finding peace in the present situation
I've been thinking a lot about this (http://amybasel.tumblr.com/post/40899959450/i-believe-there-comes-a-time-where-god-brings-us) post.
It really spoke to me, because, although i don't feel like i am about to have all the dreams about mission i've been having come true, or that i even know exactly where that mission lay, i do definitely feel that GOD is giving me this next month to come to Him and rest in His plan, in His love, in His strength, in His goodness, in His beautiful character.
I have been stressing about how i am just not doing anything--i am not working (it would be pointless to get a job for a month, then move, then get another job for a month), not going to school (still have no idea why none of my applications worked--one college didn't even respond to my multiple emails), not farming (and might not even farm, which i am fine with), not with my boyfriend, who is experiencing some amazing spiritual change (and i foolishly think i could help with that), not with any of my friends (distance separates me from all my relationships right now), not going to a place where i have friends (either SC, where i have never lived, or an internship, where i'll live on the farm). I have felt that every part of my ministry, my purpose in life, and the general things i enjoy in life have been swept aside and i've been put into this flux situation wherein i can only hope to somehow attain some peace about it.
But that post gave me some real thoughts to consider and let my heart hear. for one, my purpose in life is not specifically and only to love people--it's to glorify GOD by enjoying Him. And when i enjoy Him, it shows up in my life through the fruit of the Spirit. While i have been bearing that fruit in my relationships and my personal life, having my relationships set aside (or moved, really), does negate the reality of bearing fruit and loving and enjoying GOD.
edit: this is not to say that i am not praying about what GOD has planned from me and how i can pursue His purpose in my life, in regards to personal relationships as well as job and ministry.