You’ll Always Have Me
Summary: Alyssa and Ashton have been best friends ever since Alyssa moved in across the street the summer before second grade. Together, they were tackling the stereotype that boys and girls can’t just be friends. That is, until they almost kissed right before their junior year of high school. Can their friendship survive the jealousy that stems from their newfound feelings? And what happens when they realize these “newfound feelings” really aren’t all that new?
A/N: Final chapter! Epilogue up tomorrow!
And away, and away we go!
Chapter 16
~Alyssa
July 2025~
“Gorgeous,” I smiled as I stared at our reflections in the mirror.
“This is it!” she grinned.
“Yep,” I nodded. “It’s your day, Si. Fuckin finally.”
“You’re telling me,” she laughed. “Are you nervous?”
“Why would I be nervous? I just gotta stand there.”
She made a face. “You know what I mean. You haven’t seen each other in six fucking years.”
I shrugged and sat down on the little couch. “So? We’ve been busy. It’s not like we haven’t talked.”
“Has he said anything… like… you know?”
I shook my head. “No, everything’s been pretty superficial since…”
“What are you gonna do?”
“Nothing. This is your day.”
“So, you’re just gonna let him leave again? Just keep pretending like you’re not supposed to be more than friends?”
I walked back towards the mirror, giving my makeup one last look over. “No,” I told her, grabbing the tube of lipstick and swiping it across my lips. “Once everything settles down, I’ll make my move.” I still wasn’t sure if I was going to go with the dramatic speech or if I was just going to kiss him and let the action speak for itself. I’d figure that part out later. I was better at thinking on the spot anyways.
As we lined up for the procession, I played it cool, ignoring his presence as he chatted with Luke a few feet from me. I ignored how my heart fluttered at how he still looked like my Ash. I quickly looked away when his gaze found mine, but I could see his dimple as his lips quirked up into a smile.
He didn’t say anything when he finally walked over to me. He just offered me his arm, and we shared a knowing smile as I linked my arm through his.
Throughout the ceremony, whenever my gaze lingered on his, he’d wink at me, and I’d see that smirk I had missed so much when my cheeks inevitably flushed.
Once the reception got in full swing, I made my way over to the bar. “Long time no see,” a voice sounded beside me as I got my drink.
I took a long sip, already knowing who the voice belonged to because I would recognize that voice anywhere. “Six years and your go to line is ‘long time no see’? Wow, it’s a good thing you’re pretty…” I took another sip to hide my blush at the fact that I had just told him he was ‘pretty’.
“Pretty? Me? Have you looked in a mirror recently?”
“Are you hitting on me?”
“You started it, gorgeous,” he said, winking.
I finally laughed and set my drink down, before wrapping him in a hug. “I’ve really fucking missed you,” I whispered as I let him go.
“I’ve missed you, too. What’re you drinking?”
“It’s an open bar,” I pointed out.
“I know. What’re you drinking?”
“Whiskey and soda.”
He let out a small giggle as he ordered himself a beer. “Of fuckin’ course.”
“What?”
“Most girls drink wine, or something fruity. But, you’re not most girls.”
“Oh, and you spend a lot of time with these ‘most girls’ huh?”
He giggled again and took a long sip. “Nah, I learned a while ago that ‘most girls’ weren’t my thing.”
There is was: my opening. Now all I needed was a little courage. I downed my drink and pushed the glass aside. Then, I stared right into those eyes that I’ve been dreaming about for years. “Good thing I’m not most girls, then,” I said as seductively as possible before snaking my arms around his neck and kissing him long and deep. His arms instinctively wrapped around me pulling me tight against him, and my hands reached up to tug at his hair.
“Damn you,” he said as we broke apart. His eyes were shining and his lips were puffy as he smiled coyly down at me.
“What?” I asked innocently, still reeling from the kiss that was eight years late, but more than worth the wait.
“I’m the man. I’m supposed to make the move.”
“Then make it,” I said, leaning up close to his face.
It wasn’t the sweet whisperings of long kept confessions like in the movies. This was desperate-for-more, can’t-get-enough, long-overdue, heated passion as we fumbled our way upstairs to a room. Our clothes lay scattered across the hotel floor, as we lay side by side, catching our breath.
I rolled to my side and propped myself up on my elbow, taking it all in. He still looked so much like the boy I had hugged goodbye all those years ago, a lazy grin on his face. The only difference was that now his hair was shorter, and his arms were decorated in tattoos. But he was still Ash, my best friend. And I had just slept with him. And lo and behold, the world was still turning.
I reached out my hand to gently trace my fingers over the snake on his bicep. “We should probably get downstairs before they notice were gone,” I suggested, even though every part of me was begging to stay like this forever.
“Oh, they already noticed.”
“Still,” I said, before rolling back over and starting to get up.
His hand reached out to grab my arm, tugging softly. “Stay,” he said, tugging again.
“Fine,” I giggled as I let him pull me into his arms. I giggled again as I laid on top of him, thinking just how crazy this all was.
“What were you gonna tell me?” he suddenly asked.
“What?”
“When you dropped me off at the base. You called me ‘Ashton.’ What were you gonna say?”
“Oh… I was going to say that I was in love with you, and that I always have been, and ask when we were both gonna stop being stupid.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“You called me ‘Alyssa,’” I recalled. “You said you knew. You left before I could ask what you knew.”
“I knew that you were in love with me.”
“How?! And why didn’t you say anything?”
