But my feet didn't feel the same way as me, and I was already at the large, ornately carved door. I felt the roughness of the wood beneath my fingers. I hadn't felt this small and ashamed since I was little when I would wait at the back door of the Argonian woman's home for the food her children didn't eat.

I leaned all my weight against the door and felt it give way. It creaked as it opened and the warmth from the large fire pit in the middle of the main room rolled over me. My skin felt as though it was on fire, I hadn't realized how cold I had gotten.

There were tables set up around the fire pit and the food that is being prepared smelled wonderful. My stomach growled and my shame deepens. As fit as I was to care for myself in the lush forests of Cyrodiil I was helpless in this foreign land. I had learned on my walk here that my bow and arrows were no match for the looming elk that made the best meals out here. It was like being stung by a bee for them. I hadn't eaten since the food Gerdur had graciously given me in Riverwood.

I was taken aback for a moment by the brightness of the fire that burned in the center of the mead hall, and I had let go of the door, which closed with a loud thud. Embarrassed, I glanced around to see if anyone had taken notice of my entrance. I quickly realized that no one was even looking at me, they were all looking at the commotion taking place further into the hall. I took a step further into the room and craned my neck to see what fascinated so many people.

I could hear the fight before I could see it.

"You're pathetic!" I heard a woman yell.

"Keep it up, you'll wear him out!" the man on my right calls out in reply.

The intense fist fight looked like it had been going on for awhile and like it wasn't stopping anytime soon. The dark elf seemed to be taking most of the blows, but when he managed to land one on the Nord woman they were sound and heavy. I was fascinated by how they moved, it seemed almost like a dance. One would move, and the other would match the movement. The woman seemed to effortlessly dodge most of the elf's attacks and in the same move would put so much power into her blows.

The elf cried out as he fell to the ground. "I yield!" he shouted, raising an arm.

I was shocked to hear the Nord woman laughing. "Good job Athis," she reached down a hand to help him up, "you lasted much longer that time."

"I thought I almost had you," he took her hand and hoisted himself up.

She laughed even harder, "right, Athis. It's me."

"Who are you?" the man standing next me had turned and was staring at me.

"I, uh..." he had caught me off guard, I didn't know what to say. 'Hello, I am a pathetic excuse for a Nord who can't survive outside for a night and has no money. Can I stay here?' thinking it made my thoughts from earlier of staying here for a night almost comical.

"Hey," a familiar voice called, "I remember you." I turned to see the man I had met earlier that day, outside of the hold.

"Oh, Farkas," the man turned his attention away from me, "do you know this whelp?"

"Sort of," he scratched his head, "she was near where we killed that giant today. I told her to stop by."

The older man, who was much taller than the man I already knew, sighed, "Farkas, you can't keep inviting just anyone to come to Jarrvaskr."

"Sorry Skjor," he mumbled.

"But," he looked at me again his single blind eye boring into my soul, "she looks strong. Take her down to see Kodlak."

"Alright," Farkas looked at me and smiled, "follow me."

I followed him silently through the hall, trying not to make eye contact with too many of the residents. People made me so uneasy, I was much more at home in a tree, talking to the birds and foxes. He led me down into the sleeping halls and past what seemed like designated rooms. The stone hall was long and ended with a room that had two men sitting in it.

"My brother Vilkas is a better talker than me," Farkas smiled, "he's right in there with Kodlak. Go on in."

I stood there and watched him walk away. I felt abandoned, left alone in a world I didn't know or understand.

"Vilkas, a moment please," the old man at the table interrupted the younger one, "a stranger has come to our hall." He turned and looked at me, a warm smile on his face, "come in Lass, please come in." He motioned for me to enter.

"I, I didn't mean to interrupt," I looked at the younger man. He did look a lot like Farkas, eerily much so. But cleaner, he didn't have a beard and his hair was trimmed shorter and tucked behind his ears. "I am sorry," I mumbled as he just stared at me, a blatant look of disapproval on his face. Surely this hard, mean looking man wasn’t related to the kindhearted man I had met.

"What can I do for you Lass?" the older man smiled.

"I was told to stop by, that perhaps I could join your group here," I tightened my grip on the strap of my bag.

"Oh, were you now?" he sat back in his chair and stroked his beard, "well, let me take a look at you."

I wasn't sure what he meant. I was standing right in front of me, hadn't he been looking at me? He stared at me. His eyes were much older than he seemed to be, they seemed to see through me as if he knew my whole life's story, all my most honorable moments, and my darkest secrets. He was beginning to make me uncomfortable, I felt like I was squirming in my own skin.

"Yes," He sat forward in his chair, his eyes still burning into me, "a certain strength of spirit."

"Kodlak," the hard man stood, "surely you don't mean to accept her?"

