing a deep scarlet as it went on, watching him make a fool of himself. At the end, when he confessed the secret he’d kept for so many years, he wanted to throw the phone away from himself, but watching Patton’s reaction gave him pause.

“I...I don’t...I…” Logan stuttered, looking hopelessly lost.

“I told you my plan was better!” Roman hissed.

“Shut up, your plan was ridiculous.” Virgil snapped back. “Look, Logan….you’re in love with Dad. He’s in love with you. You just saw actual video evidence. What is it going to take for you to sack up and do something about it?! The more you drag your feet, the more you hurt Dad, and I’m not having that.”

“...You know he’s not actually anybody’s--”

“Roman, if you finish that sentence I swear to god I’m going to go through all of your vintage Disney posters and on one of them, you won’t know which, I’m going to draw a dick. In permanent marker.” Roman’s outraged gasp was obnoxiously loud, but he stopped talking, so Virgil would let it slide.

“What do I do? What can I possibly say to him? I am his opposite in every way. I hurt him, often. I don’t mean to, it is never intentional, but it is also unlikely  to change given our natures. I am not what he needs, Virgil. He deserves someone who can make him happy.” Logan looked at the floor, utterly dejected.

“Oh, that is nonsense! Yes, you do hurt his feelings from time to time, but as you said, it is never intentional and often the result of your lack of understanding. Do you honestly think Patton would refuse to teach you about emotions? Being with him is the best decision you could possibly make. You would be a fool otherwise, and the last time I checked, you rather prided yourself on being clever. Just go tell him how you feel, sober this time. I promise that you won’t regret it.” Roman huffed, pointing towards the door. Logan blinked a few times, then hesitantly made his way back out to the hallway.

As he walked towards the kitchen he heard Roman’s voice behind him “My plan would have been SO much more fun!” and Virgil’s “Your plan was freaking insane, and involved rainbow glitter canons!” in response. He could not believe he was taking advice from those two, and he needed coffee before he did anything else.

He almost froze in place when he walked in and saw Patton happily making breakfast and humming to himself as he flitted from place to place. He silently observed the object of his affections for a moment, struck again by how much he truly cared for him. Patton was….everything. He had tried to bury his feelings, to ignore them, for so long that admitting them was daunting to say the least. Patton turned to grab something and yelped, dropping the spatula in his hand and clutching his chest.

“Jeez, Teach, you nearly scared the life out of me! How are you feeling today?” Patton’s smile might have passed for normal to anyone but Logan. He knew every expression on the moral side’s face, and this smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“I...I...ummm….” Logan stuttered, staring helplessly. Why was this so difficult?! Patton’s smile grew more genuine as he watched the logical side stammer. He really did love Logan so much. Logan blew out a deep breath and tried again.

“I...this is hard...I MEAN...NOT...WAIT…!” his eyes flew wide, his face flushing a deep red. Patton arched a brow, watching him flush and stammer.

“I’m sure you were last night, given how much you were trying to coax me into bed.” Patton’s smile was wicked, and Logan’s face felt like it was on fire. He inhaled deeply. He could do this, all he had to do was verbalize his feelings. It wasn’t that difficult.

“I you in love me with...goddammit….” Logan mentally facepalmed. Patton giggled, and Logan decided to cut his losses and walk away. He’d just turned to leave when he felt the moral side’s arms slip around his middle, pulling back into a soft embrace.

“I think you just tried to say you’re in love with me, and I love you too, Logy Bear.” Logan practically melted into a puddle at Patton’s soft voice in his ear, and a shy smile spread across his face. He turned in Patton’s arms, slowly putting his arms around the moral side’s neck.

“You seem to be struggling with words today, Lo, but I’ve got the perfect solution for that.” Patton beamed at him, then leaned down and glided his lips over Logan’s in a soft, teasing kiss. Logan blinked when they broke apart, then tried one last time.

“I...I love you, Patton. I am sorry it took a regrettable incident to finally tell you.” Patton chuckled, softly trailing nibbling kisses across his cheek and down his neck, and Logan felt his knees wobble dangerously.  

“Regrettable…?” Logan made a strangled sound in his throat at Patton’s mischievous purr.

“Semi-regrettable.” He quickly amended.

[Two Months Later]

Virgil stormed into the kitchen and fiercely pointed at a surprised Patton. 

“DAD, COME GET YOUR RIDICULOUS BOYFRIEND!”

“Viiiiiiirrrrggggiiiiillllll!!! Waaaaiiiit! I….I gotta tell ya…..about the beeeeeeees!” Logan called from the other room, clearly loopy again. Thomas had needed another round of anesthesia on a recent surgery, and while the others had known what was coming, they hadn’t expected it this fast.  

“If I have to hear another fact about bees I am flinging myself into the freaking void.” Virgil hissed, and Patton laughed before walking out to the living room.

“I want to hear all about the bees, Logy Bear!” Patton beamed, watching his boyfriend (who had his tie around his forehead and was currently weaving in place on the couch) light up.

“Beeeeeeeessssss!!! Paaaat, I loooooove you!!! You should….you’re like...the best bee. Cuz you’re mine.” Logan made grabby hands, and Patton sat down, allowing his boyfriend to cling to him like a koala bear and gleefully stroke his hair.

There was never a dull moment with loopy Logan, was there?

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