He chuckled. “Lu told me right before senior year. And I didn’t say anything because you were with Calum. It didn’t matter.”
“I’m gonna kill Si… You knew for a whole year and didn’t say anything?!”
“Lu only told me because I was miserable that you had just told me you were falling in love with Calum. And the only reason Si told him was probably because he told her the same thing.”
“He told Si that I was in love with you? Not possible. I only ever told Si.”
“No, I told Lu that I was in love with you. And he probably told Si when she told him our secret, that apparently was only a secret to us.”
“Whoa, back up… you told Lu you were in love with me?”
He nodded, “Was, am, yeah, whatever.”
“Am?” I asked.
He rolled his eyes and smirked. “Alyssa Renee Clifford, I have been in love with you ever since I first heard you say you hated being called ‘Aly.’” He leaned forward to kiss me. “It’s taken me longer than I like to get the guts to say it, but damn it, I love you, okay? More than you will ever know.”
I smiled and was glad the lighting was dim so he couldn’t see the tears rolling down my cheeks. Unfortunately, my voice gave me away as it cracked when I told him, “Ashton Fletcher Irwin, I have been just as in love with you ever since you first flashed that stupid smile of yours. And I will love you until the end of time.”
“Aw, Aly,” he soothed, cupping my face in his hands. “Please don’t cry.”
“They’re happy tears, Ash.”
“Good,” he said before kissing me, which started another go, this time whispered “I love you’s” mixing with the can’t-get-enough passion from before.
Two and a half weeks later, my tears were anything but happy as I stared at that stupid little stick on the bathroom counter. “Fuck,” I muttered. While everything was out in the open, Ash and I hadn’t established what this was or what we wanted this to be, choosing instead to let our feelings stay between us and our bedrooms.
I quickly pulled out my phone and called him. “Hey, gorgeous,” he answered, picking up on the first ring. Although I was growing used to him calling me “Gorgeous” it still my heart race every time I heard it. Finally, I was the girl in Ashton Irwin’s arms. Me! But, I doubted I would be for much longer.
“Hey,” I croaked out, starting to pace through my apartment.
“Uh-oh, what’s up?”
“Nothing,” I lied. “It can wait.”
“Aly…” he pressed.
“Seriously. Nothing's gonna change between now and when you get off work. It can wait.”
“But, you’re upset now… Look, give me a half hour, okay? Downtown?”
I nodded before I remembered he couldn’t see me. “Okay, I’ll see you in a bit.” As I got myself ready, I wondered what his reaction would be. Would this news change everything between us? And if so, was I prepared to deal with that change? I had just gotten him, so I certainly wasn’t ready to let him walk away due to a slight mishap.
He was already at a table by the time I got the courage to get out of my car and go inside. “Hey,” he said, getting out of his seat to wrap me in a hug. When I didn’t hug him back, he frowned as we both sat down. “No famous rib-crushing hug? This really isn’t good.”
I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, so I just unlocked my phone and slid it across towards him.
“I’m assuming this is yours?” he asked, staring at the picture of the positive pregnancy test.
I nodded.
He let out his breath. “Okay, then.”
“Okay, then, what?” I asked, finally speaking.
“Okay, then, I guess I’m becoming a dad. Unless you… which is fine! I mean it’s your choice and all...”
“No! Wait… you want to be a part of this?”
“Well, yeah… I mean, it’s mine right?”
I reached out and smacked his arm as hard as I could. “Yes, it’s yours!” I growled.
He winced and rubbed where I had slapped him. “Fuckin’ hell, woman! It was a joke!”
“Well, now’s not the time!” I yelled across the table at him before bursting into tears.
He sighed and moved over to sit next to me. “Alright, sorry. You’re upset, I get that. Is that what you were worried about? That I wouldn’t want this?” he asked, an arm wrapping around my shoulder.
I nodded again.
“Aly, you’re my best friend. You’ll always have me, c’mon now.”
“So, you’re in?” I choked out, peering up at him.
“All in,” he smiled. “Always.”
For the next eight months, Ash was there. Every doctor’s appointment, each hormonal meltdown, all the late night cravings, he was there with that damn smirk and dancing eyes. We both said goodbye to our tiny apartments in favor of a small house on the edge of town, and went absolutely nuts decorating the baby’s room. We were scared shitless, but ecstatic as hell at the same time.
I was driving home from work one day, thinking about how I couldn’t wait to relax. Every part of my body was killing me, and all I wanted was to lie down. The light turned green and I started to move into the intersection, someone’s car horn blaring. All I could think once the impact hit me and my vehicle started to flip was that this was gonna hurt like hell.
When I woke up in the hospital I was first aware of how much everything hurt. Then, I was aware of Ash, glancing up from a chair before hurrying to my side. “Oh, thank God,” he mumbled, tears in his eyes. “You scared the crap out of me!” he said, raining kisses on my face.
“Baby?” I asked, my mind piecing everything together and very worried for the baby.
“Baby’s fine. She’s fine,” he told me, after every inch of my face had been kissed, assuring him that I was really here in front of him.
“It’s a girl?” I asked, starting to cry myself.
He nodded, wiping at the tears on his cheeks. “Totally healthy and absolutely gorgeous.”
“Can I see her?”
“Get better first, okay? We’re not going anywhere. God, I thought I lost you.” He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.
I tried to laugh but it hurt. God, it hurt so bad. Maybe if I closed my eyes for a bit. God, I was so tired. “C’mon, Ash,” I said, closing my eyes. “You’ll always have me.”