"Vilkas, we have many empty beds here that need to be filled with shield-siblings who's hearts are full of fire," he chastised the younger man.

"Of course," he took a step towards me. It felt threatening like he was testing me, "but their skills matter too."

"Of course," Kodlak sighed and sat back in his chair, "of course. In the morning you can take her to the yard and test her. You will train her if she needs improvement."

"Aye," Vilkas relented. He glared as he shoved past me.

"Forgive him, Lass," the old man stood now, "he is a good man. Just hesitant to trust strangers. He has a strong heart and will be the best to teach you." His smile warmed me somewhere inside my chest that felt as if it had never been warmed. It filled me from the inside out, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you, Sir."

"What's your name Lass?" he rested a hand on my shoulder.

"Dyre."

"Welcome," he lead me out to the hall.

"Now," he placed his hand on my shoulder, "let's find you a bed."

I could still hear my mother telling me about the mountains and the crispness of the air like she did when I was little. She would curse my father for dragging her from her home in Ivarstead to the city of Leyawiin in Cyrodiil. He died shortly after I was born, leaving us with very little money. My mother had always wanted to return to Skyrim, but she was too poor and too ill. She followed my father to Sovngarde when I was only four years old. The Argonian who lived next door to us always made sure I didn't starve to death while I was too young to fend for myself, but she could never be bothered far enough to bring a Nord child into her home.

I grew up outside for the most part. Learning to live on my own, and selling the few animals I was able to spare from my hunting for a few coins now and then. When I got old enough I learned that as a woman I had other things I could sell, and I could make good money with myself. My tall, muscular build, green eyes, red-blonde hair and ivory skin helped me stand out among the other women in southern Cyrodiil. So I sold myself. I didn't mind it so much. I could run free during the day, I was tied to nothing and no one. Especially not a man.

During the nights I belonged to them, the obese, smelly, pathetic men and I hated them for it. They were disgusting. I would remind myself all night that the days were coming. I could always rely on that sun to crest over the horizon and my freedom would find me again. I would run through the forests, bathe in the rivers and lakes. I knew the land and the animals, and it knew me. Every night before I would return to the town I would hide my money in a tree along with the ribbon my mother use to tie in my hair when I was young. She had to be kept separate from my nights, she was pure and strong and my nights were twisted and contemptible. I would hold it in my hand and marvel at the blue it was, like ice.

"Just like the skies in my homeland," she would say as she weaved it in my hair.

"I'm sorry Momma," I would whisper to it with a kiss before tucking it in with my gold.

That night was particularly bad. I had been with this man before. He was a traveling merchant and would have me visit when he stopped in Leyawiin. He was rather self-serving in the act and tended to sweat profusely. He had fallen asleep quite some time ago and I was drifting off to sleep myself.

"Dyre," I hear a woman's voice call me, "Dyre, little one."

"Momma?" I whispered, confused, "Momma, is that you?"

"Go home," she whispered back, "go home my child."

"I don't understand..." I sat up in the bed, "Momma, I am home."

"Be free. Go home."

I was beginning to panic. I stood up and quickly gathered my light hide armor, quiver, and bow. I glanced around the room and saw the merchant’s coin purse sitting on the dresser. I snatched it and bolted out the door, silently. The Innkeeper looked at me knowingly from behind the counter. I was in here too often for her to not know what I did, but tonight I didn't care. I didn't stop running until I made it back to the tree where I had stashed my belongings.

I found a good spot near the top of the tree that I wouldn't roll out of if I fell asleep and settled in for the night. The next thing I knew it was morning. The sunlight was turning the inside of my eyelids red. I dropped out of the tree and made my way to the nearby stream, where I knelt and washed my face. I stared at my reflection for a bit in the stream and was amazed at how much I looked like my mother. I sat down and pulled the blue ribbon out of my satchel.

Pulling all my hair to one side I braided the ribbon into my hair just like my mother used to. I stood and breathed in the dewy air.

"Alright Momma," I hoped she could hear me in Sovengarde, "I'll go home."

The sun still hadn't risen over the horizon when I woke from the dream that was part memory, and part nightmare. Between the unfamiliar surroundings and the howling coming from the wolves that lived beyond the walls of Whiterun, I hadn't slept well. I was just ready to get the day started. I silently slipped up the stairs from the living quarters to the main hall. The fire was still going strong and the smell of food still saturated the air. I closed my eyes and filled my nose with the sweet smell of confections and meat. My stomach snarled at me, I still hadn't eaten since the morning of the day before.

I tried to move through the hall as quietly as I could, I was hoping to be able to slip out and save myself the embarrassment of being seen the morning after being taken in like a lost dog.

"I haven't seen you before, dear," the voice of an old woman startled me. "You must be the new recruit Kodlak mentioned."

