#an empty shell

idk i think im just sensitive bc its his birthday month

haven't been on tumblr for years, haven't seen a point, haven't seen a point to much in a very long time, but there is something about the noises of being more inner city, hearing the rattle of the trams and the dinging of their bells, the general city noises.....that seem to kind of settle me. Even in this room with no window but only a mere non transparent skylight that lets in natural light but no sign of the outside world, making it feel kind of like a prison in a way and yet peaceful in another...when rain hits it it sounds like rain hitting a tin roof almost.....but this almost prison cell like room, the city noises I can hear but not see unless I sit out the front of the house, the little terrace only good for a washing line and the hot water heater, topped the barbed wire and rusting hastily bolted together sheets of corrugated iron as a fence, games like andy and leyley, class of 09, other stuff like that, this disconnect from the world around me grows, I shut myself out from the world a long time ago and yet I feel an ache for what could have been, the trajectory life could have taken, but now, now I think I am at peace with the disconnect, at peace with something that is simply existing until one day....I don't, gone without a trace, remembered by no one, forgotten by all, dust in the wind.....final absolute peace

YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH QUACKITY

watching or reading anything with romantic content is difficult because i'm full of love but i'm also full of a deep and unyielding fear of intimacy of any kind

since bailey is on a firing spree can she fire the writers as well because this season is A MESS

x