β 6oοΉ senderΒ clapsΒ aΒ handΒ overΒ receiverβsΒ mouthΒ toΒ silenceΒ them . (@ Nishiki)
100 nonverbal prompts. / accepting.
isΒ itΒ soΒ wrongΒ toΒ feelΒ inadequate?Β itβsΒ silly,Β evenΒ toΒ him,Β thatΒ heΒ needsΒ toΒ rationalizeΒ hisΒ ownΒ emotions.Β thatΒ heΒ hasΒ to..Β considerΒ thatΒ whatΒ heβsΒ feelingΒ isΒ wrongΒ andΒ sillyΒ andΒ goddamnit,Β akira,Β focus!Β saysΒ theΒ fakeΒ kazamaΒ thatβsΒ currentlyΒ hittingΒ hisΒ brainΒ withΒ aΒ bokken.Β /Β βbecauseΒ ifΒ heΒ doesnβtΒ giveΒ aΒ hundredΒ percentΒ toΒ theΒ dojimaΒ nameΒ then,Β clearly,Β heβsΒ failing.Β heβsΒ aΒ failure.Β takeΒ hisΒ mark-2Β grandeΒ andΒ throwΒ itΒ beneathΒ aΒ crusherΒ since,Β whatever,Β right?Β heΒ isnβtΒ deservingΒ ofΒ aΒ fancyΒ carΒ ifΒ heΒ canβtΒ evenΒ doΒ hisΒ damnΒ job.
..Β reinaΒ listens,Β sometimes.Β thoughΒ heΒ canΒ tellΒ sheβsΒ onlyΒ beingΒ polite.Β hasΒ toldΒ himΒ thatΒ "theΒ timeΒ willΒ comeΒ forΒ youΒ toΒ shine!"Β butΒ βΒ heΒ canβtΒ feelΒ it.Β deep,Β rootedΒ inΒ hisΒ chest;Β anΒ uglyΒ pinnacleΒ ofΒ shame.Β βshame,Β andΒ theΒ nowΒ threeΒ bottlesΒ ofΒ chuhaiΒ sloshingΒ aroundΒ inΒ hisΒ system.Β inΒ hindsight,Β maybeΒ drinkingΒ onΒ aΒ particularlyΒ badΒ dayΒ wasΒ notΒ oneΒ ofΒ hisΒ bestΒ decisions.Β alas,Β hereΒ heΒ is.Β novaΒ besideΒ him,Β inΒ someΒ quiet,Β emptyΒ bar,Β drinkingΒ hisΒ sorrowsΒ awayβ¦
"maybeΒ iβmΒ theΒ problem."Β heΒ croaks,Β voiceΒ aΒ registerΒ heβsΒ neverΒ heardΒ himselfΒ beΒ in.Β high,Β panicked,Β whinyβΒ dearΒ god.Β heβsΒ becomeΒ aΒ whiner.Β "maybe..Β iΒ donβtΒ know.Β kiryu,Β heβΒ heΒ hasΒ itΒ allΒ figuredΒ out.Β andΒ iβmΒ justβΒ justΒ what?Β someΒ fuckinββΒ decoy?Β aΒ uselessΒ guppieΒ thatΒ canβtΒ evenΒ getΒ hisΒ ownΒ shitΒ togethβ"
aΒ handΒ toΒ hisΒ mouth.Β warm,Β real,Β grounding.Β aΒ littleΒ rude,Β butβΒ needed.Β immediatelyΒ heΒ shutsΒ up,Β eyesΒ flickeringΒ fromΒ theΒ groundΒ upΒ toΒ her,Β staringΒ withΒ aΒ blink,Β blink,Β blink.Β forΒ aΒ momentΒ heβsΒ quiet,Β brainΒ halfΒ aΒ mileΒ backΒ andΒ stillΒ processingΒ theΒ here,Β theΒ now.Β then,
"..Β sawee."Β (sorry.)Β muffledΒ againstΒ herΒ palm,Β lookingΒ muchΒ likeΒ aΒ kickedΒ dogΒ moreΒ thanΒ theΒ soldierΒ heβsΒ meantΒ toΒ be.Β couldΒ imagineΒ whatΒ hisΒ swornΒ brotherΒ wouldΒ thinkΒ ofΒ him,Β seeingΒ himΒ getΒ handledΒ inΒ suchΒ aΒ way.Β "whatβsΒ happenedΒ toΒ you,Β kyΕdai?"Β βwhatβsΒ happenedΒ isΒ heβsΒ hitΒ rockΒ bottom.Β thisΒ isΒ rockΒ bottom,Β imaginaryΒ kiryu.Β ugh.