I turned around and tried to regain control of my pounding heart. "Err... yes," I managed to return her smile.

"Well child, I am Tilma. I have cared for the Companions for probably longer than you have been alive," she patted my shoulder. "Would you mind helping me get the platters of food for the morning meal? I do have trouble carrying them in my old age."

"Of course," I had wanted to sneak away, but I couldn't tell this lovely woman no.

"Thank you," she walked over a table in the corner. "I managed to fit them all on two platters this morning."

The platters she was talking about were about three feet long and two feet wide. "That's a lot of food,” my eyes were wide at the small mountains of food piled on the platters.

She laughed, "need to keep warriors good and full, so they don't feel like they need to go eat elsewhere."

I nodded, but I didn't understand, what was wrong with them wanting to go get some food at the local Inn? I picked up the platter filled with sweet rolls and some other amazing looking confection. I walked it over to the long tables that wrapped around the fire and tried to place it as close to the center as I could.

"What are these?" I asked pointing to the cakes with cream coming out of the top, they looked delicious.

"Oh, those are boiled cream treats. My specialty," she winked at me. "Go ahead, have one."

"Oh, I couldn't," I shook my head, "I don't actually live here."

"Nonsense," she waved her hand at me, "have one. You earned it, helping me."

My stomach growled again, and I blushed, "okay." I picked up one of the cakes. It began to fall apart in my hand and the sugar-coating cracked. I quickly ate the piece that was falling off.

"Mmmm..." I couldn't help but moan as the treat melted in my mouth. The custard-like filling was creamy and sweet. I had never had something so wonderful. Before I could stop myself I had sunk into one of the chairs by the table. I was so absorbed in my treat I hadn't noticed the waking warriors.

"Who is that?" one woman whispered to another.

"I don't know, but she looks..." they stared at me, "odd."

I froze where I was sitting, the boiled cream treat half in my mouth, my cheeks full of food. I tried my best to smile at them, but I imagine I looked like a small child with her mouth stuffed full of something she wasn't supposed to be eating.

They burst into laughter.

I could feel my cheeks turning red as the heat from embarrassment rushed to my face. I placed the treat on the plate in front of me on the table and tried my best to clean my face off.

'Just get up and leave.' I scolded myself, 'it’s not worth the humiliation.'

"Morning," a familiar voice mumbled.

I looked up to see Farkas, half awake and looking down at me. His face was curved into a half-smile as he sat down next to me, and I could feel the red in my cheeks deepen. He was only half-dressed with a pair of loose-fitting pants on and not much else.

"I take it Kodlak let you stay," he continued to smile as he piled meat and bread onto his plate.

I nodded. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I had expected to make it out of here before anyone saw me, let alone talked to me. Social situations were more than uncomfortable for me, they were painful. I had always been the dirty Nord girl no one wanted to associate with. Nervously, I tried to find something to do with my hands, in an attempt to keep them from shaking. They made their way to my hair, which I pulled to the side and tried to braid. I pulled the blue ribbon I always carried with me from the spot where I tucked it next to my hip and secured the bottom.

"That's pretty," Farkas pointed to the braid, "none of the women here ever put anything pretty in their hair." He took a bite of the venison he was holding.

"Thank you," I tried to steady my voice, "it was something my mother gave me."

"That makes it prettier," he smiled.

I smiled back, and we sat in silence around the large tables while everyone slowly gathered and ate their morning meal. I avoided eye contact with most of the people at the table and most of all I avoided looking even slightly towards Vilkas. I still couldn't believe these two were brothers. I glanced over at Farkas to see him still smiling while he ate his food. I hadn't dared to look at Vilkas since he rose from the lower level of the hall, but I remembered his face. It was dark and full of anger. The anger etched into him had reached out from his very person and touched me. I didn't want him to test me outside like Kodlak had said, and I certainly didn't want to spend time with him for training.

"Are you going to eat that?" Farkas asked, pulling me from the rising panic in my chest. "You haven't eaten anything while we've been sitting here."

"I'm not very hungry," I mumbled, as my stomach growled, betraying me.

Farkas laughed. It was a hearty, full laugh that filled the whole hall. "Eat it," he beamed at me.

I smiled. I couldn't help but smile with how he was smiling at me. "Okay," I reached for my half-eaten treat. My stomach thanked me as I finished it and two more before Farkas rose from his chair.

"I'll see you in the yard," he was still smiling; I was pretty sure he hadn't stopped the entire time he was eating, "Vilkas will be testing you soon, and I want to be there when he does."

I heart leaped. Not only would I have to hold my own against a foe twice my size, but I had to do it with an audience. Yet there was something comforting about knowing he would be there. Perhaps he wouldn't allow Vilkas to kill me.